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| Raising Indigo Children |
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Heeeeeeeeeelp!!!
Things at school seem to be getting worse for my son and I am at my whits end... don't know what else to do. He's in grade 3 and in a smaller classroom called structured success for kids who have difficulty in a regular classroom. For the last 3 weeks, there has been at least one day where he has been sent home because of unacceptable behaviour... swearing, spitting, running out of the classroom... last week it was Friday and yesterday he was treading on thin ice. It baffels me because this type of behaviour does not happen at home. When I ask him why he did it, it's usually "I don't know" or sometimes, "so and so did this" (which sets the ball rolling).
My question is... I have bought him crystals to ground him and help him concentrate/ focus, and just this past weekend, took him for a crystal healing session that did wonders for him... unfortunately, he is still on adderall and I want to ween him from them but know that while doing that, he will crash while his body goes through withdrawl. I am wondering if perhaps his behaviour has progressively gotten worse because what I am doing for him (crystals and healing) is actually working and the meds are having the opposite effect on him now?
I do the above things with the intention of them helping him... but am having a really hard time with taking him off the meds because I know it's going to be ugly for awhile.
Any thoughts? |
| Posted by Tamara on 10/21/2008 11:09 AM
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Well first I hope the school understands your need for getting him off meds, my oldest spent 2 years in 2 different schools and neither accepted my decision to refuse medication.
I would talk to the school, tell them you are going to try weening him off the meds so they are prepared for the behavior, also as I told someone else, they should give him a quiet place so that when it becomes too much for him, he can retreat to calm himself, also maybe find a crystal that can be put on a chain that he can wear to class, this of course not something I would mention to them for fear they wouldn't understand, or maybe even put in his pocket and have him hold it during his quiet time? I hope the school understands and works with you to improve the health of your son :) |
| posted by Nicole on 10/21/2008 11:51 AM
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When he has his "issues" yesterday at school I mentioned to the teacher that aside from everything else, I think it may have something to do with his meds. Her first response was "maybe he's growing and needs a higher dosage" or "need to try something else". I would love to be open and honest with them about weening him off but honestly, I don't think they would understand and knowing that he is not on meds any more, gives them an excuse for his behaviour right?!?! "Well.. of course he's acting like this... he's not medicated". It's almost like, they will try harder to work with him when he is on medication as opposed to not being on anything at all.
He did have a quiet room he could go to last year and this morning, after your suggestion, I suggested it to his teacher. She said, they took that room away from us because they didn't think we needed it anymore. I said it was probably a good idea to find another "quiet place" for him to go because things just seem to be getting worse.
He does have a crystal on a rope that we bought for him and of course.. I keep forgetting to put it on him! Thanks for reminding me!
Will keep trying and trucking along! |
| posted by Tamara on 10/21/2008 12:23 PM
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| sometimes their bodys suddenly reject the meds that seemed to be working for them,my son was doing really well for 6 months on a stimulant(ritalin),but all of a sudden,it stopped working for him and really started making him anxious and violent. he is now on strattera as it is not a stimulant and helps with the anxiety,he is also attending a special program for kids like him who have trouble to fit the mold,he had the same problems at school,anmd i was very frustrated when we had to start medicating him to keep him in school,the school was very nervous and did not react well to me telling them that i was going to take him off the medication,unfortunatly there are not enough resources in public schools to handle children like ours. |
| posted by shushy on 10/21/2008 12:36 PM
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It really worries me that we are medicating our kids and in a way inhibiting their growth and development. If they truly are more evolved than your average every day human, are we not medicating them so that "society" can deal with them rather than having society "adjust" for them? .... especially when we are seeing more and more of them? ADHD and ODD are two of the most commonly diagnosed childhood "illnesses" (for lack of a better term).
I know that in order for them to be successful in the school system, and if parents have to work out of the home to make a living, it seems like the only option. For myself, that is exactly why we went the medication route. I am going off on maternity leave at the end of November and aside from considering home schooling him, think that I will pull him off of his meds as well and do some intense therapy with him ie. yoga, crystals, reiki. I just don't know what else to do and not to mention, adderall is the 3rd or 4th drug we've tried for him... I think his little body has had enough already! |
| posted by Tamara on 10/21/2008 02:00 PM
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I don't often post but, I read something that I think is so important. More and more I hear how teachers are telling parents a diagnosis for their child, that the child needs meds or in this case the teacher saying maybe he needs an increase of medication. I am not doctor but I am an educator and no teacher has received the proper schooling to be able to appropriately diagnosis or recommend medication to anyone. I urge everyone here, when a teacher tells you your child is ADHD...etc. and needs meds to ask them if they have a PhD in Psychology and tell them that they are not capable of making such assertions.
I will state that medication is highly over prescribed to children and I do not normally see a reason for it. There are cases where it is needed in my opinion. We have to remember that children have developing minds, these medications can alter that development in ways we are not even clear about yet.
