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| Musicians Wives/Girlfriends |
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Hello., I am having a bad week. I think the band life is getting to me. just Little about the band... My husband plays in an Maine Band. The band is not that big ,but its getting bigger. He is pretty busy every weekend. No vacations ect.
Well my issues have been, I work at night. and my husband pays out and I have heard he is dancing(slow Dancing with other girls alot younger than me. We mad rules and No slow dancing,( Slow dancing was one of them). I do trust him. but its real hard. I have been hearing alot of stuff
I talked to him about this and he tells me its all part of the gig. he has to be out there to get the fallowing.
Am I being jealous for no reason, I dont know, but I have been feeling left out. I know I shouldnt be feeling this way, My husband and I have been married for 20 years, but he has only been the lead singer/ guitar player, of this band for 4 years.
I just want to know if I should be feeling jealous left out, or just I dont know but I have been really worried lately. I dont know why . its just that way. does anyo0ne ever feel this way. or do you think I have a married issue arising.
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| Posted by GALE on 11/25/2008 10:43 AM
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First of all you have much more experience being married and dealing with a marriage relationship than I do, because I have no experience. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. And although we have our problems from time to time, I could never imagine having to make "rules" about no dancing with girls....that is just kind of a given.
You have every reason to be feeling jealous and uneasy. I think your husband needs to get his priorities straight and realize that being in a sucessful band does not mean soliciting himself to the young girls who come to flirt. Yes he needs to be friendly and welcoming, but that can be done in a classy way by those band members who happen to be married or just in a dating relationship.
I have my doubts from time to time if being in a relationship with a possible (in the future traveling) musician, but those doubts are never about trust issues and whether or not he'll cheat. The doubts I have are about whether or not I will be able to stand him being gone for so long.
Anyways, good luck and remember to talk to your husband about your feelings and thoughts. communication is the best key to success in all relationships.
Rowan~ |
| posted by Cara on 11/25/2008 11:13 AM
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| Hi Gale. My husband and I have been married for 8 years, and he has been in a band since I started dating him 11 years ago. He has been touring full time for about 5 years now. Regardless of whenther we are out with friends at home, or on the other side of the world...it is understood that we do as if the other person is out with us. In other words, if you wouldn't feel comfortable to do "it" in each others company...then obviously there is a reason that "it" should not be done. I understand that there is an element of showmenship and playfulness that comes along with the entertainment industry. However, there is clearly a line that needs to be drawn or else resentment can creep in and be quite a destructive force on a relationship. Open communication and honesty are key to a marriage that endures separations. I wouldn't call it jealousy...but respect for boundaries. Good luck. |
| posted by Dawn on 11/25/2008 01:38 PM
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Thank you all for the help... It has been truely helpful. I have been talking to him. and he said he was truely wrong. (he did not realize that this was causing me so much worrie.) We have been talking and I think things are going to be ok. Like I said thank you all so much for being here. I really think this is great that we can all be here for each other.
thank you again. |
| posted by GALE on 12/03/2008 10:27 AM
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