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| Stay at Home Moms |
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I am new to this board and would like to say hello to all the stay at home Moms out there. I do have a question about something that has been bothering me. Please don't get me wrong...my love for my daughter is endless, but sometimes I feel like I am going to lose my mind. Before I had my daughter Sienna (only child), I worked full time. She was born in April 2008 and I wanted nothing more than to stay home with her. My biggest fear was missing her milestones, but now my fear is that if I go back to work no one will care for her as well as I do.
I feel guilty about wanting to go back to work, but I feel more guilty feeling like I need a life outside of my daughter and husband. Has anyone else felt this before? I was thinking of starting out part time to get us both used to being away from each other, and although I have been searching for work, I have found nothing. In a sense it is a relief and at the same time frustrating.
I must sound crazy right? Now I am thinking of trying to find a playgroup in my local area to get her familiar with other children and for myself so that I can remember what it is like to have some adult interaction with someone besides my husband.
So my question is...has anyone esle dealt with these emotions and if so what was it that you did to deal with it?
Thanks all and Happy Holidays!!
Sandy |
| Posted by Sandy on 12/12/2008 04:35 PM
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| yes your feelings are normal. most of us SAHM'S felt that way at some point. i found out i was pregnant with our first son in dec of 05. at the time i was working 6 days a week some time 18 hours a day. at the time i was on my already in supervisors training and climbing the latter. but me and hubby thought that it would be best for me to stay home with our child. the first months was great. but then i missed adult conversation. and i was the only one out of my friends who was married and had a new born. while they told me of there stories out and work problems all i had to talk about was my baby. while i love my kids, even to this day i miss my friends and adult conversation. my hubby doesnt understand that this house feels like a prision some times. so your feelings are normal. but only you can decide what is best for you and your child. as for me i still think it is best for me to stay home with my kids. you just might need to find a balance to help you out. go ahead and join a play group in your area. meet some other moms make new friends with people you have something in common with. maybe all the moms can go out one night with out the kids, if they are not already. |
| posted by Diyah on 12/12/2008 07:22 PM
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| Thank you. I just feel like every day is the same. I posted in another topic for playgroups. Now that the weather is getting cold it's hard to find things to do with such a young one. |
| posted by Sandy on 12/12/2008 07:36 PM
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This is so common and I wish you the best when figuring out what to do! I joined meetup.com and started getting involved with mommy groups, what a mental saver. I even found a girl I consider to be my "local bestfriend", we go shopping, get our nails done, and grab lunch together on the weekends, which is great since I was new to this city.
& I felt guilty at first but now I know I need to, sometimes I just take a day on the weekend to myself to hang out in the bookstore, cruise Target (without kids) its like a vacation!!! I also started remembering what I like i.e. dancing, scrapbooking, learning to bake, and I take time to do that.
You have this opportunity to do the most important job ever and you might as well enjoy it. There are pros and cons to being a SAHM and being a fulltime employee, but the pros defn outweigh being a SAHM... when all else fails turn the radio to Dr. Laura and she will remind you the importance of being a SAHM... sometimes I forget and start searching jobs but then I'll hear her advice it puts me back in my place ;)
It's not easy but definitely worth it!!!!
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| posted by Candice on 12/13/2008 12:13 AM
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| I definitely agree that you need a life outside of being a mom. When I first had my son, I was so depressed because all of my friends weren't even married much less considering having kids. I felt so lonely. Then I joined stroller strides and made some friends there. We got together three times a week to workout in the morning and would usually grab a coffee afterwards. When I moved about 30-45 minutes away to the city, I made friends on RaisingThem through a local group. I hope you have some luck finding friends. I was a speech pathologist before I had my son. I loved my job but I wouldn't trade anything for taking care of my son full-time! Good luck! |
| posted by Heather on 12/14/2008 05:53 PM
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| Same as for me too. I think the root of the problem is all about $$$. Anyway, I really hope Candice or someone is able to list more goodness of being SAHM. |
| posted by Jane on 12/15/2008 01:36 AM
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| meetup.com is a perfect idea candice. i just found SAHM group in my area on there yesterday. i plan on joining. sandy you should check out the site and see if there is on in your area. |
| posted by Diyah on 12/15/2008 11:50 AM
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