Try to find a therapist, not a Md to help treat your children before you send them to a md because more often than not, they will be prescribed medication that may or may not be needed.
My daughter has some of the attributes that one could consider to be hyperactive and untrained people have asked but, I have many friends that are properly trained and have always said she is not.
Alot of teachers just want kids to sit still and listen all day long, This is not the natural state of any child regardless if they are indigo. I hope I don't sound like I am going on but, this is a topic I am passionate about and I believe as parents you know your child best. If your child is not having the behaviors at home or they are not causing a problem at home and a teacher is saying that they are being disruptive at school, then it is probably an issue with the way your child's teacher is teaching and not an issue with your child!
Peace, Megan |
| posted by Megan on 10/21/2008 04:25 PM
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Couldn't have said it any better myself :) James' teacher in kindergarten told me "your son is ADHD and you need to do something about this", I said he has seen a few therapists and 2 have said no he is not, one has said yes he is. She said well since you refuse to medicate him you should change his diet, no white foods like regular bread etc. I said my son doesnt eat white bread, only wheat and the doctor he saw said no RED foods, not white. she blubbered for a few then said well white food too.
1st grade, same thing, when I told his teacher I was going to pull him out and home school him she rolled her eyes at me. but at the end of the year, she was caught spraying the kids with her perfume because "they smelled like wet dogs when they come in from playing" caused my sons eczema to flare up BAD, and a rash on another student. when I confronted the principal on this and she called the teacher in, all I got was a "well she wont do it again" but were it my son who caused bodily harm to someone he would have been expelled. The school system caters to the teacher now for fear of them striking. This was the final straw to home school my son, the inability to read my sons file and KNOW that chemicals cause him to break out.
later that year she bragged, YES BRAGGED, about getting 3 parents to medicate their kids, so thats 3 out of a class of 25. This is what our teachers these days use instead of patience. So I totally agree with your passion on this :) |
| posted by Nicole on 10/21/2008 04:49 PM
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Megan,
Thank you so much for your insight! It is great to know that their are some educators out there who "get it". I have brought up the fact time and time again that he is not like this at home and I am told, "well, he's an only child there" and "here there is more structure"... at home there is plenty of structure and their are expectations of him as well so these comments have never sat well. I agree that more often than not, teachers expect children to sit still and listen all day long and for my son, this just isn't working.
He does have a child therapist that he sees but after calling to make a desperately needed appointment yesterday, was told the earliest she could see him was Nov. 17th. When she does see him, she does do a thorough case study and involves the school but really... the only solution I have heard from any of his therapists is the same one I get from his teachers... change meds, increase, decrease.
We have tried a hundred different strategies, coping mechanisms, reward systems, consequences, you name it. Just not sure that there are any options left aside from home schooling him.
Tamara |
| posted by Tamara on 10/21/2008 05:00 PM
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Tamara-
Maybe there is another teacher at the school that would be able to work with him better. Some teachers temperament and classroom instructor will work great with some kids and not at all with others. You could sit in some of the other teachers classrooms and observe how they act with the children, is there possibly an alternative school or program that might be better suited for him? Maybe Homeschooling is the best option, I am not sure what part of the country you are in but I know where I am at they have Homeschooling programs where you child can get part day in a classroom or certain subject taught at a school and the rest of the time you teach at home.
Placement is the key to your child's success. Only you and your child will know if medication is necessary but, with or with out medication if the teacher is not working for your child and is only interested in working with your child if he is taking medication then I would question her as a teacher.
I would also look into different therapist in your area that are known for being natural or non-med. This may be hard to find depending on where you live but, it is well worth the investigation. You can seriously get a list of people and call and ask them what there primary form of treatment for ADHD is, if they say they do therapy and if "medication is needed then prescribe" then you probably want to call someone else. If they are already talking about medication in the first phone interview then you know that is probably the treatment they will offer you.
Good Luck :) And always remember you are the advocate for your child!
Peace, Megan |
| posted by Megan on 10/21/2008 07:22 PM
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| If you do decide to take him off meds you should change his classroom. The dynamic that is established with his teacher is not going to change. I noticed my son would act irratic around a specific teacher. It seems as if these children are on this planet to help others "step up" in their healing. It makes me angry when I hear teachers place all the blame on the children. Most of the time the children are giving the teachers an opportunity to learn from them. Once I found a teacher that my son "connected" with things got better. We visited his school the other night and he saw his old teacher and immediatly feel right into his old behavior. It was very interesting. These children are super sensitive and the majority of the time they are reflecting what they are picking up on. The crystals are magnifiers, so if he is sensing some intense energy it will amplify it. I would consider a totally new environment for him before you take him off meds. His teacher can sabotage the withdraw process just to get you to put him back on them. Its been done before. |
| posted by Kristie on 10/21/2008 07:32 PM
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