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| Need to Vent Group |
| Public online group |
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| My dad got remarried when I was 10 and my step mom has two kids a daughter who is 27 and a son who is almost 23. Throughout their marriage my stepmom and stepsister have always been hateful towards me. My dad and I are super close so this has been a source of frustration but something I've dealt with. Once I started dating my now husband and we were discussing marriage. They started talking more and more behind my back and even to where I would hear things they said. My step mom would say that he would never marry me and that if we did get married it would never last. (neither of her kids are dating or have prospects) She was jealous of my husband because he and my dad have a lot in common and my dad took the time to get to know him. My stepbro on the other hand likes to party and has nothing in common with my dad so they don't do alot together. She started saying mean things about my husband while we were engaged. A month after we got engaged we got pregnant and were blessed with our son. Both my step sister and step mom stepped up their talk and hatefulness. Ignoring me when I was around or even talking about me when I was in the next room. I talked to my dad about this and he said they've always been like this deal. It really bothered me especially them talking about my unborn child and future husband. Theres a different in trying to hurt me with stuff about me but don't go into my family. I hold a lot against them and then when we got married my stepmom wouldn't let my dad take any pics with my mom so I have no family pics and my step sister invited people I didn't know to my wedding and brought extra people to my rehearsal dinner and didn't rsvp to either. She started writing really mean and childish things on her facebook so I unfriended her to avoid that stuff and she went to her mom and they went to tell my dad. I want to put the competition stuff behind me that we were constantly in and it's time to become adults. I'm having a hard time getting over the hurt and anger, but they have nothing I want and I'm happy with my life. They were part of the reason I moved away from my hometown to my husbands across the US. My stepmom even through a fit and started crying at my rehearsal because things weren't done her way. We've tried to move on and grow up...but they are still saying really mean and rude things to people and trying to compare my son to other kids and saying how behind etc he is. He's not behind in anything and he's smart and cute. I'm so frustrated that my dad will do nothing and how these two act. I don't want them to have anything to do with my son when we go visit...It just makes me upset that people won't do the adult thing and get over stuff. |
| Posted by on 11/15/2008 09:30 PM
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| Although I don't have the problem now I had the same issue w/ my stepmother growing up and on until I was in my early twenties. She was jealous of my relationship with my dad and constantly said mean and hurtful things about me and to me. The sad thing is I finally came to the realization that my dad is only human and stuck. He loves me and in an ideal world his children, adult or otherwise, should come first but when faced with the idea of growing old alone most people are willing to do anything to avoid that. Even alienate their children. Do what you can to maintain a relationship with your father but make it clear that you will not allow your step mother and sister's poison enter your son's life. Make the best of it and just do what you can to raise a wonderful child. If ever there was a truism heard on the playground it is this-- "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." :) |
| posted by Beth on 11/15/2008 09:40 PM
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First I want to say I am really sorry that you have to go through this, some people just never grow up. And I also want to say that I agree with Beth, stick and stones.... Even though the words do hurt, just ignore them. besides nothing makes them madder. My fiance's step mother is the same way. when she doesnt get her way she starts acting like a jerk, she was talking behind my back to my fiance's mother about how i never clean my house and it's always a mess. And then she just shows up at my house un-announced and then starts telling my daughter to call her grandma. my fiance has 4 syblings, none of them ever come to visit their father because of her. (they live in VT, we live in CT). some people just never grow up.
It is really sad that what they are doing is interfering with your relationship with your father, i guess all i can say is that you need to make the best of a bad situation. and if your son has less contact with your father because of your step family, then he can only blame himself.
Lastly I just want to say, Good for you! its not always easy to be the bigger person, I know. but you have obviously been the adult in the situation, i say just keep it up. what comes around, goes around, ya know? |
| posted by Becky on 11/15/2008 11:39 PM
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| ;) |
| posted by April on 11/17/2008 08:37 PM
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