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Need some help
Ok so I have a serious issue that I need help with. My husband has 3 girls from a previous marriage and is going through this way prolonged and nasty custody battle with his ex. I have been asked, well ok not really asked but ordered by the judge to participate in therapy with my husband and his ex. I feel bad, but really I don’t want to go because I don't feel like this therapist is going to really listen to what I think. I guess my problem with that is that I am good enough to take care of the kids when they are sick i.e. being mom, but I am not good enough to make decisions concerning the girls. Please don't get me wrong I love them with all my heart and there isn't anything that I wouldn't do for them, but I almost feel like I am wasting my time. I am not sure how to handle what is going on. I know this whole situation has been hard for everyone involved especially the girls, and I wish I could take it all way for them. I have found that in the past few months this custody battle has impacted my marriage too, and I am afraid that it is too late to try to put it back together.
I guess what I need is for someone to put things into perspective for me. I know as a step parent that I have no control over what happens with my poor little girls, what I want to know is how I can know more about them then their bio parents and my opinion not matter? Please HELP ME it’s making me crazy! Anyone have any thoughts?


Thanks for listening!

Jennifer
Posted by Jenn on 11/07/2008 01:50 PM

 
As a step mom and a therapist, I can understand how fustrated you would be. On a personal level I can not imagine being brought into a battle between my husband and his ex wife. I would suggest that you be upfront and honest with your husband about your feelings and be up front and honest in therapy. Tell them from the beginning that you would do anything to help the children, however, you feel that your opinions won't be listen to or taken seriously. I have to say that if the therapist is worth anything they should listen to what you have to say. If the three of you came into my office I would be most interested in your thoughts. You are a little more objective, and probably have more accurate insight as to what is going on. I wish you the best of luck and hope you give the therapy a chance:)
posted by Lisa on 11/07/2008 03:40 PM

 
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