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| Need to Vent Group |
| Public online group |
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Hello all! I am Amy and I just joined this group, I've been married to my wonderful hubby for almost 6years and our son is 13months old. I've been a housewife for 3 years now and I've been a SAHM since my son was born.
Ok so this really isn't a question, its more like a vent, but I'd like to have input anyone wants to give me, as long as its not mean.
My hubby use to work midnights(I'd sleep when he did and be up when he was so we could spend time together) but when we got prego he changed to swing shift(11am-7pm) which worked fine, he got to spend about 1 1/2 hrs with our son before work and almost 2hrs before Brandons bedtime...he'd help me give Brandon a bath and get him ready for bed, but still complained that Brandon didn't really listen to him or show him much attention. I tried to tell him that Brandon wants me all the time cause he is with me 24/7 and barely gets to see him but it still bugged him. NOW my hubby had to change his shift to 2pm to 10pm(his boss is stupid) so he'll get to spend more time with Brandon before he has to go to work, but I don't know if this is for the better. Because in total he'll be here about 1 1/2 hrs more than he was before(while Brandon is awake) so that will be more time but Brandon still only wants me. I know that the schedule change was only a short time ago(a few days) but I just want Brandon to want his Daddy too....He almost has a panic attack when I leave the room(Brandon) even if my hubby is i there with him. |
| Posted by Amers on 01/07/2009 02:08 PM
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| Give it time and have patience... Just support your hubby through this emotional rollercoaster...It will balance out |
| posted by ellen on 01/07/2009 03:42 PM
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I have a similar issue, mainly w/ my daughters (although I have 2 girls and 2 boys) I have always been the parent who has been home w/ the kids more. Their father and I have both always worked, but when schedules needed to be rearranged, I was the one working nights, and staying home with them during the day, etc.. so they are used to having mommy. Even when we both work days and they are in daycare, I am always home w/ them taking care of them in the evenings, and their father would go somewhere, or just be upstairs or outside,etc.. Now, we are no longer together and when they would go visit their dad sometimes they would cry for mommy, or even if we were all in the same house, if I went outside or to the bathroom, etc,even if daddy was there, they would cry.
I would suggest you leaving him alone w/ daddy for short times during the day, since he will be home now. Start with like 15 min, to run to the store or just go outside and relax (where he cant see you). Then the next time leave for like 30 minutes, etc so he can get used to being with daddy. That should help both of them get used to each other and have some bonding time. Your hubby will just have to understand that he is used to having mommy all the time, so if he cries for the whole 15 minutes, then daddy will just have to learn what Brandon likes to do and try to entertain him and do things w/ him. Soon you will be able to go shopping for hours and he will be fine at home w/ daddy. |
| posted by Amy on 01/07/2009 03:51 PM
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| i agree with Amy, my daughter was the same. my husband works 3rd shift, and has since before i met him. it was hard for him and Anna (my daughter) because he really isnt here often. and to add to that, he doesnt know that much about babies. we actually started with him getting her up in the mornings, and he would let me have another hour or two of extra sleep. not all the time, but every once in a while. its good for all of us too, i get extra sleep, he gets to try his hand at the things i do, changing her diaper and clothes, making and feeding her breakfast, and playing with her. and Anna gets to spend more time with him. now she cant get enough of him, it is still hard because he doesnt see her often. but when he gets up and before he goes to bed, he plays with her. and she knows she wont get to see him for very long, and so in that time she pretty much ignores me. which is fine by me, it gives them time together. |
| posted by Becky on 01/07/2009 05:26 PM
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| I had this problem shortly after my son was born. I needed some "me" time since I am one of those that is use to working 12 hour days. My son would do nothing but cry when I left. So I started giving our son to his dad every day when he got home for work so I could go get our daughter from school. There were many times that I came home to screaming baby. So the three of us would sit down together so he knew it was ok to like his dad. After awhile it started to work. When I went back to work my son started to want nothing to do with me since I was not around as much but that even out as well. Just give it some time and son will adjust. Just work at it and dont always give in right away. |
| posted by Becky on 01/13/2009 12:58 AM
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