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| Parents of Teens |
| Public online group |
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I am a mother of an 18 yr old who is getting ready to start a new job.
Just came back home to live with me. She is very verbal and will not let me
talk always is dictating to me. I am trying to find a therapist. They promise you they will call you back and when the time comes they don't.
I love when they say they can help too. I will try calling again.
But I am down and out over this. Can someone help me. I feel alone and would like to communicate about this. I have listened to everything the therapist told me but my daughter has not tryed at all with this situation.
Can not understand where she wants me to fit in. With helping even though she does not think she needs it probably. But I guess I need all the help I can get and I am looking. and asking. thanks Carolyn |
| Posted by Carolyn on 11/02/2008 08:17 PM
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Your 18 year old daughter came home to live with you and is dictating your life? She is not trying what the therapist says to do? Sounds like there needs to be some tough love going on but I am sure I don't know the whole story.
Keep the faith |
| posted by Charity on 11/02/2008 09:07 PM
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| I hope you aren't doing what she dictates! It's very frustrating to have a family member who needs to change but won't even try. Perhaps the therapist can work with you and your feelings of powerlessness in this situation. You can't make your daughter shut up, but you don't have to let her run your life. And if she isn't compliant to what house rules you believe are important, she is 18 and you can kick her out (I know you don't want to but sometimes situations come to that). "Can not understand where she wants me to fit in." That needs to be decided on the needs of BOTH parties, not just daughter's. She may just want you to be room and board, but that rarely works out when kids move back home. Even when I was 30 and moved in with my parents for a short time, there were common courtesy ground rules, and even still some parenting going on (it doesn't stop when they get grown, you know!). Anyone you live with is responsible to work out ground rules with you. If she won't, maybe she doesn't need to be there. |
| posted by Kelly on 11/03/2008 08:19 AM
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| I sounded very harsh there, but when it comes to anyone else, especially a child, dictating to me, I get a little upset! |
| posted by Kelly on 11/03/2008 08:21 AM
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| I called the therapist. Left another message. I spoke with my daughter today. She is visiting with her dad. Babysitting her half sister. But the step mother wants her to keep everything neat. So I said to her oh you listen to your step mother who did diddly squat for you all these years but when I come home from work and see nothing I asked done and you in a bad mood with me being intolerable this is not exceptable. Then she said she has wash I said you do it there. Do not bring it home here. The dad promised to buy her sneakers for this new job she is supposed to start they need to be all black. She was busy with friends. I hope for her sake she gets them. They keep dumping and I am so fed up with it. She really needs to grow up. I am only one parent and if she does not listen to me. She is going to get mixed messages from all the other grandparents that want to baby her in a pathetic way. and get not love out of that. It is stupid and sick. I am so mad right now because when I think of this mess I really can not fix it. I try to help but if she does not listen to me. What then? Disgusted... |
| posted by Carolyn on 11/03/2008 05:09 PM
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Try reading the book Boundaries. It will help you to see when to say no and how to stop others from crossing your boundry lines. There is also a Boundaries for Teens, if you can get your daughter to read it.
good luck |
| posted by deborah on 03/24/2009 01:13 PM
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