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| Atheist, Agnostic, and Other Non-theistic Parents |
| Public online group |
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| Welcome to the group, Jenny. Thanks for joining us. I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on the poll. |
| Posted by Sarah Beth on 12/16/2008 01:49 PM
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Thanks! This is a great idea. My family is a bit mixed in this regard, so the poll didn't allow me to answer completely honestly. My husband and his family are Hindus, though my husband sees it more philosophically than theistically (is that a word?). My family (except my brother who became a Catholic when he got married) is Unitarian Universalist. I don't believe in God and haven't since I was a teen-ager. However, I do have a spiritual side. It's more focused toward a deep respect for the natural world and the goodness in people. I don't really fit any labels, and I don't practice any rituals or believe in the supernatural. I hope to be able to raise my children to respect both cultures and "religions" they come from- and to think and decide for themselves.
I just noticed that the ad on the side of this page is to a bible. How incredibly ironic.
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| posted by Jenny on 12/17/2008 01:27 PM
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How funny about the ad.
I was raised Catholic and my husband was raised Evangelical Christian. Both of us fell away from our faiths in high school as we were able to question things more and more. One of the things we had in common when we first met was our political and religious beliefs. (We are both Democrats too, but I am a lot more liberal than he is.) Anyway, I would like to say that I have a spiritual side as well, but I have grown away from that too. I have a strong scientific mind and feel that almost everything has a scientific and rational explanation.
My brothers have fallen away as well and my parents are no longer practicing but still believe in god. My in-laws are strong Christians and incredibly closed minded and judgemental. It was their reaction to my husband marrying me (they actually called me evil) that has brewed the discomfort and closed the lines of communication between us. My MIL and her mother are always "praying" for us when I speak to them on the phone and "worry about our souls". If our parents knew that we are atheists, both sets, it would disappoint them and hurt them, even though there is nothing to be hurt or disappointed about. If anything, they should be proud that they raised independent, free-thinking children who were able to come to their own conclusions based on all of the information they were given.
I got off point, I am sorry. I was trying get to that I basically agree with you. 4 years ago, when my son was born, I felt the same way about wanting my children to decide for themselves. Now, I am looking for a way to raise my children atheists. I have tried and tried to be open minded, but the more I learn and the more I see the craziness that masquerades as religious conviction, the more I want to make sure that my children and well informed and science-minded as well. I feel that they should study the world religions for knowledge, inspiration, and guidance, but in the philosophical sense.
Sorry for my rant, you can see that I started this group to be able express these thoughts. Thanks for sharing, Jenny. |
| posted by Sarah Beth on 12/17/2008 02:38 PM
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| My husband was a baptized and confirmed Catholic, still is if you go by church records and I grew up Baptist. My side is not open to any other beliefs and believes you will go to hell if you don't believe in god and Jesus. My husbands family is a little accepting, but we don't bring it up. They (my family) would try to get the fear of god into me if they knew and if that didn't work disown me and my son. I just love how they say god is love and you should love one another when they talk behind peoples backs and hate those who are different. I am also Bi, but would never tell my family in fear of what they would do to me. They say queers should never have a life and that they don't deserve to marry or have children. I know my uncle has harassed queers at his work and ruffed them up a bit too. So there are a lot things I don't tell them they are too crazy and dangerous to know the real me. |
| posted by Alisa on 12/17/2008 11:33 PM
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Alisa, I am so sorry to hear that you have to live with such hostility. It's a sad world we live in where people have to hide their true selves. I understand a little of what that must feel like. I've learned that it's best not to voice my opinions about anything around my mother-in-law. She's so disappointed that her son married a white woman that she takes all her hostility and stress out on me. I've always been seen by others as a "nice" person, but she seems to think I am intensely rude and basically the root of all that is wrong in her family. It's not exactly based on religion, but its a similar kind of intolerance. She is pretty terrified that I will turn her grandkids into non-Hindus. She'd be horrified to know that my husband agrees with me that they should be able to decide for themselves.
Sarah Beth, It's refreshing to hear others that think like I do, so I don't think of it as a rant. I am also very scientific minded. I used to be an Environmental Geochemist- before I became a teacher-which was before I became a mom. Anyway, I don't think that understanding the world through science precludes feeling spiritual. To me, its just a profound sense of amazement at what is possible. The basic natural laws are so very simple, yet they lead to such amazing things. There is nothing supernatural about it, and none of it takes "faith". The fact that everything is ultimately understandable through science is enough to inspire awe. |
| posted by Jenny on 12/18/2008 10:12 AM
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I hear ya on that, Jenny! I can't believe how awesome the world is! I am going to go, for the first time, to this church *gasp* across the street from my house. It's Unitarian Universalist (or the other way around--Universalist Unitarian--i can't remember). Anywho, I'm going because the sign outside has had me curious for three years. This Sunday they are talking about the Pagan roots of Christmas. They talk about all sorts of different religions and beliefs. I can't wait to learn. I'm very interested in finding out what all of these things are about. Unfortunately, my 13 year old son won't go with me. He was recently "saved" at a Baptist church when he went with his great grandmother. *insert sarcasm here* Terrrrrrriffffffic! I'm not going to make him go with me. It's his choice I guess. I just want him to know that there are other choices out there.
As far as your Hindu m-i-l, I feel for ya! I used to work with a guy who moved here from India with his parents and older brother. His mom would be so irrate when any woman would call to speak to him. It was always like she was on the defense to save him from our evilness. Hilarious! |
| posted by Anita on 12/19/2008 02:50 PM
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