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| Stay at Home Moms |
| Public online group |
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| My name is Wendy Jordan. I have been a mom for 17 months now and the whole time I've been a stay at home mom. I know how it feels to think that there isn't anyone out there going through the same thing. It is nice to know that there are others who do the same thing day in and day out. It's like a job outside the home but we do have more freedom. I'm sure there are some daddies out there who think that the moms who stay at home have it made but that is far from true. If anything we seem to be more busy doing things from early morning to late at night while our counterparts come home from there "jobs" and sit around not doing much in the evenings. I know it sounds like I'm putting down dads but I guess I get a little frustrated when my husband does that and I hardly ever get any time to just sit back and relax because I'm always taking care of our daughter. I'm sure there are others moms out there who are going through the same knid of thing. Thanks for letting me vent a little. |
| Posted by Wendy on 11/02/2008 12:42 PM
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Hi Wendy,
I know exactly how you feel....my hunny works outside of the home and works very early in the morning so he's home early in the afternoon but he just sits in front of the tv and then he's asleep before either of my 2 babies( 20 months and 5 months) are in bed. It drives me nuts!!! and he is always saying how easy it is to stay at home with the kids!! and not only do I take care of the kids and the house we have a home job as well which I do everything for. I've been thinking my hunny is the only man that's like this so thank you for sharing and letting me vent back to you! |
| posted by Virginia on 11/02/2008 01:27 PM
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LOL...Funny. I honestly think it's a man thing. We are a family of six. 14, 10, 8 & 2 years old. I am a stay at home Mom as well and my husband is in the Marines.
I feel like a single Mom most of the time trying to keep things in order and organized. I always play around with my husband and tell him that it must be nice to be a part time dad.
Don't worry, when I get worn out, he gets an ear full and knows it, I usually take off every so often to get a break. He then gets to experience a little taste of being a single DAD.
Make sure you ladies take time for yourselves. We all need our Me time. |
| posted by Glasel on 11/02/2008 06:14 PM
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| I'm also a stay-at-home mom but this mom has 9-5 hours just like daddy. I think partly my husband is so involved when he gets home because I basically leave it up to him. I leave the room the baby is in and it's up to him to pick up the slack. I always tell him that if he had a human being hanging off of him while he was at work he wouldn't be able to move after noon much less 5 PM. So, he feeds my son his dinner, takes him for a walk, gives him a bath, and puts him to bed. It is my sons' "daddy time". We started early on though since I was in the hospital after my son was born and my husband was doing it all at home. It is so important early on to get your husband involved (so easy for men to get in a bad rut). |
| posted by Heather on 11/02/2008 07:03 PM
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| I'm really glad it isn't just me going through the "lazy husband" thing!! He does do things with our daughter but I have to do most of the work. One other thing that bothers me is that my husband refuses to give our daughter a bath. He thinks that it is wrong for a dad to give his daughter a bath. If Belle was a boy he wouldn't have a problem at all. I think this is odd. What does everyone else think? |
| posted by Wendy on 11/02/2008 09:36 PM
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| I also understand the part time dad thing. My husband had a job that required him to stay gone for at least a week at a time depending on how far the job was from home. Now he is going to start trucking so he will be gone again most of the week. Right now he has a more 9 to 5 job so he is home every night which is great for Belle because she gets to spend more time with her dad. Even though he is at home more he still doesn't help out as much as I'd like but we are working on that. |
| posted by Wendy on 11/02/2008 09:41 PM
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Ladies, my husband and I have been married going on 11 years and I have to retrain him everytime he comes back from being gone for so long. We've made our marriage 50/50 even though sometimes it feels like 60/40.
I do "everything" from 5:30am - sometimes to 6pm Monday - Friday. He takes the kids a bath at night and cleans up after we've eaten dinner. We have three girls and he has bathed everyone of them until they turn 5. There is nothing wrong with a Dad bathing his girls just until a certain point.
Weekends I'm off unless I choose not to be...=)
That's his turn to cook and take care of the kids. I clean on Sundays cause I hate the way he does things. I tolerate it during the week and evenings even though to me it's half ass work.
I pick my battles with him. It was a rough first 3 years of marriage because I felt like I was his maid, caretaker and babysitter 24/7. I struggled so hard to make him understand that he finally got it. At that time we only had 1 child, now we have 4. He now understands what I go through, even though on certain occassions he tends to forget (when his friends are over and when the game is on). But I always make sure that I refresh his memory so that he won't take what I do for granted.
He knows that my "Job" is 24 hours, 7 days a week with no paid vacations and no sick time off. I've noticed that during the years he has learned how to appreciate me and shows it. Sometimes on random occasions he tells me how much he loves me and appreciates me. I've taught him that a little gratitude and self acknowledgement goes a long way and is much appreciated. I do the same in return.
It's good to vent, but don't bash the husbands cause we married them for some reason? LOL
Just venting too with a little advice. |
| posted by Glasel on 11/02/2008 10:49 PM
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| We have to think for our husband too. They have to work hard for the family. They too get very tired when they get back home from work too. My husband when he reached home, he will call my children, hug and kiss them. My children love him very much. They always looking forward to see him home at 7 pm. After dinner, he will start to look after the children until they fall asleep. While I get some rest by reading a motivational book or catch some news on tv or make quick phone call to my friends. On weekends too, he will take care and spend time with the children full day. Yes, occasionally, I feel like a maid when I am very tired or sick, especially when its near to my monthly period. I always feel that working in the office is better than staying at home looking after the children and doing housework. I feel so miserable. Everyday, whenever I have such feeling, I will always text message to my husband who will than replied with a comforting words. I thank God that I have a caring and understanding husband. |
| posted by Jane on 11/03/2008 02:25 AM
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| I guess it takes a few years to really become nsync with your husband! We have been married for almost three years so I have a long way to go. He still considers me staying at home cooking, cleaning, taking care of Belle my "job." I hate when he words it that way because it kind of makes me feel worthless when it comes to having a job outside the home. Like I'm not smart enough to have a job and make a living like he can! I know these are my fears talking because sometimes I think that when it is time for me to go back to work I won't remember how to work for and with others. And for the record I'm not "husband bashing" I just needed to vent and it was nice to hear that others have the same type of "problem" that I do right now. :) I think my husband is slowly starting to realize how hard it is for me to be at home all of the time with little adult time or time to myself. Since he is home every night right now he is starting to get a taste of what my life is like day in and day out. He is starting to appreciate all of the things I do for him and he is even starting to help out more around the house. |
| posted by Wendy on 11/03/2008 01:29 PM
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| I know how you feel my fiance works 7 a.m to 3 pm but in order for me to stay home overtime is a must so sometime 5 pm sometimes 7pm its very stressful and with no family or friends help its a load like now my 4 and a half month old is on my lap kicking |
| posted by Heather on 11/04/2008 07:11 PM
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| Do not forget that I have twins (2 years 6 months old now) to look after without any help. I cook, clean the house and look after my twins with love everyday. I do it all by myself. My husband is on company business trip for two weeks now and he will be back next tuesday, 11 Nov. The only time I feel frustrated is when my children are disobedient and when my heart is longing to go back to work to earn regular income. I quit my managerial position job last year just to look after my children. Everyday I pray and thank God that He gives me a pair of lovely twins, a boy and a girl. Just remember those who try very hard to conceive but they failed. I think we should all try to stop feeling down. We should remain joyful always. When you feel that you are so stressful just talk to your husband. I know sometime they may not understand your feeling. Just continue talking to them. Surely you be fine again. |
| posted by Jane on 11/04/2008 08:36 PM
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