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| My son is 5 months old and averagely sleeps 5 hours overnight and on good days (very rarely) 6 hours. I asked his pediatrician about how many hours should a six months old baby sleeps overnight and was told 11-12 hours. Is this at all realistic average? Do most babies really sleep that long overnight? In addition, he always gets up in the middle of the night for a feeding and was told once he hits 6 months, we need to stop feeding him and let him cry it out. Otherwise, he will never sleep overnight until he is 3 years old! I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, and why can't I get him to sleep past 5 hours? |
| Posted by kathy on 06/08/2007 10:07 PM
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Kathy, you are not doing anything wrong. All babies are different and what your son's pediatrician told you is an average, not necessarily what every baby will do. There are things that you can do to help your son sleep longer. Follow the link below for some helpful tips.
http://www.helium.com/tm/250628
It will take some time and patience to teach your son to soothe himself back to sleep, but stick with it and he will get there. |
| posted by Marcia on 06/08/2007 10:57 PM
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| Hi Kathy. My son is 4 months old and he usually sleeps an average of 6-7 hours every night. However, he does wake up at least once for a feeding as well. Sometimes, he wakes up more than once and he doesn't consistently sleeps all night. From what I have read, babies this age should sleep 12 hours per day, including naps during the day. If your son gets enough sleep during the day, he might not need to sleep as much during the night. Every baby is very different and you shouldn't feel like you are doing anything wrong. My pediatrician told me that it's very normal for babies at this age to wake up at night and 6-7 hours of sleep is pretty good for that age. She said once he's ready to sleep all night, he will. My son used to wake up every two hours until he turned 3 months. I've noticed that he's doing better as he gets older and I'm sure so will your son. |
| posted by Monique on 06/08/2007 11:04 PM
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Kathy
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. If so than I am doing it wrong also. My 8 month old has been getting up on the hour for quite some time, my ped said the same thing. But instead of CIO I am working through the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley and it seems to be working. It is not a quick fix, but after about 20 days he is only getting up 1-2 times and sleeping 4-5 hours stretch and the two hour stretch, we have a long way to go but this is so much better than getting me up 7-8 times. Are you breastfeeding? I am and this seems to be common with nursed babies. It is natural to them, just doesn't naturally fit into our schedules. |
| posted by susan on 06/09/2007 11:26 AM
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IMy daughter is 6 months old and I just started letting her cry a little at night the first time she goes to sleep. Now she sleeps around 5 hours for the first stretch til she wakes up. Before that she was waking up every two hours and it was exhausting. People told me that she "should" be sleeping through the night by now.
After her five hours she will wake up two times and I will feed her. I do not see the need to cut her off completely especially since I am just introducing cereal and vegetables. Just go by your feeling - he is your baby and you know best. I would think crying it out would make them thirsty and hungry.... |
| posted by Sally on 06/09/2007 11:36 AM
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| Kathy, My son is 3 months old and I just picked up a great book about sleep. It is SleepEasy Solutions - but I will save you the money. It just say's to get (in total) 11-12 hours a night. to decrease the feedings - just give one once less each night to slowing wean the child. Then increase the day feedings, so he gets the same amount. I started with my son, and even at 3 months, he really does not want alot at night. He already stopped getting up at 1am. He cries less, and his sleep seems more full. The book is great, but runs about $15. Good Luck! Karin |
| posted by Karin on 06/09/2007 01:04 PM
