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| Step Families / Blended Families |
| Public online group |
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| Hey there! I am here to get some advise on how to deal with my step daughters dual behavior! Does any one else have a kid that is great at your house and just mean and nasty when they are with their other parent? If so how do you handle it? |
| Posted by becky on 11/06/2008 04:14 PM
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| HI! I have a similar situation! its reallllly weird! she is a ROYAL B when she is with her mom (they fight all the time, I am talking SCREAMIN) but yet when she comes to my house, she cries cause she misses her and calls her every 3 hours...The only way I can deal with it is to worry about what she is doing in MY house. Cause honestly that is the only behavior I have control over...I mean how much parenting can I possibly do in 4 days a month! Sorry, But I hope it helped a little! |
| posted by gina on 11/20/2008 08:32 PM
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| thanks Gina! I agree... I can only worry about what happens under my roof! I guess I wish her behavior with us was the way she was all the time! We have her 50/50 so I just feel like we are going to have major plroblems on our hands if she can't figure out which kid she is! I guess as long as she doesn't act that way here. I will never allow my son (or future children) act like that. I wish I could smack her mom and tell her to wake up! Her mom is one of those mom's who thinks it's more important to be a friend than a mom! |
| posted by becky on 11/20/2008 09:19 PM
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| ooh Becky! you can I could have some serious chats! My stepdaughters mom is soo interested in gettin her A & F clothes and the newest gadgets without checking them out first! we can't control the "moms" it sux but there is nothing we can do about it! I HATE IT! |
| posted by gina on 11/20/2008 09:28 PM
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| Sounds like we have a lot in common with our steps! Her mom is the same.. She never has to wait for anything! She says she wants it and her mother or grandmother(mom's mom) go out and immediately get it for her! I tell my husband all the time that she is going to have a rude awakening when she moves out onto her own and realizes that life doesn't hand you everything! And her mom gets upset that we don't go out and get her all sorts of stuff, or take her to concerts or movies all the time! Well hello, if you do all these things with her (even on school nights.. YIKES) then what is left for us to do... And not to mention this, I need more support because all her stuff is more expensive.. Well stop buying her everything under the sun! Example... She has over 100 webkinz... Tell me how that is responsible parenting! And her mother does not cook so they eat out every meal! She misses school all the time because they can;t wake up in time to get there so she lets her stay home! and she is always sick!!! Her mom is a nurse. You would think she would use some common sense.. As in unless you are throwing up, pooping or have a fever you are going to school! Nope not her mom! Her excuse is, well it's different when it's you kids! Right but not so different you have to turn into an idiot! I could go on and on! I guess the worst part is that her mom and I actually get along pretty well. I try really hard to be good and not say things that I shouldn't to her mom! But when they are in my house I don;t hold my tongue. Example... My stepdaughter hit her mom a few months ago when they were sitting on my living room couch... All her mom said was owww that hurt.. Are you kidding me! I told my step that she was not allowed to do stuff like that and that she couldn't hit her mom or anyone else when in my house! And she does stuff like that all the time! |
| posted by becky on 11/21/2008 08:05 AM
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Becky,
You and I are gonna be BEST FRIENDS! you don't understand what a breath of fresh air you are to me! SERIOUSLY! I feel like no one understands what I got through and yet you sound exactly like me!
the "ex" picks and chooses when she wants to be a parent, when its convenient for her......she lets my step go out on school nites all the time...forget a set bed time! HA! and dinner is sometimes sandwiches from 7 11
I think the reason they are good for US is that there is more stability maybe? I dunno! but its good to talk to you! thanks so much! |
| posted by gina on 11/21/2008 11:35 AM
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| I mean, I don;t mean to sound like I am perfect because I am very far from it but I feel like I am a pretty good mom. I have been her step mom since she was 3 and now I have one that is all my own. I know the mistakes we have made with her from our side and am not going to repeat them! I feel like we should do more with her but sometimes I think I only feel that way in order to compete with her mom! Is that bad? Her mom is always making decisions about her activities like she bowls in a league each week, then she also takes guitar lessons.... Which we had no say in... At 8 yrs old her mom's family bought her an electric guitar and amp and want us to fork over 20 a week for lessons.. We had no say, and we already pay for bowling! We told her mom we would continue to pay for bowling because she loves it but we would only pay for 1 $20 lesson per month because we couldn't afford anymore! Like we are made of money! I quit my job to stay home with our son for 2 reasons: so someone else wasn't raising him and because we would be paying = to what I was making so why bother working! Sometimes I feel like I am banging my head against a wall! UUGGHH~~ |
| posted by becky on 11/21/2008 01:38 PM
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