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| Holly.welcome to motherhood.lol.men dont think like woman.i no it can be hard having a baby want u for everything an dad not help much.i wouldnt worrie about dads feelings.just tell him u need time to yourself an he needs time with baby.however as your baby gets older they gain more independance.it wont be long before they dont want to be with mom all the time! cherish these years.u wont get them back again |
| posted by amanda on 01/02/2009 10:41 PM
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| Holly.welcome to motherhood.lol.men dont think like woman.i no it can be hard having a baby want u for everything an dad not help much.i wouldnt worrie about dads feelings.just tell him u need time to yourself an he needs time with baby.however as your baby gets older they gain more independance.it wont be long before they dont want to be with mom all the time! cherish these years.u wont get them back again |
| posted by amanda on 01/02/2009 10:42 PM
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| Holly.welcome to motherhood.lol.men dont think like woman.i no it can be hard having a baby want u for everything an dad not help much.i wouldnt worrie about dads feelings.just tell him u need time to yourself an he needs time with baby.however as your baby gets older they gain more independance.it wont be long before they dont want to be with mom all the time! cherish these years.u wont get them back again |
| posted by amanda on 01/02/2009 10:42 PM
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| while i think it is important for every man to be close with their children.. I dont think all men are cut out to be...I would suggest you talk to him and find out what the problem may be with his end.. hoe may feel intimidated.... Its common for your child to want you if you are the primary caregiver. |
| posted by ellen on 01/03/2009 12:32 AM
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I agree with Ellen about wanting mom, but I personally also think that a lot of kids go through this with other people also. There will be times when it seems my son don't want me but he wants dad, then only a week or so later he wanted me and not dad. You know what I mean, they just bounce around some, but of course they really almost always want mom.
Anyway, my husband did the same thing, and I just flat out told him. I thought telling him would make him a better father, and it has. I had to be a little stern about it and really kind of get in his butt about it, but he realized I was right in what I was saying. Things like he could put a diaper on my son, but it would not stay and it would leak, so he learned how to really change the diaper, he learned how to feed him and to pick up on his little clues with things, and so on, you know some mom stuff. But he can't rock him or put him to bed without more trouble than I get. There are just some things only mom can do right. So my husband works swing shift and whenever he is home in the mornings when my son gets up he gets him up changes him and feeds him breakfast and I get to sleep in. So getting your husband involved can also have its perks. But most men don't really seem to get involved much until the child is older. You may notice the older your child gets the more interested your husband becomes. They don't really know how to interact. Now some men have it from the start. But I think you should talk to him, like I said it will only make him a better father in the long run, so if you may hurt his feelings some just explain that it is for her benefit and he should put his feelings to the side and learn. But you can come up with nicer words and a better way of putting it. ha ha. |
| posted by Kim on 01/03/2009 01:03 AM
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Hello,
Sorry it took me so long to respond. I feel so much better now that I know I'm not the only one going through this. Oh and I did have a small talk with him and that is all it took. He is already giving her a bath (by himself kinda scary lllooll ). Thanks again. Oh quick question does anyone live in Maryland. I just moved here and Sophia has no friends.
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| posted by Holly on 01/05/2009 07:34 AM
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| Yes, I agree that some men are just not cut out and are intimidated because they think that as moms we know what we are doing at all time...yeah right! Maybe you should start leaving them alone for a brief amount of time. You know, go run an errand for a few minutes and each trip make the trip a little longer. While you are out just leave some directions like telling him to read a book or play with blocks that way he doesn't just watch tv. I think we all have this probelm at some time just some have it worse than others. Every child needs their father so he needs to get involved. |
| posted by Tara on 01/05/2009 08:27 AM
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| Wow Holly, you are braver than me. lol. I have not let my husband give my son a bath yet. That is kind of scary. lol. I don't know, for as much as we want them to help out it is really hard to give them the space to also. Maybe it is us causing some of the problem. Maybe they pick up on the protectivness that we put off. I know after my c section and came home I was really really sick. They had found that I also had cancer of the vulva while I was pregnant, and I had to go right back for 2 more surgeries a couple months after my son was born, so like I said I was really sick. But, I had to get up and do everything to take care of my son no matter what. My mom was here for 3 weeks to help and they both just kept yelling at me to go to bed and they would take care of him and everything. But I just couldn't. So since then he has actually told me that he felt he was not suppose to do step on my toes. But again after talking to him and explaining that, that time was over and for him to help he did. lol. Good luck |
| posted by Kim on 01/05/2009 03:57 PM
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| You know I posted a mssg bcuz my daughter's dad had been wanting to take care of her all by himself and I was "paranoid" about letting him do so. I got great advise and decided to let him "babysit" her one day. He did and did a good job (didnt call me more than 3 times in 5 hours). So this weekend he's at my house telling ME how to take care of MY daughter. Telling me what she likes and doesnt like and it just annoyed me to think that after spending 1 day w/ her he'd think he knows her better than I do. So then I stopped to wonder why I felt this way towards him and realized I was just jealous. I know it's wrong, but that's how I felt bcuz until then, I was the only one who took care of my daughter and felt like she "needed" me. I wanted to keep feeling "needed" and felt he was taking that from me. But that's my own issue I had to deal with. I'm over it now, wondering if he can baby sit this week so I can hit the gym! |
| posted by April on 01/05/2009 04:16 PM
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| April, you know that is sooo funny. I did the very same thing. After getting on my husband to help out more with my son, he started telling me things. I found my self raising my voice to him a little saying who is the one here with him all day every day? I know what he likes and don't like. I don't need you telling me about my son. And same thing, I realized I was jealous. It is hard to realize that you are not the only one that can provide and love your child. As you I got over it. It was just plain silly. But still sometimes that feeling creeps back up on me and I just keep my mouth shut, which is hard for me to do, as you may have realized, lol. |
| posted by Kim on 01/05/2009 04:55 PM
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| LOL.. Okay so at least I know I'm not the only one. Its bad, I know because at times I feel my daughters dad must think he cant win for loosing when it comes to my daughter. |
| posted by April on 01/05/2009 08:11 PM
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LOL well I don't have that problem with my husband BUT you know there is always a but somewhere. Anyway whenever I visit my mother she does just that. She tells me what my daughter likes and doesn't like and then tells me what she thinks I should do and so on.
Wowsers I have to make sure whenever I visit my folks house that I'm not PMSing. LOL. |
| posted by Holly on 01/06/2009 09:30 PM
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Holly,
I know what you mean. Me and my mom are really best friends. But since I have had my son we have been at it so many times. I really was ready for everyone telling me what they thought kind of thing. You know try this, this is what he needs, this is what I did, thing, but it got way out of hand. I hate to even feed my son when my mom is over. But I do have to admit that I call her a lot for advice, but that is different. When I ask for it that is one thing, pushing things on me is another. I don't know what to give my kid to drink, outside of the milk. The Dr. tells me water, no more juice than 4 oz. a day. My mom tells me to give him juice. I don't know if I should shit or go blind. So for the most part I just shake my head and then do what I want.
Again another issue it is nice to know someone else is dealing with, not just me. |
| posted by Kim on 01/07/2009 02:07 AM
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