 |
|
|
|
| First Time Moms |
| Public online group |
|
|
| |
|
|
| I'm getting ready to take my daughter off the breast, but I'm not sure how to do that without problems. I hate to hear her cry, especially when she really doesn't have to. I'm currently doing mostly breast. She has fruit and veggies every other day because she doesn't really want it. She prefers the breast. She is 8 months now and I'm worried I won't ever get her off the breast. As much as I enjoy knowing I'm giving her the best thing she needs right now, I can't let her first birthday catch us still with this breast thing, IM SCARED. |
| Posted by Shadena on 10/11/2008 09:59 PM
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
I had the same worries, once upon a time. My daughter REFUSED to take a bottle after 3 months old and by accident, found a bottle she would take at 8 months old. By accident meaning, she took a friend's bottle and decided she wanted to drink out of that. Of course, it was the ONE bottle I did not try (Dr. Brown's) but she loved it.
What I did to wean her off the breast was to mix an ounce of formula (mix the powder and water to make one ounce) then fill the rest of the bottle with breast milk (let's say 5 oz to make 6 total oz). Then after 3 days of success, I'd change the ratio - 2 oz formula to 4 oz breast milk. Then so on until it was all formula.
Also, the first thing I did to make sure she got used to a bottle first, so I would just do one bottle a day with all breast milk. Then once I started putting formula and I was serious that I was gonna go through with the weaning come hell or high water, I breastfed her only in the morning and bedtime and the rest was bottle. I started around 9 or 9 and a half months, something like that, and she was completely weaned by 10 months old.
Oh, I saw how you said she only eats solids every other day. Since she is close to 9 months, I'd really recommend that you start feeding her solids every day. It should be cereal (rice for the first one) twice a day..morning and dinner. And she should be eating 3 meals of baby food a day consisting of cereal, veggies, fruit and pureed meats. Start out slowly but if you don't do it every day, she won't take to it at all. It takes a baby at least 10 exposures to take a liking to a new food. Once she is weaned off breast milk, you gotta make sure she's drinking a certain amount of formula a day (along with the solid foods). I can't remember what it is and don't want to tell you something wrong.
Hope this helps! Good luck to ya. You think feeding is tough now, wait until toddler years..lol. ;) |
| posted by on 10/11/2008 11:23 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Why would her being a year old be bad if she is still nursing?
Just be sure that you want to put your daughter through it because it can cause insecurities. Babies ween themselves when they are ready and milk is usually introduced at about a year to where you can make the transition easier. My daughter is a year and 2 weeks old and I haven't even considered weening her it would devistated her she is attached to me I am her "security"
Just remember it is only the American society that looks down on nursing, bottles after a certain age, pacifiers after a certain age. We have these "standards" for our kids and all we have is kids and adults with issues because of it.
I am not trying to change your mind if it is set. Good luck, but just be sure that you are doing what is right for the baby. |
| posted by Kristhal on 10/12/2008 12:01 AM
|
|
|
|
|
| I totally agree with the last post. My son is 15 months and still nursing. There are so many emotional and immunological benefits to nursing that I have no intention of stopping anytime soon; and I'm currently 5 months pregnant. So, if the issue is does not have anything to do with you personally (i.e. getting tired of it, wanting your body back, wanting more freedom), then continue. It is best for your child. There was a pretty heated post a while back (I can't remember what site it was on), but an interesting fact raised was that our breast milk changes in composition to fight off whatever diseases may be lurking in our area. In the end, it's your decision. But as Khristal (sorry if I misspelled) stated, the US and UK are the only countries that frown on extended breastfeeding. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until 2 years, and, if were talking about the world in general, most toddlers breastfeed until 4 years old. Good luck in your decision. |
| posted by Allison on 10/12/2008 01:08 AM
|
|
|
|
|
| I was so hoping that Allison would post a reply here, and I agree with her, and her post before her's 100%. My son nursed until he was 13 and a half months old, and I wish we went longer. Keep it up - there's no need what-so-ever to wean before one year old. Oh, and BTW - woohoo for baby #2 Allison! |
| posted by on 10/12/2008 08:39 PM
|
|
|
|
|
I agree with what most of the women have said here. I nursed my son exclusively until he was 6 months. The only reason I stopped was because my doctor put me on medication that I could not take while nursing. I have heard of people nursing until their child is 2-4 years old and I'm not really sure I understand that, other than for the security and the immunities that it may provide. It is important until a year old if you can do that, and I think that is the age that most pediatricians recommend. Unless their is a personal reason that makes you not want to nurse anymore, I would say their is nothing wrong with waiting.