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| Hello Kathy! I will share my experiences with you, but you need to remember that every baby and every mom is different. For me, 6 months was a magical, glorious time in our household. When my little girl turned 6 months I was also told that she could, and should, go all night without a feeding. That being said, I checked out a bunch of different books at the library on how to handle her when she wakes up wanting to eat. I tried everything for extended periods of time and it seemed like I was only making it worse! So, I just stopped going to her. I knew she was alright without eating, so I just thought I would see what she did on her own. It took 3 nights of "crying"--really just yelling to see if I would come running--and she was sleeping for 10-12 hours at a time. From then on, unless she's sick, she has slept from 7:30-7:30 every night. If you must go to him, just don't pick him up. I found that my daughter got even more upset if she saw me so I didn't even go to her. They need to learn that nighttime is for sleeping, and daytime is for mom and dad. You will get there, I promsie. ALL kids end up sleeping eventually and if you lay these boundaries out for him early you will be glad you did. Kids need boundaries, always, and even though they don't think you are doing them a favor you really are. Good luck to you, hopefully 6 months is great for you too!! |
| posted by Briana on 06/09/2007 02:07 PM
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Thank you all for your feedbacks. My typical bedtime ritual is to give him a warm bath, read couple of bedtime stories (until he fuzzes) then give him a pacifier, rock him to sleep (he is usually asleep within 3 minute), and put him in his crib. From then he wakes up in the middle of the night (anywhere from 1-3 am) for a feeding (I gradually reduced the amount of ounces each week). He will go right back to sleep once he is fed. The only problem that has recently developed is that he now wakes up from 4:30 am - 6:00 am crying every 20-45 minutes needing his pacifier. Strange thing is that while he is crying, he is actually asleep, but his body is constantly jerky and makes him cry out. I don't know why he does that. Do any of your women ever experience anything like that with your babies?
I did once try out the cry it out method, and it was a disaster. I really prefer to avoid that method, for I believe it may not be the best solution for babies with certain temperament. Although, I believe someone from a previous posting did mention that once a baby turns 6 months, they change and may be able to tolerate it better. I may consider the possibility of revisiting this method, but honestly, I'm not sure if this is something both my husband and I are able to cope with hearing our son screaming.
By the way, I'm glad I found this website. It is good to know that I can share some of the difficulties and confusions I face as being a new mom. I wish I have known of this site sooner because when my husband and I brought our son home, it was really an intimidating experience taking care of an infant. I personally felt as if I had no idea what I was doing and felt so helpless. Of course, there are also the wacky hormones driving you crazy as well.
:) |
| posted by kathy on 06/09/2007 09:58 PM
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Hi Kathy,
It is normal for your child to jerk around and cry it out during the early mornings. Dr. Ferber has a great book which tells you all about a babies sleep cycle which is different from adults and young children. When they first go to sleep they go into a very deep sleep for about 4 hours followed by intermittent lighter cycles, another deep sleep, and light cycle. I went to my child at about 4:35 am when I heard him and then would feed him. Dr. Ferber says that as parents sometimes we mean well but are actually disturbing their sleep at that time. I then did what he recommended which is to stay in bed and listen to the monitor. Within 10 to 15 minutes he was in a deep sleep again. You will notice a difference in his crying if he actually wakes himself up. In that case I do not let him cry it out. He still gets in that light cycle every night but goes back into a deeper sleep. I highly recommend Dr.Ferber's book which has your baby only cry for small increments of time and then you go back in to comfort him so that his established trust remains. There was no way I could just let him cry it out totally, but this was a way to help him learn to start soothing himself, while letting me soothe myself because I didn't feel like I was abandoning him. Trust yourself as a mother you will know which approach is best for your particular child. Good luck! |
| posted by Andrea on 06/11/2007 12:06 PM
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| As others have said, you need to do what feels right for you. My husband and I were not comfortable with letting our son "cry it out" and therefore went in and comforted our son when he started crying. We had many sleepless and frustrating nights. However, my son is now just over 7 months and sleeping well through the night. He still cries every now and then, but goes right back to sleep. I found that things started getting better around 5 months. Also, my son is now on solids and bottlefed, which I think really helps get him through the night. Looking back on it, I think many times he was waking up hungry. I try and cluster feed him at night. We also have a set bedtime routine. I have also found that if he takes good naps during the day he sleeps better at night. Also, my son started sleeping much better when he could sleep on his tummy (he was able to roll over both ways). I think he feels more secure than when he lays on his back. Parenting is all trial and error, I'm convinced. You can listen to all the experts in the world, but you really just need to find what works best for you and your child...and you will. :) |
