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| Need to Vent Group |
| Public online group |
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| I've started beauty school about 2 weeks ago. I am in alot of pain from the freaking car accident I was in. I've been tested for everything possiable. I go back to the doctor the friday after Christmas. I am really struggling with going to school and being on my feet for 4 hours without a break. I have some diesaes but the doctor won't tell me until I can talk face to face after x-mas. Anyways. I recently found out I'm pregnant. I'm freaking terrified. I've had so much trouble with every pregnancy and I'm so freaked out. For some reason tonight at school I was in extreme pain where I had stop and sit down. My hole body was on fire. My husband takes care of our daughter and his son when I'm in school. I come home and our house is a FUCKING wreak! I tell him nicely can you please clean up! The last thing I want to do is take care of the house and kids during the day , go to classes at night and come home and can't even walk because the kids toys are all over the house. The rule is no tv until the toys are picked up (when I'm home thats the rule) It's like when I'm gone what the hell is he doing? Watching tv.? I told him when I started he was going to help out more around here and he told me he would. He has done 2 loads of laundry but piled it all on my bed so i'd have to put it away to go to bed. Bull shit. I've thrown it on the floor. I'm so tired. I got a board file tommarrow at school and I haven't really had time to study. The other thing is my mom is still in jail and she won't be here for Christmas. That's has me pretty upset. But I've gotten over her a little bit. I just wish my husband would do more!!!!! |
| Posted by Kris on 12/17/2008 10:32 PM
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| Have you explained all this to him? If you have and he's still acting like this. I would tell him to do some serious changing! Other wise your gonna loose your mind! Do you have any friends around that can help you out? Sounds like you really need as many people there for you as you can get. I know you probolly don't wanna hear it but if he doesn't help out after you tell him.. I would leave him. Cause obiously he only cares so much. Is he working?? I have been there and just throwing out the im feed up and if you don't so some changing your gonna end up loosing me worked. I was serious though I would have left. |
| posted by Loni on 12/17/2008 10:40 PM
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| lets not pussy foot... you sound pissed off at the world and something like toys in the way of your going to bed made you snap.... Is it the car accident? is it the new preganancy wondering if all will be ok? is it lack of a mother figure in your life? One thing i learned is Hubby never does what you tell them to do.. they try but they never undersand fully... i think you need to stop worrying about certain things..... with life comes pain and with pain comes pleasure... if you can only let go of your most extreme wishes of order then life could be lived to the fullest and stress relieved. |
| posted by ellen on 12/17/2008 11:54 PM
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| As far as the pain the doctor thinks it can be lupus. I have good days and bad days. My pain is serious. Yeah, my husband works full time and provides everything for us. He told me before that when he is working he doesn't think he needs to help out around here. Everything is my job around here. I'm sorry if I'm coming across nasty today. I was up all night last night with the kids. My stepson decied to piss in his bed and he is seven. My daughter was in and out of my room wanting mama. So I had a rough night. As far as friends, I have one friend and it's hard to talk to her because when she's coming home from work I'm leaving for school. So we usually can't talk until the weekened. I usually talk to my mom and tell her how annoyed I get. Most women do that. I haven't talked to my mom in about two very long months and I am holding everything in. I'm just so tired. |
| posted by Kris on 12/18/2008 07:50 AM
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| I didnt take you as nasty and I am sorry if you took me as such..... Lupus is serious and pain I am sure is there.... I know this must be weighing on your mind and I wish I could saying something comforting to make you feel better..... When I said you have to let the extreme wish of order go I meant you cant be worried about things that happen and you have no control over like a 7 yo having an accident in bed or a daughter who wants mommies attention... you just do your thing and deal with it.... The levels of stress are not good for you or anyone around you.... is there anything you can do to eliminate it..? some reccomend meditation.. some a hobby.. some a warm hot bath with aroma therapy.... find a way it is importart because you are the one who handles it all.... |
| posted by ellen on 12/18/2008 11:23 AM
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I think that you have a wonderful husband. He works full-time and provides everything that your family needs. As far as him not wanting to do housework, most men do not know how to go about it. He probably is just as stressed as you are with everything. Ellen gave a few good ideas to eliminate some of your stress. One of my ideas is that maybe you could relax with your husband at night like watching a movie, reading, or a nice massage.
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| posted by Monica on 12/19/2008 02:52 PM
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| Thanks guys. I've tried talking to him about it. He says it was worse before I get home. I have no idea what happens when I'm in school. When I get home he walks out the door to go to work. We are honestly saying hi and bye and he is gone and I'm going to study. We don't have much time during the week. But I guess it'll be this way for a while. I hope he'll try a little harder after I talked to him yesturday. He told me that he does enjoy staying home with them when I'm gone which blows me away. He's never had to take care of a child by himself. And I think he is still learning how to do it. It's just annoying. I feel like he should have helped out before I started school. I don't think he is bad husband. I believe he is wonderful but needs to work on some things that everyone has to work on. So we will see. thanks again |
| posted by Kris on 12/19/2008 11:00 PM
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| As much as I dislike to say it, Ellen is right. Men are just different. My daughters father came over this week and said "you look tired, take a nap, I'll clean for you & watch the baby" (He's never like that, but he wants for us to get back together so that's why he's being Mr. Generous). So I think "Great" right? Go lie down thinking I'm going to have the best nap ever. I hear "Hey, the baby doesnt have any more diapers in the changing station. Do I open the new box?" I wanted to say "No you stupid dumb f%*k, the new box is only there for decoration" but I didnt, I said "yes, please" 10 minutes later: "Hey, do you have foil paper?" (Mind you he used to live w/ me so he could have looked in the drawer where I always keep the foil paper and have seen that Yes, I do have foil paper, but it's easier to wake me, right?) About 10 minutes after that I hear "Hey, so and so called you on the phone, but I told her you were napping. I wanted to tell you though in case it's important & I forget" So I wanted to say "If it was important, she would have asked u to wake me and as far as you forgetting, ever hear of a post it note moron!?" okay, but I said "okay, thank you. Can you please not wake me anyomre unless something's wrong w/ the baby or the house is on fire?" he said "ok, sorry" I know we want to say the first thing that comes to mind, but I strongly believe you can catch more flies w/ honey. Like the laundry on the bed thing. That would have frustrated me, but your husband may have thought he was doing you a great favor by just doing the laundry in the first place. I think you should just relax. I used to want a spot less house and then realized no one but me cared if it was spotless or not. As long as its sanitary, who cares? you have kids and people understand your house will never be the same again. |
| posted by April on 01/02/2009 07:18 PM
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| Ah, and someone once told me you couldnt pray for patience (or that you shouldnt.. I dont remember well) But I have and I honestly believed it worked! |
| posted by April on 01/02/2009 07:22 PM
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| lmao. april that was hilarious. I couldn't tell you how many times I go through that with my husband. I really believe they are stupid. The laundry on the bed i was like what the hell. But know I laugh about it because he was trying to help. But that pile was massive. I just couldn't believe he'd think I was going to fold them at 10:30 pm. I was blown away. Now I'm just trying not to scream when he asks stupid things. The other day he was looking for a box of cereal. I was like look where ALL the cereal has been over the past 4 years. And he got pissed and was SO angry the rest of the day. All over a box of cereal. It's just common sense they don't use. I'll never understand that. |
| posted by Kris on 01/03/2009 10:04 AM
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