When you do decide to stop though, the easiest way for you and your baby is probaly going to be to do it gradually. Cut out the easiest one first, usually a mid-day feeding. Then take out another one a week or so later. Continue this until your done. Save the hardest, usually the first in the morning and the last one at night, until the end. Doing it this way will help your baby accept the transition and allow your milk to dry up slowly which will keep you from being more uncomfortable than you will be anyway. Also, you can replace the nursing session that you stop with a sippy of whole milk (after 1st b-day of course). Hope this helps. |
| posted by Casey on 10/12/2008 09:35 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Did I read wrong initially or didn't Shadena say that she wanted to wean her daughter by one year's old?? So..she's already made the decision to wean. Correct? Now why in the world are there posts telling her she shouldn't? Whatever her reasons are, they are hers alone and she should not have to explain or be made to feel guilty for making the decision to wean her daughter, whenever she and her daughter is ready for that step. I've seen it more times than most when women are given the look of "horror" that they want to wean their child before the age of 12 months as if they are bad mothers. And some mothers are made to feel so horrible or guilty because they CAN'T keep breastfeeding because they can't make enough or whatever the personal reason and they feel like to "be a good mother" you have to breastfeed for one year. However long a mother decides to breastfeed her child, is good for the child and good for the mother, whether it is 3 months or 8 or even 12. The fact that Shadena has breastfed her daughter til 8 months is awesome and commendable because statistically speaking, most moms stop at 3 months old. And her child will not suffer psychological trauma if she's wean off the breast before the age of 12 months. She will not feel insecure or uncared for or whatever. If anything, it's mothers who have the issues because they're worried about feeling detached or don't want to let their baby's "grow up". As long as it's done gradually and the child's temperment is kept in mind, the child will hardly even notice. Fellow breastfeeding mothers should be supportive of each other, even when someone decides to stop it. There's already too much judgment from those who think public breastfeeding is bad, we don't need to get "the look" from other mothers who think we shouldn't stop breastfeeding. Our kids will be psychologically and immunologically GREAT even if they don't get a full 12 months worth of boob juice! |
| posted by on 10/13/2008 10:07 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Actually Cynthia you are right we should never look down on someone who is nursing and wants to stop or to those who are not able and wanted to.
The words that threw me off were and I quote "I can't let her first birthday catch us still with this breast thing" That made it sound like it needed to stop as soon as possible but she cries, so if she cries and probably doesn't like formula and likes the feel and closeness to mommy and is getting upset then how could that not affect a babies feelings? They are able to morn a parent at that age and feel depression so how is it any different?
I know it is not anybodies choice but hers but it was posted on a public board so there are always going to be opinions. I just push that you make sure the baby is ready I know for a fact it would devastate my daughter she is very needy but all babies are different.
Shadena it is awesome you have nursed this long, it might get easier in the next couple of months when she is more into food. Good Luck |
| posted by Kristhal on 10/13/2008 11:02 PM
|
|
|
|
|
When I read the post, I did not take it as the decision had been made. More like she was just worried that she would get to the first birthday and still be nursing with no idea how to start weaning her and with her baby still not eating solids very often. That is how I was looking at it when I posted my comment. Which, my comment did not condem a person for not nursing until a year. From the post, it just seemed like that was the time she planned to start weaning, so that where my suggestions started.
I do have one question for you though Shadena. You said your daughter eats veggies only every other day or so. Is she still a healthy weight and her doctor said thats ok? I'm not trying to say your doing something wrong or that you should be worried. I had just always heard that you should start your baby on solids (pureed baby food) at 6 months(sometimes 4 months). I started my son on fruits at 5 months, and slowly added a new one each week, moved to veggies, then to meats at 8-9 months I think.
