when i first had my son i had a similar problem with my mother in law and i sat down with her and basically said- " look i know you love kole and i know you have good intentions with everything that you do but i dont agree with everything that you are doing when im not around. it doesnt mean your wrong or that im wrong we just have differnt ways of thinking but he is MY son and even though i want him to be able to spend time with you and i love having you there to help out with him i dont feel like i will be able to leave him with you unless you listen to what i want for him and follow my instructions." she was upset at firsrt but we talked and i told her some of the things that i disagreed with and i told her why and explained that i had talked with koles doctor about everything iw as doign with him and that his doctor has confirmed that nothing im doing is harming him in any way. i told her by all means if you feel like something im doing might be harming him then talk to me about it (maybe i didnt even realize it) but to go against what i want for my child is not right. it is YOUR son and as long as you arent doing anything to harm him (which from what u posted it doesnt sound like you are) then shes going to have to back off or you wont let him stay with her. idk if this will help at all but i know that im glad i had that talk with my mother in law and after we talked she did a total 180. she still didnt agree with everything i did and i still had to listen to her complain about my ways at times but she realized that if she wanted to see her grandson she would have to do things my way and so she did.....