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| First Time Moms |
| Public online group |
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I have a 19 month old son, and swore shortly after he was born that I was not having any more. He was a hard baby and I just did not want to go through that again. But everyone is telling me my second one will be just opposite of my first and I'm afraid he/she might be worse. Also, I have been having the feelings of wanting another one...until I really think about what I went through with my first one then I say i don't know. Do the memories of your first ever fade enough to have a second and when do they and when is the best time to have a second one?
Sherry |
| Posted by Sherry on 11/30/2008 06:46 PM
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Hi Sherry,
The best time to have another one is when you are ready, nobody can tell you that.
As for having another baby, I knew when my daughter was 5 min old that I would do it all again. My daughter is almost 20 months old and every once in awhile I think about the labor but I can really remember is seeing her, holding her, nursing her and watching my husband as she got him wrapped around her little finger. I enjoyed the time with my daughter but when she was about 6 months I knew it was about time to try agian but due to sercamstance we just stated trying in June.
I do know some one that said the same thing you are but her circamstances are differant than your. However her daughter is 2 and she is having another one but is done after this one.
Hope this helps and remeber only you can decide when the time is right. If you need to talk some more send me a personal message. Good luck.
Anne |
| posted by Anne on 11/30/2008 07:05 PM
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| My son is 11 months old now, and I said that same thing! It was the worst delivery ever...the worst 6 months of my life! I never slept I had post partum psychosis pretty much, was stuck without a vehicle!! Everything! I swore id never have another one! But....Im 7 weeks pregnant with number 2 now! Looking back, I can now remember the good things. Its so exciting at first, meeting a new baby for the first time!! And now that i have done it one time before, I am sooooo not afraid! All the anxiety of being a first time mom, is now "i've got this!! piece of cake" Ive been through the worst so I know I can handle anything this time around! AND, now my son will have some one to grow up with. Why cheat him out of that!! You will know when you are ready. 3 months ago, I was very adament about not having another, then boom, I was ready out of nowhere! Good luck! |
| posted by Christina on 12/01/2008 05:32 PM
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| I like to believe that God implements a sort of veil over our minds to help us forget the pains of labor and delivery and all the little (and not so little) annoyances of child-rearing. It makes having more children just as special as the first one. My daughter is 6 weeks old and I already want another. All the days I get frustrated get smothered away by her wide, gummy smiles and her sweet little coos. Ultimately it's between you, your spouse, and God. If you feel you're ready, go for it! |
| posted by Caryn on 12/10/2008 10:18 AM
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| I think only you and your husband/significant other can decide if you are ready. But, if you have any lingering doubts, I would wait until you are absolutely sure you are ready. I'm sure with your son being 19 months old that people have started asking you about it since a lot of people like to have their kids spaced 2 years apart. But, if you are still not ready, it won't hurt your children to be spaced farther apart than that. I say until then, enjoy your time with your 19 month old and don't let anyone pressure you to have another baby until you are good and ready. :) And, if you wait a while longer, you won't have 2 in diapers which I've always thought was a good thing. ha.ha. So, there are always pros and cons of waiting/not waiting. Good luck. |
| posted by MaLeah on 12/11/2008 04:34 PM
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#1 had many pros & cons, #2 had many pros & cons... I thought I was certainly done... and now I have my fingers crossed in hopes that #3 is brewing!
If you are an overall "have it together" person, I don't think you'll ever regret bringing another one into the world. It's simply amazing! Some couples zero is ideal, some one is ideal...
I knew after my son I was willing to do it in hopes it would be easier. It was easier but not easy! & even so, now I have the experience of knowing its worth the sacrifices. My son is 2, my daughter is 8 mos :)
Best wishes! |
| posted by Candice on 12/11/2008 04:46 PM
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Hi Sherry,
I think I'm weird because I vividly remember the excruciating pain of labor. My first came hard and fast in about 3 hours start-to-finish, with barely a pause between contractions - and back labor to boot. I still remember how it hurt to pee for 2 weeks because of a tear I had, and etc etc. Labor was intense and the most horrifying pain of my life (until the epidural).
Having said that, I think when my daughter was about 2 months old, I knew I had to have another one!
I breastfed her so my periods were suppressed for most of the first year, and we became pregnant just after her 1st bday.
There will be pros & cons with any age spacing for your kids.
I still have days where I wonder how I"m going to manage with 2 kids under 2 in the beginning. My daughter is very intense-high energy and very attached, so I'm a little nervous about juggling both their needs. But we are really excited and it is what we want. |
| posted by Bethany on 12/12/2008 10:57 AM
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