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| Stay at Home Moms |
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I am watching a friend of mines children for the past 9 weeks now. I said I would watch them because she works and her husband stays home and watchs the 2 kids (ones 3 and ones 21 months). Dad has some real health problems and had surgery and it would take him 10 weeks to get better, although he is back in the hospital for another surgery. He is a very sad situation and I really feel for her. Here is were my problem is she has a 3 yr. old boy who has a hard time listening and obeying. I have a 4 yr old and I am 27 weeks pregnant. Since I have watched her son he has broken my sons piggy bank, air mattress, toys on a daily basis, draw on my tile with crayon ( which took me 2 hrs. to get out). I have put him on time out but nothing really works. I can not keep my eyes off of him, so that means I can't do what I need to do during the day. I told her I can't do it after december. I was talking to her about the holidays and she asked me if I wanted to continue I told her I probly can only handle another week but will help until the end of the month. She them said I wish you liked my son. Which pissed me off. I said I do like him I am just frustrating at what has been going on. I am a strict mom and mom son doesn't touch things he is not supose to and respents his toys. I guess we have different parenting ideas. Everynight she comes her son runs away from her out the door, he has almost been hit by a car twice. I just am so upset by her comment and the facted that what her son does during the day doesn't matter. I just want to tell her bye. I have to be careful too because I go to church with her every sunday. Help! I just want my life and happy attiude back. Thanks!
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| Posted by Karolyn on 12/12/2008 10:21 AM
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| I feel for you situation. We also have more strict rules at our house, than most. When we have company over (other children) we simply tell them that in our house certain things are not allowed. If they want to do something that is not, we stop them and tell them they can do that at home or where ever they learned it. I also make the kids clean up their messes (to the best of their ability), we also won't let them pplay with toys if they have broken one. We will give them a book. When we go places and other children are doing things that we don't allow, we tell our children "I know timmy can do it, but we do not do that in our family" It usually works and very rarely do we have big problems.If she can't accept the help you have already given, then you have to let go. I know it is hard, but it has to happen for you to feel better. Hope this helps. |
| posted by Shanna on 12/12/2008 10:44 AM
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| I agree with Shanna, you need to tell her you just can't do this anymore. The stress is not good for any of you expecially being pregnant. Get your Happy Attitude Back!! :-) |
| posted by on 12/12/2008 11:20 AM
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| Thanks! I have taken away certain toys. I am going to stop. I guess I am just tired of the whole situation. Thanks for the advice. |
| posted by Karolyn on 12/12/2008 11:58 AM
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| Whoo! Handful! I was in a similar situation... it takes a lot of prayer, continue to be honest with the other mom, try to get out of the house as much as possible, and treat the other kid like your own, kids adapt, they will know you are not the one to play with. The 2 yr old girl I watched never listened to her mom, but did everything I told her to do, I disciplined her the same as my son but also smothered her with love when she did well too. But I did have to end it because it interrupted my schedule with my children too much, so I completely understand! |
| posted by Candice on 12/12/2008 12:51 PM
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| What a tough place you are in. These situations rarely work out if you do not establish rules and a firm timeline. You say that you go to the same church - are you a Christian, Karolyn? Take a step back and forgive your friend for her lashing out at you. She has 3 small ones (take your day and multiply it :>) and a husband who is in poor health and probably requires more care and attention now. So while your help has been as asset to her, she still is carrying a bit of a heavy load. Go back to her and let her know that you will honor your word and keep her son until month's end. Maybe you can give her a hand in other ways - a pan of lasagne, a bouquet of flowers or coupons to McDonald's for the kiddos. You need to mentally and physically tend to your needs, as well as your family. Remember the second commandment - love thy neighbor as thyself. It's so easy to love those who appreciate us, make life more enjoyable...it's when folks press in on us and treat us poorly that we really need to let our happy attitude come through. You have a good heart! Now get on with the Merry Christmas spirit :>) |
| posted by Kenni Raye on 12/12/2008 02:54 PM
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| Tell her you can't do it anymore for the risk of your baby and your health!! Don't risk your health or you unborn child for someone else.. It is her problem she needs to deal with it.. You aren't related so, oh well.. Church, well they would agree that your health and childs is important and you shouldn't risk anything.. I would say you know I will give you a week or two to find a new form a daycare, if takes longer say I am sorry, I just can't do this anymore.. Say the Dr. says so. Not your problem.. |
| posted by Suzanne on 12/12/2008 04:24 PM
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| i am in the exact situation exept her husband works and so does she. she cant afford to stay home because their pay checks combine barely covers the bills. she has five kids ( 10, 5,4, 1, and 8 months) i have two . a 2 year old and a 1 year old and i am 26 weeks myself. her 1 year old doesnt listen and as a result my child was picking up his habits. notice i said was. i still watch her kids 1 and 8 month year old but i told her for this to work i have us my disipline style. which for me is spanking. i love her kids but i get tired and with my belly getting bigger i needed to nip this behavior in the bud. at first i had to spank him all the time. but now i dont have to as much. he now respects me when i tell him no and knows the rules like my children. now im not suggesting that you spank someone elses child. spanking is a personal choice and should only be used as a last resort. but if you continue you do need to let her know that her son will have to learn cause and effect behavior in order to stay. if you use time out you may have top physically hold him there the first couple of times. or place him in a room with nothing in it for about 3 to 5 minutes for a punishment. it will be hard at first but he will get the hang of it. other wise let it go. so what you to go to the same church. people will always find something to talk about. no one or church is perfect. we are all human. just stand your ground and eventually it will pass. maybe you to can talk to a counselor at the church to see if you to can come to a common ground of displinary actions that you to both agree with. |
| posted by Diyah on 12/12/2008 07:42 PM
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