If you do start giving her more solid food, it will probably make the weaning easier, simply because she will be full fromt he food and not need to nurse as often. You said you hate to hear her cry, especially when she does not have to, and I completely understand where you are coming from, but that may end up being your only way to get her to eat solids. You could try having someone else offer her the solids and sippy. Maybe at dinner when another person could be there. You could leave the room so the "milk machine" is not in sight. She might be more willing to take something else if she can not see you. JMO. |
| posted by Casey on 10/13/2008 11:05 PM
|
|
|
|
|
I'm with you Kristhal (did I spell it right this time?). I was struck by the sentence, "I can't let her first birthday catch us still with this breast thing". This led me to think that maybe someone had told her she needed to stop breastfeeding by the time her daugher was a year old.
I'm sorry, but I can't remember the name of the woman who posted thinking everyone was condemning Shadena for supposedly wanting to stop breastfeeding. But I think that this is where the confusion lies: we're not sure if she wants to stop for herself, or for her baby. I think most of us thought the latter, which is why we all encouraged her to forge on.
The way it has happened so far in my family, (remember, I'm still breastfeeding my 15 month old son) is the more solid foods he eats, the less he breastfeeds. Also, when he did start eating more solids, I introduced a sippy cup with soy milk. I didn't want him to get attached to a bottle. He can drink from me and his father's water bottles, and from a regular cup on his own, too. The transition has been totally natural and his own curiosity has led to these changes.
So, Shadena, don't think everyone on this post is condemning you if your personal choice is to eliminate breastfeeding. You gotta do what you gotta do.
**By the way Lauren, thanks for the shout out! Hope all is well with you and your family. |
| posted by Allison on 10/14/2008 12:57 AM
|
|
|
|
|
| The only reason I don't want her first birthday to catch up to me is because I am the only one that she sees on a daily basis. She won't even stay with her father without me being there. She is very healthy and smart. Thank God, she has never even had so much as a fever. So I know the breastfeeding is beneficial, but I am also going to school and financially we are dying. I need to help my husband by going to work myself. We are not making it on just his salary and if my daughter doesn't want to be with anyone else because breastfeeding has her clung to me, then I don't know what we're going to be. That's the only reason I want to take her off the breast. She won't stay with anyone too long before she starts crying for the breast. I don't want to send her to daycare, so my family is who she stays with, but she cries so much when it's time to eat because she doesn't like formula, and she won't take my breast milk from a bottle. She only wants my breast. I'm so lost right now. |
| posted by Shadena on 10/14/2008 10:08 AM
|
|
|
|
|
*hugs* Shadena. I feel for you. I understand what you are feeling because I went through the same thing. And though I loved breastfeeding, I didn't like that I couldn't go anywhere without my baby and have a break. Or my husband and I couldn't go on a date, because my girl wouldn't even take my breastmilk in a bottle. Your baby is using you as a lovey as well as the source of food. And well, if she has the choice between nice warm You vs. a hard plastic, of course she'll choose you. Right? She's smart. It'll be hard but the first thing is to get her used to the bottle (or cup - your choice). If she goes to bottle next, she can still transition to cup fine later. Mine did, so don't worry.
