|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Parents of Toddlers |
| Public online group |
|
|
| |
|
|
Jacob is 16 months and has such a personality already, which is great and I love. The thing is, if he doesn't get his way he gets sooooooooo upset. He falls out, starts crying or wailing I should say. Its hard to get him to calm down sometimes and then I start to loose it. I know part of it is, is that he can't tell me what is going on with him or whats bothering him. I'm also pregnant, so its not something that my hormones can actually handle so I just walk away.
I was just wondering is anyone else dealing witht his? How do you deal with it? |
| Posted by Eva on 12/02/2008 09:39 AM
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| Hi. I'm a mother of a 20 month old boy and when this happens the first thing I do is to not give in to whatever it is that he wants that he can't have or do. Then I tell him I know that it's hard when you really want something and can't have it and that I'm sorry. Then I just distract him with something else that I know he likes to do or play with and that usually works. For instance, if he wants to go outside to play, and for whatever reason I don't want him to and he has a tantrum then I offer to play with play dough which is another thing that I know he loves and that usually works. Hope this helps. Sometimes we just have to let them cry it out a little too. |
| posted by Leticia on 12/02/2008 05:12 PM
|
|
|
|
|
I agree with Leticia, if my 20-m/o wants to do something that I can't allow, I offer an alternative (like if it's raining, and she is upset at not going outside, a tantrum might be cut short by offering an acceptable indoor alternative).
Like you Eva, I'm pregnant also, so I understand about how hard it can be, being this tired and dealing with a cranky, intense, only-somewhat-verbal person who hasn't learned patience yet.
I have noticed that my daughter has the most extreme & frequent tantrums when she's not at her 100%---like if she's teething, tired, sick, hungry.
She's getting harder to distract though-it used to be easy but now she remembers the thing she wanted that sparked the tantrum originally.
When all else fails, Daddy will chase her around and make her laugh, and sometimes that helps to burn some of that energy that she WOULD have used to fuel her tantrum.
Megan's pediatrician said when she has a tantrum, it's best to just walk away and ignore it, so she will realize THAT behavior does not get results. Obviously, make sure they are in a safe spot before doing so. |
| posted by Bethany on 12/02/2008 07:55 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| My son is almost 19 months old. He sometimes does this and we usually say "that's not a nice boy" and then essentially ignore him. I am pregnant too so I do not have the energy to use. |
| posted by on 12/02/2008 10:02 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Ok, so I can see I've been taking the wrong approach. The other day when he had a tantrum, I put him in the bed with me and told him "Jacob, your not being a good boy right now. Mommy loves you but you need to behave". I don't know if he understood but it seemed to make him sad more then anything and he cried for a bit. I told him I loved him but kept him in the bed with me until he calmed down and then I let him go. That whole ordeal just had me spent at the end of it all. For his next one I'll just walk away and let him work it out!!
Thanks all |
| posted by Eva on 12/03/2008 09:44 AM
|
|
|
|
|
I think that at 16 months, distraction is key. Try your hardest to remove him from the situation that's bothering him, and offer something different to appease him. It gets easier as their vocab. increases and they can express themselves more. I have a 2 year, 4 month old son and it's just now becomming a little bit easier to communicate / avoid meltdowns.
I feel for you - it is frustrating. Good luck.
My mom always says that stuff like this is why God made toddlers so darn cute...maybe she's on to something :) |
| posted by on 12/03/2008 10:40 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Hey Eva! I'm pregnant too and exhausted! My daughter is 20 months old and I've been trying to ignore the behaviors that cause fits. (This is what the pedi. recommended.) I've been doing it for 4 LONG weeks.... today was the first bright sign from it! It is working!!!!
She fell on the floor bawling today in front of company and I ignored her. I had to explain what I was doing to the adults but they seemed ok with it. Eventually after about 3 minutes.... she came over to me and gave me a hug and said "Sorry mommy!" I melted! I told her that she didn't need to cry and I would help her to find something that she could do. It worked!! She did this twice today! I don't know if she will get it tomorrow but I am praying she does. I'll keep you posted! |
| posted by Katie on 12/10/2008 08:39 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Katie, that sounds golden!!!! I've been ignoring Jacob as well. The fall outs aren't as frequent or as long as before! LOL! |
| posted by Eva on 12/11/2008 09:20 AM
|
|
|
|
|
| It worked again today! We may have found a keeper (at least for my daughter). We were at a playdate and it happened twice. . I think there will be alot more tantrums let go at playdates in the future after this success! They all have seen the progress in 4 weeks and no one can believe it.... however, I still would like them to just disappear completely before I will be satisfied. I'll let you know if that ever happens. |
| posted by Katie on 12/11/2008 02:43 PM
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
| |  |
| |
|
|
|
