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| Mother of 3 |
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| Children: |
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Amber (girl, 36 years old) |
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Wayne (boy, 31 years old) |
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Taylor (, 26 years old) |
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| Interests: |
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Cooking, baking, reading, dieting, holiday crafts, scrapbooking, couponing, billards, scrabble, shopping, mary kay, camping, wine tasting, dancing, country music |
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| I'm a single mom of 3 children, ages 23, 18 and 14 & have a 2 yr. old grandson. I’ve recently separated from my second husband of a 2 year marriage, but 5 year long mostly unhealthy relationship for myself and my children. I've been the a single parent for 12 -1/2 years after leaving my first husband that I was with for 13 years, and a very unhealthy, unhappy marriage, and have had to be the sole responsible parent in all aspects of my children’s lives, with the exception of my kids seeing their father 2 days a month. I 'm raising my 3rd, and youngest daughter while my oldest 2 are moved out and on their own, and it seems 10 times harder than it was with my 2 older children. There is 5 years between each of my kids, 10 between my oldest and youngest and at times it has proved to be a blessing and others a struggle. My aspirations, as this site asks for, are to have all of my children become well balanced, happy, independent adults with good morals and enjoy all that life has to offer, what I think every parent wants. What I'm hoping to get from this site is advice from other parents on how they deal with their teens on several different subjects and aspects of life. I'm having trouble in EVERY aspect of being a mom to my 14 yr. old daughter, and she walks ALL over me, disrespects me and doesn't have any empathy for me it seems, and has trouble with authority period if she doesn't like what people are saying to her. I do take responsibility for choices I’ve made over the years that have directly affected her in a bad way and cannot seem to do enough to reverse the hurt it’s caused her. I’ve had way too much of being told, even from professionals “she’s just being a teenager, it will pass”. I can’t imagine all families have to live like this. It’s not healthy and certainly doesn’t make for a happy home. I know I experienced similar behavior with both of my older children & that seems like a life time ago. I just think it feels different and hurts me more because I’ve been so close w/my youngest and the fact that she is my youngest too. I let her do things and get away with more than I ever let my older 2 children. My experience raising my youngest on my own has been very different than my other 2 when I was married to their father. I have done so many things different along the way, at the same time figuring out who I was as my Own Person too, considering I became a parent very young at the age of 16 and married at 17. I've been the sole parent & provider in every way for my kids for so long and I've had a much closer relationship with her than my other 2 children (protecting her, babying her as my older kids would say, the whole time, trying to make up for no dad 95% of the time & trying to be the best parent I could be), that is until about 2 years or so ago, that is when my little girl started to become a TEEN. She’s always been mommy’s biggest fan and all of the sudden I wasn't so cool to be around or "Fun" anymore. |
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| My oldest daguther is 23 and has a 2 year old son. She is working f/t at a sub shop (assist. mgr) while continuing her education, finishing her Associates in Criminal Forensics. She is a GREAT mom, and very responsible, I couldn't be more proud.....BUT, she's in and out of an Unhealthy relationship w/the father of her son, has low self esteem & confidence issues and I can't help but Know that my bad choices in life, mistakes I've made, my own struggles w/depression & anxiety over the years, and having never had a healthy relationship to set an example has Severely Affected her. I know I shouldn't blame myself for everything that has happened to her, or that she struggles with but it is so hard, sometimes I feel like I'm watching a repeat of my relationship w/her father, and now know the struggles my parents must have dealt with when they were watching me make the wrong choices, I feel helpless at times and try to offer advice & she gets very upset and frustrated with me, and other times thanks me...Either way, we have the closest relationship now that we didn't have when she was a teen, and she respects me & knows I will always be there for her even if I disagree with her choices in life. she has written a couple of college papers over the years that have Amazed me and made me cry....There were about ME and my struggles and all that she's learned from my experiences. I realized I must have dont something right...lol. she's alot like me, she likes to cook, read, and has several of the same hobbies I do.
My son is 18, lives w/his girlfriend and works f/t. He is a polite and respectful person (is what people always tell me :) BUT it was a STRUGGLE and a half getting there....my son was 5 when his father and I separated and by the time he was 8 thru 16 he always did the opposite of what I told him. School was very hard, he did have somewhat of a learning disability, so he struggled academically, half of the time he didn't try too and was in trouble so much in school. I did everything and anything I could to try to FIX everything and control and change him...it just never seemed to work, so I struggled. He didn't have "DAD" 90% of the time, so it was hard. He quit school in 11th grade because he wouldn't be able to graduate on time, would've had to go an extra year, (and he could've avoided all of it if he'd just put in the effort to do the work, and attended summer school last year), but he didn't and hasn't gotten his GED yet as planned because he wanted to move out and live w/his girlfriend so he has been trying to make money to live on his own ever since, AND now has a decent f/t time job that he hates most of the time, but he ALSO respects me now, like he didn't all those years I struggled to get him to, AND I am very proud of him, so I must have done something right? He too was affected by my bad choices in relationships after my separation from his father and by things his father has & hasn't done. ALL of my kids have been affected, even from my current husband, both bad and good from him. BUT my son has good morals, doesn't treat his girlfriend bad (as he's seen his father do, and men I've been with), And he is smart, motivated, responsible and well balanced.
My youngest daughter is very outgoing & athletic. She's very smart and was always getting in trouble in school until this year, 8th grade, mostly to get attention from peers and was the class clown so to speak. I'm very proud of her as well for her accomplishments in school and several sports, I just wish she would trust me and confide in me like my oldest daughter, but she has shut me out and I am always blaming myself because I know my current husband has hurt her and seriously affected her life in a negative way.... hence the reason I am always letting her walk all over me I guess. I'm surrently in the process of 1 of many separations w/my husband. We have lived apart for most of our 5 year relationship due to things just "NOT WORKING OUT", arguing about out kids, and so on. He has 4 kids, 2 of which live at home, ages 9 and 12 both boys. He has anger management problems which have been hard to live with for both my kids and myself. But, he has treated my kids like his own and would do anything for me and my family. My kids have learned good values from him, and what it takes to work hard as well as being a devoted fireman to help others. I have stayed in our unhealthy marriage far too long due to my own insecurities, some of which are just hard to over come due to life experiences I've been through, and I've let the way he is hurt my children and at times I somehow thought being with him would help us but I now know I need to be the one to make the right choices (like I want my kids to) and move on with my life no matter how hard it is.
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| Parents of Teens |
| Public online group |
| "Parenting teens is exciting but at the same time can be..." |
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Member since: 03/22/2013
Last update: 03/22/2013
Current Status: Offline
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