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| First Time Moms |
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| I am a stay-at-home mom to my little 6 month old, Brody. My mom is the only one who has gotten to babysit him (6 times for no more than a few hours). She says he's an angel for her. He seems to be a "people person"...always smiles and babbles to strangers or his favorite waitress at the pancake house. But the playroom at the gym I just joined is a whole different story. The second we get out of the car and he sees the building, he starts clinging me tightly and looks like a little owl with his crazy quick head turning. By the time we get to the playroom, he's a nervous wreck. I only work out for about 15-20 minutes because he is a bawling mess EVERYTIME I go and get him. They have even had to come and get me twice. This has been going on 3-4 times a week for a month. The ladies in the playroom say that he'll get used to it eventually but I'm really starting to wonder if that is possible! I feel like a horrible mother knowing that he is going to cry and have a bad time. When should I give up the playroom and just make arrangements with my mom? |
| Posted by yvonne on 10/09/2008 03:35 PM
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| I tried to put my son in a Mother's Day out Program just before he turned a year old. He did the same thing. I would leave him there for only a couple of hours, that was to be my plan anyway, and he could never make it an hour. He dreaded it and after a few times I figured he doesn't know those people and he was just not ready. They told me some kids are just like that, and it wasn't worth putting them through that. He is 2 1/2 and I am a stay at home mom as well, and he has never had a babysitter other than my mom who lives out of state, a few times when we have been down there. I don't know if it is good or bad. I am not going to put him through it if I don't have to. |
| posted by amy on 10/09/2008 04:03 PM
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| I work in a Kids Club in a gym and what I have found works best is building up your time. For example if I were to drop my daughter off I'd leave her for 10 min. And whether she calmed down or screamed the whole time, after 10 min I'd come back in. The next time I'd leave her for 15 min. and do the same thing. And once she could make it though 15 min without crying I'd try 20 and then so on. And usually once they make it through 30 min 3 times without crying they should be fine for you to just go as long as you need. It helps them to adjust because it teaches them that mommy can go away and WILL come back for them and they can even have a good time without you. It also help b/c by this time it's not a new place anymore and the attendants aren't strangers anymore and they should feel more comfortable there. And I think it's better to start when they're younger b/c it's a lot easier to break the "mommy attatchment" then. I've seen this work tons of times. Most of the time the parents are stressed out and don't want to leave their kids b/c they're so upset but if they do this, 9 times out of 10, it works! I hope this helps! |
| posted by Melissa on 10/11/2008 12:55 PM
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| Thanks so much, Melissa! I started your plan yesterday! He was still a screaming mess yesterday, but I just keep telling myself it will get better. =) |
| posted by yvonne on 10/14/2008 07:08 AM
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| I had this problem as well. I had to wait until my daughter was a year old. I tried at 9 months, and it just didn't work. At a year, I tried again, and I would give her to the same girl every time and I stayed a half an hour, then 45 minutes, then an hour or so and she has been fine for over an hour for every time since besides once when she was getting her first molar. I wish I would have started her earlier when she was too young to really mind. I really enjoy my time at the gym, and it is so nice to just have an hour or so a few times a week to work off some stress and for my daughter to learn to play with others. Good luck! |
| posted by Miranda on 10/22/2008 10:35 PM
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Hi Yvonne,
I have a little one that gets upset when I leave too. I'm trying the same thing with our church's daycare for our Saturday night service. I'm leaving her for 10 mins, and I watch the other ladies try and comfort her with hugs... ( ooo, it breaks my heart..) and then I come and help her settle and play on the floor with her. I'm building up the mins each time. I think you're doing the right thing letting him slowly get use to being left with reliable people, when you need to have an hour or so to get your things done. I also think there is nothing wrong with trying again in a few months, if it doesn't seem to be working.
On a completely different path...
I'm not sure if you have this solution available to you (or maybe you can suggest this to your gym), my gym has a parents work-out room. On one half of the room it has a couple of treadmills, a cycle, and a cross-training machine, and on the opposite side it has a baby/ toddler play "pen." The play area has mats and toys, and a sturdy fence with a gate. I took Katie in her stroller when she was little (there is an age limit for the play area) and parked her beside the treadmill. She can see me, and the other moms and their babies, the whole time. As soon as she starts getting about more, I'm going to try her in the play area. I've seen a couple of other babies in there, and they look happy and content.
Good luck and trust your instincts
: )
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| posted by Jackie on 10/24/2008 01:10 AM
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