| posted by Liz on 06/12/2007 09:47 PM
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| I don't quite know what changed within the last couple of days, but my son's sleeping pattern has become a total nightmare for me and my husband. From 1 am to 6 am, he wakes up every 15 minutes crying and I get up to put a pacifier into his mouth. I can't get any sleep at all. I don't know what is going on and feel like I'm going to lose it. He is not teething, so that is not the problem. Any suggestions? |
| posted by kathy on 06/13/2007 11:53 AM
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Hi Kathy,
Sometimes babies learn to use us or other things as pacifiers. He may be learning that everytime he cries he get mommy and the pacifier. He could also be teething but not showing any other signs. Is he cranky during the day too? Take his temperature periodically through the day. My sons temp would be fine in the morning but raise 1 to 2 degrees by the afternoon a common thing when babies are teething. My son has been "teething" on and off for 2 weeks but still hasn't sprouted a tooth. It comes and goes. To play it safe I would call your pediatrician for recommendations just to rule out any health problems. How are his naps? Is he spitting up alot? Sometimes a baby can have reflux which can cause lots of wake ups during the night. Hang in there! We are all here for you and hopefully you will get this resolved soon. |
| posted by Andrea on 06/13/2007 12:33 PM
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Andrea, I think you are right about getting me to get his pacifier. I did get him check late last week and was told that he is not teething. He is only cranky during the day when it is time for his naps. He hates taking naps. He does have reflux but it has improved since he was put on solids. I just can't understand why just out of the blue, he won't sleep through the night. I'll be happy now if he will sleep 5 hours. This was on my original posting as a problem. I'm so desperate.
My husband and I talked about once he is 6 month, we may revisit the cry it out method. I just hope I don't end up in tears. I just feel like this method might make him feel that mommy and daddy have abandoned him. |
| posted by kathy on 06/13/2007 12:52 PM
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Kathy
Maybe he is having a growth spurt and truely is hungre, just a thought. |
| posted by susan on 06/13/2007 01:21 PM
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Kathy
I also suggest trying the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. |
| posted by susan on 06/13/2007 01:23 PM
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| I tried to do the no cry method by Elizabeth Pantley but end up giving up because I am so sleep deprived and giving in by sticking the pacifier into his mouth to fall asleep. I don't have the stamina to do it for weeks. I don't know how I can get the will to do it for a month. |
| posted by kathy on 06/13/2007 04:21 PM
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| Kathy...I can so relate to you right now. My son is a little over 12 months, but we have always struggled with his sleeping pattens. When I was home on my maturnity leave, he would never sleep. And when he was asleep it was in my arms. I could only put him down in a swing or the crib for maybe an hour. He never slept during the day and woke up every two hours at night. I felt so desperate that I went back to work earlier than I had really wanted to just to get out of the house. Thank goodness he goes to a wonderful daycare which he loves and they worked on his naps. But we still struggle with the nights and the weekend naps. I really think the structure at daycare gave him what I wasn't able to give him. Naps at our house are on the floor with pillows and nights are falling asleep in the livingroom and then into his own crib but ends up in our bed within 3 hours. It has been a topic of conversation at each pediatrician appointment, but they always reassure me that some children do not require large amounts of sleep. I got one of those kids. Even though his parents do require A LOT of sleep. Long story short. IT WILL GET BETTER. Last night and tonight I have been able to put him in his crib awake and he has fallen right to sleep. He didn't make it thru the night last night, but tonight I might not be so quick to jump out of bed at the first signs of him crying out. I wouldn't have even considered this a couple of months ago. Take your time with the "cry out method". As our children get older we realize when it is okay to let them cry. It is not easy to let a 5 month old cry. I always remind myself that I am doing the best I can. Being a parent is so hard. No one can ever really prepare you for this. |
