|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Single Parents |
| Public online group |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Hi all. Question. I am getting ready to take a new job that requires traveling, and they are willing to relocate me. I have toyed with the idea of moving closer to my daughter's father--an hour south of where we live now so that we can be closer for visitation purposes, help out with school, and daycare. Problem is that he travels over 90% of the time. He picks up my daughter typically one over night a week when it suits his schedule. He doesn't get to pick his schedule completely and it is sort of random, though he can bid and hope for a day off per request. I'm debating whether or not I stay where I am at or move closer with the hopes that he can possibly help out. He hasn't shown that he is reliable by any stretch of the imagination when it comes to a schedule. It is always all over the board and never predictable, and frankly, never will be. Do I take the chance and move us closer for the hopes that he picks up some slack even a tiny bit, or stay where I'm at and fiind a nanny/au pair or something? I need someone to help out with early mornings and early evenings because I may be late getting home from traveling to and from my job sites. Anyone got any good ideas or thoughts? Everyone tells me that if I move it has to be because I want to move and not to move for the sake that he actually will step up to the plate...that will just be a bonus if it does happen. I just feel I'm sort of stuck either direction and lean towards moving closer with just having a hope that he may help out. My other thoughts are moving closer to some friends...but sometimes that scares me too. Thoughts? |
| Posted by Cathleen on 06/13/2007 07:50 AM
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| Cathleen. Reading your post I get the impression you already know the right decision. You shouldn't pick up your life now and move just for hopes that your ex will pick up the slack. I think you already know that deep down it just probably wouldn't work out. Don't disrupt your life and the life your daughter knows now for something that may or may not end up being a good idea. If you want to move solely for the job offer being a good career move the kudos, but don't make plans around the ex they usually just end up being disappointing. Hope my blabber helps. |
| posted by Beth on 06/13/2007 01:52 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Hi,you should inquire rather job offer bonus or benefit for child care,,If your job paying more money than hire Mother's Helper or Nanny to assist with child care plus check out any after school programs in area....New Jerey local college child care center stays open from 7:30am-4:00pm,Afterschool program 4pm-10pm.to accomodate students and community....I am sure you approach your ex in past assist you in help raising your child.....As a single custodian parent we constantly making sacrifices . |
| posted by A on 06/13/2007 06:04 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Thanks for the thoughts. Its a tough call because before I moved he did see her a little more than now because it was convenient for him...I already had the daycare and he didn't have to do anything...I made it too easy for him actually. He is excited to have us move closer because of the ease it would be for him I know, but I just don't know. We have only lived in our house for a year now and we haven't grown attached to the community since my current job is a 2 hour commute each way for me now...so it isn't an attachment issue for me though we are starting to get situated with our house, church, and stuff. I just don't know what the answer is. I've looked into an au pair but they don't service my area since I live out in the sticks! Not too many people are around my town so that makes it tough too...all my friends are in varoius towns south closer to where my ex lives. The church I attend has a daycare program but it goes only from 6:30 to 6pm. That doesn't help me when I travel. I need someone who is there overnight. Not too many people are willing to do an overnight daycare. Anyone have ideas for other childcare alternatives..websites..where to look for a babysitter? I'm thinking of posting in the newspaper but I just don't know what the best solution is at the moment. Grrrr..too many decisions to make as a single mom... |
| posted by Cathleen on 06/14/2007 06:46 AM
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
| |  |
| |
|
|
|
