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| Stay at Home Moms |
| Public online group |
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| Hey, how do you sahm's keep from going crazy since we don't get time away from our job? |
| Posted by Chris on 10/21/2008 10:28 AM
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| I totally hear you! I am asking myself the same ?. I think we just need time away to ourselves or with our friends. I feel like it is really easy to loose ourselves and feel like all we are are moms. |
| posted by Karla on 10/21/2008 10:33 AM
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| joining a mommy group and having some grown up time. Oh, and Paxil! and a glass of wine sometimes. |
| posted by Suzanne on 10/21/2008 10:33 AM
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I know that this may sound awfaul of me but at ten to eight at night I tuck the kids in bed and I go to mine and my husbands room and close the door and watch tv until I go to bed. If the kids need something I tell them your on daddys time so go ask him.
My hubby works 40+ hours a week, he hunts in the fall and winter and he is fishing once the ice is gone. So I get virtually no time away so I make it a point that once I tuck the kids in bed that it's now mommy time for mommy and daddy time for daddy to take care of the kids.
I figure that I take care of the house, kids and him so why can't he give me from 8pm until 10pm or so. Just two hours a night for me to watch tv, read, write, or whatever I want to do. I think thats reasonable. I don't have any hobbies outside of the home like he does. So far it works, sometimes it doesn't help as much but it works now and thats all that matters. :) |
| posted by Carrie on 10/21/2008 10:40 AM
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| I do the same thing. I do the house, kids, yard work, and take care of my husband. The evenings I also, go upstairs and close the door and watch t.v. and sometimes even take my dinner up there to eat in piece. I love my kids but, the evenings from around 7:30-10pm is my time. My husband can watch them and entertain them for a while in the evening. On, weekends he gets to sleep late but, I don't (which I don't think is fair), but oh well. You have to have time by yourself or with adults or you would go crazy! So, none of us should feel quilty about it.. we deserve time away! Friday's my husband and daughter go to a friends house and hangout, though he isn't really watching her, the other wife is. He is just getting out of the house to have some drinks and guy talk. I get to stay home with just my son. I pick up me and my son dinner and then we rent a movie and have just mommy and son night. Don't mind because at least I have one that night instead of two. My son is 2 1/2 so, when I put him to bed I get my glass of wine and watch whatever I want on the t.v. Saturdays, my husband and daughter also, will sometimes go to a friends house to watch UT game. My son and I go for a little while but then we come home. My husband and daughter sometimes stay the night at the friends house that we watch the game at, so all I have to worry about is my son that evening. So, it works for us. And one is easier to take care of then two (or I should say 3 since my husband is a kid also)!!! ha !! ha!! |
| posted by Suzanne on 10/21/2008 12:01 PM
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Play dates work well for us. Indoor play areas ore life savers, whereby kids can be kids. A regular schedule helps alot, that would include my nap once or twice a week while my daughter takes hers. Going to bed early helps although I do not do it every night, since I still have a lot to do.
Yoga, meditation or whatever you do to connect to God. All the roles we play on earth, parenting being one just strengthens our relationship with that Higher force that makes our lives possible, we have given that force different names Jesus, Budha etc.
Raising a family takes very few years as compared to one's lifespan. Remembering to enjoy the hubby and the kids helps. And being grateful for them always, they are precious gifts from God. Not everyone has been given a hubby or kids. And we do not have a guarantee that the family we have will stay together even the next second. If you think about it right now, some people are mourning the loss of a child or a hubby. This is real. As hard as it is just thank the force you pray to for sending the beautiful family at least once a day. |
| posted by Judy on 10/21/2008 09:27 PM
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Chris, and all,
I have been trying to find the answer to that very same question! I'm a new SAHM and i've been trying different schedules and all sorts of things. I feel really guilty that my husband is totally responsible for all the finances so I try really hard to make it so he can just relax and we can all spend time together when he gets home. But there are days that I just need a break and he'll give it to me, like he'll take the kids outside, or i'll go tanning, or in the bathroom and soak in the tub and he'll keep them occupied for me.
I get up and walk in the mornings, i've found on the days that I do that i'm in much better spirits all day.
Also, I just found a local playgroup and i'm really looking forward to checking it out, it's just SAHM's like us that are looking for adult and social interaction (plus getting the kids out of the house is good to), I can't wait.
All my girlfriends from when I was working have slowly drifted away, I'm really confused about it,and don't quite understand why we can't still be friends and do all the same stuff we used to.
Oh yeah, i've noticed several people mentioning a nice glass of wine once in a while, that really does help.
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| posted by Crystal on 10/21/2008 11:11 PM
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Crystal,
My husband and I lost all of our friends when I was pregnant with my daughter. Once it got around our circle of friends they all just drifted away. I had asked because I didn't understand why either. One told me that it was because he was still in his twenties and didn't want to be around all that responsiblity. I ask one of my best friends and she said pretty much the same thing that having a child means that your tied down and she wants a friend that she can call at the wee hours of night to go out and party. Another one said because they were just flat out jealous. So it happens, just something to expect when you become a parent. Shouldn't have to be like that but it is. Now we have no friends. We don't know anyone with kids and the ones that don't have kids call about once a year and thats it. |
| posted by Carrie on 10/22/2008 07:19 AM
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