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| First Time Moms |
| Public online group |
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| So when I first found out I was pregnant I went on line (Megan's List) to see if there were any Registered Child Predators in my area. To my surprise, they are EVERYWHERE!!! Recently (my daughter is now 2 months old) I went on line to check again and found there is one on the very next block. What do I do? I seriously would want to protest and do all it takes to get this man out of there, but I dont know if that's over reacting since he doesnt live on my block. What would you do? |
| Posted by April on 10/30/2008 12:37 PM
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| If he just recently moved there... sometime after you moved in I think that you should try and get him out! I would be pissed and feel so unsafe! Talk to the other mommies in your area and see what you can do. If it were me I'd be knocking at his door and ask for the detail in which he was convicted. |
| posted by Candice on 10/30/2008 01:13 PM
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| It does sound scary but you have to keep in mind that you do not know why they are a registered offender. I work with many offenders and a lot of them are forced to register for something like being 18 and having a 16 year old girlfriend and the parents filed rape charges. |
| posted by Marya on 10/30/2008 01:49 PM
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| Going and knocking on their door would be rude and disrespectful. Like one of the other women said, many of these people have genuinely done nothing. Even a thirteen year old boy is being forced to register now, if he has sex. Keep a close watch, and good luck. |
| posted by Abigail on 10/30/2008 02:25 PM
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| It states the following under offense: ATTEMPTED LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS ACTS WITH CHILD UNDER 14 YEARS |
| posted by April on 10/30/2008 03:15 PM
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| I have a friend that is a sex offender but its only because he was 18 and the girl he was dating had told him that she was 18 also...she wasn't and her parents found out that they were having sex and reported him...I wouldn't just go knocking on their door but I would want to find out WHY they are one. BUT you have to think of it this way, unless they just moved, before you had a kid you didn't know that he was there and was fine...why should he have to move because you had a kid? I'm not trying to be rude or bash but thats the first thought that went into my head when you said you were going to try to get him out. I mean I TOTALLY understand that you are worried and scared cause I have one that lives near by but thats no reason to make him move...I mean if he was harassing the kids then yea make the shit head move but he hasn't done anything to anyone in your area, just keep an eye out for him and teach your kids to stay away from people he doesn't know. |
| posted by Amers on 10/30/2008 04:53 PM
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| Oh, I totally understand there are cases like that. When I was 14 my boyfriend was 19 and off and on it went until I was 19. My brothers girlfriend is no legal, but when he first got w/ her she was only 14 and him 16. Now he’s 22 and they are still together w/ a child. If her parents wanted to be jerks they could have pressed charges as soon as he turned 18. And don’t worry about being rude, when I post mssgs I’m looking for people to give me their HONEST opinions, not just humor me or agree with me. His offense states ATTEMPTED LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS ACTS WITH CHILD UNDER 14 YEARS. He’s 38! Granted I don’t know how long ago this was, though. |
| posted by April on 10/30/2008 05:14 PM
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| There is really only so much you can do, regardless of his offense. Even a registered sex offender has rights(at least to an extent). I'm not sure what website you searched, but you can use www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp which will show you the convictions as well. There are certain restrictions on where sex offenders can live. In all states there is a requirement that they not live within 1000 feet of certain places, such as parks, schools, places children frequent (such as zoos), ect. If you are able to figure out that he is living within the limited distance, then you would be able to report it to the local police department and they would charge him with a new offense, which would force him to move. You can also call the police department to find out what the exact location is, since local ordinances sometimes make the restrictions tighter. For example, some places have it as far as 2500 feet(that I have seen). I would say though that it is not likely that he is within the limit because his parole/probation officer would have had to go out and make sure the residence met the local laws. If he has moved since he was on probation though, it is a possiblity. |
| posted by Casey on 10/30/2008 06:06 PM
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| I have a sex offender that actually lives right next to me (in the house next door). He's a renter. When we bought our house about eight months ago I looked up online to see if their were any registered sex offenders in the neighborhood (you can imagine my surprise when one was my next door neighbor). Actually, I have had no problems with him. He's never appeared creepy to me or anything. I am still alert when my child is outside playing and he is around though. Like a previous poster said - they have rights too and you can't just petition them out of the neighborhood because of a site that lists them as a predator. There are predators everywhere by the way (at the mall, library, etc.). |
| posted by Heather on 10/30/2008 06:24 PM
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| Another thing to mention, and I'm not trying to worry anyone more, but in reality, it is more likely that a person who has failed to register or who has never been convicted will be the one to commit a crime. If a person is registered and is actually living at the house th ey have registered at, then they are trying to follow the laws and the restrictions put down by the court. That's just something to think about when you get really concerned because a registered offender lives down the street, but not so concerned that a single guy lives a few houses over. Now, by saying this, I'm not trying to ssay that every single man is a sexual predator. Just trying to make a point. |
| posted by Casey on 10/30/2008 10:00 PM
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| You have a right as a mother to find out if he is a threat. Check his age and his age at the time of conviction. You should freak out especially if your planning on having you baby grow up there and he stays. I'm just saying, I have no tolerance for any child abuse and if this man is someone who has hurt a child and lives where your daughter will be playing you have rights to ask and educate yourself about him and talk to him. period. |
| posted by Candice on 10/31/2008 06:05 PM
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OMG..thats scary girl I would do whatever I could to get him out of the neighborhood.. Did you decide what you are going to do?