First thing, you gotta find a nipple that she'll take to..something that matches your nipple or as close to it as possible. Also, experiment between types of nipples, silicon or latex, because some babies seem to care. Mine loved Dr. Brown's bottles/nipples. (A little sad for me cuz that's an expensive bottle but that's all she would take..lol). The next step, your husband (or a different family member who's there often, maybe the one who'll be watching her later) has to be the one to give her that bottle with breastmilk. Not you. If it is possible, the best way is for you to leave the house (or go into the other end of the house, and shut the door and keep it closed). Maybe you can go get a pedi or something. Because babies can smell your scent up to 20 ft away. That way you won't hear her crying and you won't have to go through the turmoil of fighting your instinct to running to your baby's rescue if you can't hear her cuz you are out and about. This said, your husband has to be just as committed as you are to get her on a bottle or cup, because your baby will fight you on this, just like she would on any change (i.e. sleep). And you need to try to give her the bottle once every day, so she'll get the pattern and the point. Then as she takes one bottle successfully, increase the amount of bottles you give her a day, slowly. It could happen different ways. She could be fine the first week, and throw the hugest tantrums the second week. Or, the first week will be absolute hell. But stick to it. She's just testing you and trying to get back to what she likes. (Can't blame her) Start that way. Then when she sees that this is a permanent thing and that you two are serious, she'll start taking to the change. You really gotta be consistent with this thing or the process has to be started all over. And I'd start now looking for a nipple, if you want her off by 12 months so you can work, because it just might take a few months to find the nipple she'll suck on, get her to take the bottle from someone else (cuz she won't take it from you when she could have the best thing in the world), etc. But first thing, find a nipple she likes. Maybe something that matches her paci, if she takes one. Then once she's finally taking a liking to that bottle, you can keep pumping or decide to slowly transition her to formula (if before 12 months) or onto whole milk (12 months +) by changing concentrations. Oh, you know what helped mine? I just remembered. My girl at 8 months, got into this thing that she wanted whatever another kid her age had. So when we were at a friend's house, her kid's bottle was sitting up at a table, and my girl just went right up to it and started sucking it. Then she wanted it because her little baby friend was sucking on it, so we gave her one too with a little juice in it, like her friend had. That's how I found out which bottle she liked. I wasn't ready to wean her til 9 months because I had to get my mind and heart ready for it and it took a while for me. But by 10 months, she was exclusively on the bottle and formula. So I guess my daughter was a lot more ready for the change, than I thought she was. Every baby is different. Good luck Shadena. Hope any of us can be of help to you. :) |
| posted by on 10/14/2008 10:56 AM
|
|
|
|
|
With my son i had to go back to work and it took a while for him to take a cup or bottle it has been 13 years so it's a bit vague but I do remember when I got home after work the first thing I did was pick him up and have our time he would nurse or just cuddle but it made him feel secure to know I was gone a while but when I walked through the door he was my priority. That was when we only nursed mornings and nights.
If it is Daddy that tries to feed her suggest skin to skin that might be soothing, tell him when he tries to give her a bottle to take off his shirt and hold her close. Sometimes it's the warmth and feel also that could calm her.
Good Luck |
| posted by Kristhal on 10/14/2008 11:17 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Excellent advice Cynthia and Kristhal. I couldn't agree more with each of your comments. And Shadena, if you haven't already, I would encourage you to purchase an electrical double breast pump (don't even attemp the manual). This way, you can pump both breasts at the same time. It only took me 5-15 min to this. I currently have a Medela (I think that's the name) pump. I really like it. It's a bit pricey, $250.00, but well worth it if you are going to pump a lot.
And, by the way, my son was just like your daughter. I had to completely leave the room, or house, to get him to drink from the bottle. Don't worry, your little one won't starve. She may not drink a whole lot the first time couple of times you leave her, but she'll eventually catch on.
Once again, good luck to you!!! |
| posted by Allison on 10/15/2008 12:59 AM
|
|
|
|
|
| Yeah, the breast pump idea was what I really wanted, but it's a little too pricy for us right now. Is there another brand thats cheaper. I appreciate everyones advice, and I thank you very much. |
| posted by Shadena on 10/15/2008 10:34 AM
|
|
|
|
|
I used a Medela as well..but the Swingline version. It's a single pump and it doesn't have all the extra doodads that I didn't need and so it was relatively cheaper than the others, about $104 or $125 (can't remember exactly but it was under $150). It has different pumping..starts out short and fast to get your milk going..then it goes deeper and longer to pump your milk. It's supposed to mimic your baby's rythym.
You might also want to check with the hospital you gave birth in. Some rent out pumps. Just be sure to STERLIZE really well because they are used. Or maybe your insurance might offer a discount or pay for partial on pumps. It's not something they advertise but some do offer it. |
| posted by on 10/15/2008 11:04 AM
|
|
|
|
|
| I used a single electric pump that I got at Babies R Us for around $70 I think. It was a Medella. |
| posted by on 10/15/2008 11:08 AM
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
| |  |
| |
|
|
|
