instead of daycare, how about finding a MOPs or MOMs group? i made a TON of close friends that way and so have my sons. they are now both in pre-sch...
i just went to a seminar on this very issue and this will sound silly, but have you thought of ASKING her what's going on? when she's calm? i didn't...
our son was 3 1/2 when he came home. he potty trained in just a few days. partly because the dog gets poop treats (when she goes, she gets a treat) ...
it depends on the situation for me. if my child was hurting another child, i would hope another parent would step in if i couldn't get there in time....