Ericka
www.healthrepsneeded.com |
| posted by Ericka on 10/31/2008 08:11 PM
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What site did you go on and is it free?
I'd be concerned too...but just do your job as a mother and protect your child the best you can. Don't ever let your child out without you. Half of the people who end up doing something aren't registered. Anyone can be bad just use your best judgement.
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| posted by Claire on 11/12/2008 05:13 PM
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| Hi Claire. I googled Megan's Law and found many websites. Some werent free, but the one I went to (The OG Megan's Law website) was free, but there was a link to check predators in California) Try www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp |
| posted by April on 11/12/2008 07:53 PM
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As far as doing something to get this guy out. You are wasting your time. I, of course, have a child, and I totally understand your concern, but this man has rights, and you have absoutly no right to bother him, nock on his door, or try to force him to move. I really think you are being dramatic. The only thing you can do is move yourself. I am sorry, but me and my husband bought our home 5 years ago, my son is 1. I looked all this stuff up before buying, it should not matter if you have a child or not. I wanted to know who my neighbors are. So all of this should have already been looked into. I understand that they can move in after you move in, but that is up to you to keep up on who your neighbors are. The law has decided that they are no major threat and therefore they are free, but they are keeping an eye on them. And as stated before, they will not be living within so many feet of a school, park or such. I really am sorry about your situation, and I am sorry to be so blunt, but there just simply is not anything you can do, other than move.
Also you can find the list of sexual offenders on your local police dept. web site. They are free, and you don't have to go hunting around for it. The local police dept web site where I live tells their addresses, work address, what they were convicted for and how long they have to register for. Not all of them have to register for ever.
Good luck |
| posted by Kim on 11/13/2008 01:57 AM
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| Thank you Kim. Let me say my dad owns the house I live in and therefore we've known most of our neighbors for over 20 years. Granted we just started living there a while ago, but why should I move when I'm a law abiding citizen? I understand this man has paid his debt to society and that is why I did not go barging in to his space. I dont think my concern is me being dramatic though. After all if I dont look out for my daughter who will? And there is a difference between committing a crime and being sick in the head. I'm not God, nor do I wear a black robe & therefore I try my best not to judge people, but in my opinion, child molesters are sick in the head. This is something that cant be cured with time in jail. Hell, even other inmates have no tolerance for child molesters. And for the record, I live a block away from a park which happens to have an elementary school in it! |
| posted by April on 11/13/2008 03:38 PM
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Just some food for thought:
What are the chances that this person will have the opportunity to be alone with your child? Especially now that you have information to protect your family with.
One thing to consider, is alot of children are abused sexually by people they already know & trust. Some of my family members were abused by an uncle, some others by a family friend, when they were children.
I would say, inform yourself and be vigilant, there are certainly sickos out there. But remember that those websites that give the information have disclaimers you have to agree to, that you won't harass the people whom you find on there. |
| posted by Bethany on 11/13/2008 05:50 PM
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| Unfortunately, you are right, Bethany. I just remember when I was growing up all the neighborhood kids would play until dark, dinner time and/or the street lights came on. We'd run around out side going from one persons yard/house to another. If thirsty, we'd go in to whoever's house was the closest to get a glass of water. If someone had a new game/toy, we'd go check it out. It's so sad that my daughter wont have the liberty to do that. Finding out these people are everywhere ensures I wont let her just run around out side unsupervised like we did. |
| posted by April on 11/13/2008 06:34 PM
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I by no means meant to sound like I was defending this guy. I was afraid that I did sound that way. And I did not mean you being dramatic in a bad way. I TOTALLY understand your concern and frustration. I would not be happy about it AT ALL if I was in your shoes. It is just fact that there is nothing that can be done about it other than if he is living to close to a school or what not.
Let me tell you this, my personal feelings. My brother, who I am very close with, is a cop in the city that we live in, and he has 3 kids, and so when he takes calls pertaining to this issue he talks about them and how it upsets him. Before I became a mother I was really not a "kid person", but of course I would not tolerate hurting a child. But now that I am a mother I told my brother that I can understand how you hear about parents killing these people that have hurt their kids and gotten away with it. I said, and I quote, "I could level a gun to somoneone's head and pull the triger and walk away and go on with my day like nothing happened without batting an eye, if someone hurt my son. And that is truly what I feel in my heart. I would literally kill the person that put their hands on my son.
I realy do feel for your situation, but again, there is not a lot that can be done about it. I agree this person is probably totally sick and should maybe not even be walking on this earth. |
| posted by Kim on 11/15/2008 01:46 AM
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I work professionally in sex offender rehabilitiation. Most sex offenders are pathological, meaning there is no "cure". However, with proper treatment, you can lessen the likelyhood of re-offending. If this man is living out in the community and is registered in the house he actually lives in, most likely he is at a low risk to re-offend. I agree with the others that most offenses are either blown out of proportion or are done by people who are not registered.
What you can do though, is what you would do anyway...keep a close eye on you child at all times and teach them not to talk to strangers, or anything like that.
Sex offenders are people too and they do have the same feelings and most regret what they have done. (Not that I am in any way condoning what they have done), it's just that when you work in the field, you do see the other side to it. |
| posted by Katie on 11/16/2008 10:09 AM
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