| posted by Cyndie on 06/13/2007 08:46 PM
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Kathy,
Try Dr. Ferbers book. My son took 2 nights and then we have had no trouble with him sleeping. This book is great because they cry only for a few minutes then you comfort him. He says most babies will not take longer then 3 or 4 days to learn to self soothe. You may get lucky like I did. My son used the paci too, now he doesn't use it at all. This book is so informative and gives you advice on sleep problems all the way up to age 12. You have to get some sleep and baby needs to get some interrupted sleep too. If you don't want to get the book I can email you his guide on gradual sleep progression. If you want to try something else I understand, but know that I will help you in anyway if you want to try this. |
| posted by Andrea on 06/14/2007 11:04 AM
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| Thank you Andrea for your offer. I actually ordered the Ferber book from my library. Once it arrives, I'll have to check it out. If I like or feel comfortable with Ferber's sleep methods, then I'm planning to purchase his book. I hope to follow through without giving in, but it is so hard to hear your child crying and it breaks my heart. I'm sure all moms feel that way as well. Once I try it, I'll keep you posted. Once again thank you. |
| posted by kathy on 06/14/2007 02:08 PM
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You've received some really great advice on your little one's sleeping issues!
A few things that have helped me get through the regular disturbances in our son's sleeping: Remember that there are no "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts" when it comes to infant sleep...except doing what works best for you and your husband.
Our son did the 3 am feeding until he was probably about 4 months old. Then we did a "dream feed"...got him up with little to no waking at around 10 or 11pm, fed him a bottle while he slept in our arms, then laid him back down. He'd sleep until about 6. Then we actually cut this one out when we felt it was becoming more habit than a need. When he'd get fussy around that time, we'd give him his paci and then he'd go back to sleep. There were some rough weeks when he'd learn something new and his body would involuntarily move from muscle memory...but he'd always get through it. You're not alone! Even the "good" sleepers have disturbances at some point in their development..and your boy sounds pretty normal for what he's been used to doing. Just remember, you and your spouse are in charge. So, when it's not working, be willing to do the work needed to make it work!
Good luck! |
| posted by Kelly on 06/15/2007 10:41 AM
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James sleep pattern seemed to have improved. I give him dinner at 5:30-6pm and give him 8 oz. of formula around 10:30-11:30 pm. He has been sleeping until 4 or 5 am. I will then give him another 8 oz. of formula and he will go right back to sleep. He still gets up from 6am every 15-45 minutes and I'll coerce him back to sleep by sticking his pacifier back into his mouth until 8 am.
I hope to read the Ferber method but will tailor the sleep training to something that I can endure.
I'm not sure if anyone ran into this situation. I've been trying to sleep train James by following a routine bedtime ritual starting at 7pm and every time he adjust and things are well developing, we end up going over my in-laws for dinner. We end up home around 8-9 pm and his sleep schedule is all screwed up. It takes several days for him to re-transition. This re-transition is so frustrating for me. I'm starting to dread going over my in-laws for dinner. |
| posted by kathy on 06/19/2007 08:37 PM
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Hey Kathy,
I can so relate. My sisters and friends all have older children, and everyone plans thing in the later evening hours. I think everyone believes I am a neurotic first time mom when I say we have to leave early because of my sons bedtime. If we don't follow his sleep schedule we pay for it for days afterwards. I just wish people understood that I just don't want to deal with the hassle of having a screaming child because we didn't follow his bed time routine. Sometimes I take my pack and play and follow his sleep routine, and place him in a quiet room at whoevers house. I also bring my monitor. This helps a little because at least he goes to sleep on time, but then you still have to wake the baby up to leave. I hope all is well ! |
| posted by Andrea on 06/21/2007 08:05 PM
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