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| Stay at Home Moms |
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OK, So I know in my brain that everything isn't going to get done while my kids are little and I should just be ok with that. But I can't STAND seeing my laundry (clean AND dirty) piled up around me, knowing that I have GOT to change the sheets on the kids' beds, keeping up with the kitchen, home maintenance, and then on top of it I feel like I'm letting my 5yo daughter's social life languish because I just haven't scheduled playdates for her.
So my question is not how can I get this all done, but how can I be more accepting of the fact that it won't be? |
| Posted by Cindy on 10/22/2008 12:45 PM
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| hi cindy...i KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. i am struggling w/that conflict myself...esp. about the changing sheets and laundry. i was a bit of a neat freak and a messy environment affects my sense of order and rightness w/the world. i have been killing myself since my son was born to keep things neat, but lately, i am so tired of it, you know? so, i finally bit the bullet and decide to hire a maid (VERY EXPENSIVE AND DEF, NOT w/n our budget) but we decided to have her come bi weekly or montly so that alteast once a month, i clean up stuff for the maid. i found a college student w/n the college website and on craigslist and i pay her 10 dollars an hour to come help me clean the house once a week. she stays for two hours. basically, i just want the bathrooms and the dusting done. then the cleaning service comes once a month. i know it's not the best solution b/c i really have moral issues w/having to pay someone more than i make to clean my house, but decided that my sanity was better than the money. so... |
| posted by Lalitha on 10/22/2008 01:07 PM
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| I can also totally relate to this. I just started staying home a few months ago, and I am constantly struggling with all kinds of guilt about everything I should be doing. I had all these projects in mind that I thought I'd have time for, like organizing our study and our photos. I was shocked at how little time I do have. I've been trying to remember that I'm staying at home for my child, and not for my house. I stayed home because I wanted to spend quality time with my daughter and watch her grow. I grew up in a home that was always immaculate, but my mom was always busy cleaning or cooking and didn't take the time to interact much. My older sister raised her kids in a house that was always a bit disorganized and messy, but she was so much fun and had the best relationship with her kids, and they are both extremely successful adults today and she still has a great relationship with them. I'm trying to keep her in mind as a role model, and I try to do just a little each day, like maybe clean the bathroom, or do one load of laundry but not try to do it all at once. |
| posted by Karen on 10/22/2008 01:50 PM
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| This morning I woke with my 13 month old son and I felt horrible! I changed my son's diaper, turned on cartoons, put up my baby gates, gave him a cup of cheerios and I laid down on the couch and went back to sleep. Of course as you could imagine I woke up to cheerios all over my living room floor, toys scattered, etc. really, none of it matters much to me. My son is safe, due to the baby gates, he has a full belly, a clean butt, and had fun. I guess my advice would be to prioritize the tasks that must be done. Don't sweat the small stuff. Take time for yourself. Realize that there is truely no such thing as a super mom, and quit trying to acheive super mom status. Even the moms who seem to do it all have their shortcomings. Shift your focus from what needs to be done, to your child. A 5 year old is very capable of helping btw. I wish you luck and serenity. :) |
| posted by KT on 10/22/2008 02:05 PM
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| I know how you feel, before my son was born I would deep clean my house every saturday. Now, I do it once a month, and that may not include everything just the things I can't stand to look at anymore, I do clean the bathrooms more often but everything else like vacuming dusting, windows gets done once a month. I do all our sheets once or twice a week and still do laundry daily. I still do a lot but not as much as I would like. I came to understand it just isn't as important as I thought it was when my son was starting to help me, probably so I could done and play with him. He is two and 1/2 and does like to help me put clothes in the dryer and hand me some of the plastic stuff out of the dishwasher. But I figure I shouldn't pass my OCD traits to him. My mom also told me something that really has stuck with me. She was a clean fanatic while I was growing up, which is, I'm sure where I get it from. And when she noticed me doing the same things, she told me one day, it's not as important as we think it is. The important thing is the family being happy. Not to say, don't do any housework, but not everything has to be done today. Just do what you can and you'll find time to do the other stuff later. Play with your kids and enjoy them while their small they grow up fast. |
| posted by amy on 10/22/2008 02:12 PM
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| I totally feel the same way that all of you do! There are not enough hours in a day it seems or not enough nap times! My way of staying sane is keeping one rule set in stone, that is nothing is to touch the floor, no clothes toys (for more than when played with) etc. It helps you feel better when atleast things appear neat. Clutter on the floor really makes things feel so chaotic. I am a pretty big neat freak so I get really bad anxiety about getting things done! Its hard because with kids life is so unpredictable. I tried making chores for different days of the week, that doesn't always work because of the whole unpredictable children thing! There is a balance out there, somewhere. |
| posted by Sarah on 10/22/2008 02:21 PM
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| cindy, i do personally feel it is very important to be home with, care for, and do activities with my kid. i am not so much of a neat freak,but do like things organised. and only the nesessities get done. in any free time i have i do my projects,(or school work). just keep in mind the nesessities. i do spend alot of time, attention,(and training) on my son. hes the only one i got and only young once. |
| posted by teresa on 10/22/2008 02:56 PM
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| I have one word for everyone....NOGGIN!! When I need to get things done, I wait until a show that they really like comes on. Of course I am not saying plug them in front of the tv ALL day, but you would be surprised what you can done while Dora The Explorer, or Wow Wow Wubbzy is on. It's part of a digital cable cable, so you have to pay more than basic cable, but it is so worth it! All educational, with no commercials. Check it out! |
| posted by Felicity on 10/22/2008 03:27 PM
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| I do one room a day! I usually do the most important room first. mainly kitchen and living room. if our room or my sons room is messy and we have company i shut the doors! I used to care about how the whole house looked but it seemed that when i was spending all day cleaning it would get back to being a mess by the end of that night! I have a little check list that i go by, like today was wash my sons clothes and clean the kitchen. I didnt mop or anything like that i just got the dirty dishes in the dishwasher put them away and i was done! Usually my trick is i leave the clean clothes all over the place in the bedroom and my fiance realizes that most of it are his clothes and he hates feeling cluttered so he puts them away!! Dont stress yourself out! My mom was and is super anal when it comes to cleaning and she never had time for activities with me and i refuse to be that way with my son! as long as my sons play areas are clean im happy! |
| posted by Stephanie on 10/22/2008 04:40 PM
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