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| Need to Vent Group |
| Public online group |
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| I really wish there was a room where you could just go and scream at the top of your lungs or wail out crying. It doesn't seem there's a safe place for emotions. . I just want to find peace with my son. I think I'm more sad than angry actually. I have decided after raising my son for 15 years, some of those as a single mom, that it's time he went to Arkansas to live with his Dad who's authority my son respects more than mine. What an absolutely heart wrenching decision this has been since I will now be 1100 miles from my son. Brandon is getting into drugs, failing school, and not following rules. He has pretty much hijacked his xbox 360 so that we can't take it from him. He won't tell me where it is. Can you believe that!!!??? He's 6'4" and I am 5'4" . What can I possibly do besides demand the xbox and take away what's left? He still hasn't turned it over and has no intention to. I have had to admit that I have lost control of my son. |
| Posted by Lori on 11/18/2008 07:41 AM
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I dont have any experience in that department yet, as all of mine are still small children. . but I know that must be hard for you to admit. I am hoping thats not something I have to go through. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to send him so far away, when you are used to knowing everything thats going on. Its hard for me when my children go to their fathers house for the day, and I have to ask a million questions about what they ate, how much, when they napped, etc. .I know its going to be hard, but if you feel that he will respect his father and do better there, then it will probably be the best thing for everyone.
A friend of mine had to do the same thing with her son. He only stayed with his father for like a year and came back, but then she ended up sending him to a military school of some sort. . Im not really sure if that helped much, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I know it will be hard but think about the long run. .hopefully he will turn out to be a better person, and productive member of society.
Sorry for rambling. . |
| posted by Amy on 11/18/2008 08:54 AM
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| Hi.ihave 6 kids.from 20 down to 7.i can tell u that teens are very hard.and its also a hard age for the teen.they go thru so many changes.with my kids what ive been doing is alot of talking and trying to stay one step ahead of them.they dont go out unless i know where and who.sometimes i still talk to the parents.my kids hate it.but they know mom is watching! my daughter tells me the stupid choices her friends make so i take advantage of that.and ask her what shes learning from them.im strict about school.below a c.and i take away friends cell phones.everything fun.if they threten to run then i say theres the dooor! your son knows he can walk all over u.so he does.u should have tough love with him.who cares about the ebox.he cant use it without the tv.so take the tv.and anything else.think hard before sending him away.u can never take that back.also try family couseling.if it were me id strip everything out of his room but a mattress.id go to every class with him.until he can straighten his ass out.good luck. |
| posted by amanda on 11/18/2008 11:56 AM
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| I can totally relate has a raised my brother from 17 to 20. I went to the school to see what help they could give. After several phone conversations and meetings, we decided it would be his best interest to go to an alt. school. This school was great!!! All staff had background in some type of social work. Yes it was a big adjustment for him, but he is grateful for the time he had with these people. And I got some of his respect back. I will tell you that the kids are searched everyday and every time they go in and out of the school. So, no drugs in school. I was met at the door and walked in every time I visited; this was to protect me incase any child was acting out. Please ask about this before sending him off. I was ready to my brother anywhere as I was sick of everything and trying to raise a 1 yr old as well. I hope this helps. Good luck. |
| posted by Lisa on 11/18/2008 09:57 PM
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| as a parent I can say I belevie you are doing the right thing when you say you are conssidering sending your teenage son to live with his dad for the reasons stated above.. Listen you didnt fail and when you get that idea out of your head you will see i am telling you what is true.... Our kids have personality traits of there own... I dont know what led your son to drugs but i can say it is common in todays society... My situation with a teenager is my daughter who absolutely is a straight focussed child.. dont ask me how but her own personality trait led her to be this way....I think you are doing the right thing for your son.. to remove him from his environment may be a better thing.. but, it can also be the same thing for him 1100 miles away with his dad... |
| posted by ellen on 11/18/2008 11:42 PM
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| I just want to thank everyone who took the time to respond to my entry about my teenage son. this was my first entry and I am grateful. I just wanted to let you know that a lot of the advice I was given like trying counseling, taking everything away except for the mattress, and drawing from his friends' bad choices are all things we have done. I would never consider sending him to his Dad's if I hadn't exhausted everything I could think of. I have even gone to school with him and sat in every class. He hated it. He thinks I'm too strict because I always have to know where he is and I won't let him go off just anywhere even if all the other kids are. I do take great care to always know where he is. I loved all the ideas you guys sent out there and I'm always open for more ideas. I am still walking around like someone has blown a hole through the middle of my soul because I know the time is comming near when Brandon will have to go to his Dad's in Arkansas. For all the moms whose kids are still little: No matter how old they are or how big they get, they will always be that little baby that you sang to in the middle of the night. Thank you again for the support. |
| posted by Lori on 11/19/2008 07:19 PM
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