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| Parents of Toddlers |
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| Hi, my daughter will be 3 yrs old in January and I am not sure if she is going through the terrible twos or if she is just difficult. EVERYTHING is a fight with her and I am about to lose control. She makes it very hard to be with her sometimes. I try to reason with her and explain to her why I say no or if she is misbehaving I take away a priviledge, but that doesn't work with her. So I end up yelling at her which does absolutely nothing, but I don't know what else to do. I am 38 wks pregnant with our second baby girl and I am so tired and uncomfortable that sometimes getting through the day happy is a struggle. Simple things like hand washing or sitting in a cart at the grocery store turns into a problem. I can't take it anymore....anyone else going through this??? |
| Posted by Jamie on 10/03/2008 10:20 PM
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Do you think maybe your daughter is jealous of the baby you are soon going to be having? I can imagine the excitement of talking about it and buying things for the new one. She is probably feeling left out. Maybe try to get her involved in the preparations for the new baby...putting diapers away, "helping" set up the crib, letting her pick out some outfits for the baby at the store, etc. Then maybe get her something that indicates she is a big sister now or something that singles her out individually. That way maybe the transition when the new baby arrives will be a bit less stressful if she knows she can "help"
also, she could be scared for mommy too...another possibility. |
| posted by Katie on 10/05/2008 10:00 AM
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| Thanks for the advice Katie, but we already do that. She is actually very excited about being a big sister and she talks all the time about how she gets to share her toys and teach her things. We definitely make sure that she doesn't feel left out. Hopefully she is just going through a difficult stage! |
| posted by Jamie on 10/05/2008 12:42 PM
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| My daughter Avery will be three in march. She is doing the exact same thing! It drives me crazy! I just had our second baby and she has gotten even worse because it has turned into an attention game! Unfortunately, this independent stage is very healthy and something that the majority of toddlers go through. My advice is on certain issues, let her do it herself, even if it is the wrong way(as long as it is not going to hurt her) and let her find out why it is wrong. on other issues like going shopping, pick your battles! if she is giving you trouble at the store, stop bringing her....or.....bribe her...lol! If i Have to bring avery with me, I go straight to the book isle and let her pick out which one she wants to read, but tell her that she can only read it in the cart....works most of the time..and then just put the book back when you are done shopping. or promise a favorite treat at the end, but bring the treat with as a constant reminder for her to be good. as for the misbehaving...for avery it is a boredom issue.. and distraction works best. going outside or finding a new challenging activity, like puzzles work sometimes....not always though. anyways, it is super hard to be patient at this stage....i can relate...just wait till that new baby comes and you are sleep deprived...you will find it Really hard to be patient then! |
| posted by Dawn on 10/07/2008 04:56 PM
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| Valerie will be 3 in March! She has her moments but is relatively a good girl. I use time outs and "smack on the butt" to calm her down. When she was in diapers I would smack her butt on top of the diapers. (that's if you do that with ur little one) But it was my last resort with my daughter. I tried reasoning and explaining, time outs (only), EVERYTHING and it didn't work. When she is misbehaving, I send her to her room or ask her if she needs her butt smacked or wants to go in timeout and she stops and chills out. I did hear that 3's were worse then 2's though. Once they turn 4 you have ur sweet little baby back. Get her excited about the baby coming if u think that's why she's actin out! Valerie was awesome when I had Emily so I must have done something rigjt. lol Good luck!! |
| posted by Crystal on 10/07/2008 06:24 PM
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Hi Jamie,
I'm going through the same thing with my 2 year old daughter. She is 2 going on 4! My son is 10 months old and he is demanding a lot more of my attention so I think a lot of her acting up is to get my attention. In your case, the baby isn't even here yet. What I do with Meghan is she gets two warnings to stop whatever it is that I don't like, the third time is right into time out. She sits in there for 2 minutes (her age) and I put the microwave timer on so she can listen for the beep. If we are out somewhere and she is acting up then I do the same thing, warnings, and if I have to leave the store then we do (that has only happened once that goodness). When we are home and she is screaming, I ignore it. She is just trying to get my attention but in the wrong way. She gives up after a few minutes. It's hard trying to split my time between the two especially where my son is very clingy. I do my best. Whenever I can I try and give each of them a lone time with me. I wouldn't worry to much about it. It's just a phase. If you yell or show her that it's really bothering you then she's got you. She has your full attention.
I hope this helps and congratulations on your soon arrival!! :) |
| posted by Kristen on 10/13/2008 07:02 PM
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When you show your children that you're stressed out because of their unruly behavior, they got you. They know that they'll get some kind of reaction if they "act up".
Try using reverse psychology on them. When they're crying for nothing, try laughing. Or if they're being pissy about something, be enthusiastic to their behavior, like mock them. They'll get a giggle out of it.
I like playing "mirror" with my son. He loves going to the store because while he's in the cart, facing me, i make silly faces and he tries to copy me. Reading a book is a good one too.
Kids love to be stimulated all the time.
When you think you're having it rough, take a break. Go outside for a few minutes and get fresh air.. It truly helps you maintain patience and a little breather wouldn't hurt you or most especially the kid. |
| posted by hoot on 10/14/2008 02:02 PM
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It also helps to plan accordingly. Go to the grocery either when she's happy and ready, rather than tired and grumpy.
At this age, the kid always wins. I've left carts full of grocerys because my son was being a turd. I'd rather deal with him first than to be just as miserable as him. that way, when he's happy, i can shop in peace.
Don't be afraid to ask for help either from a family member. Besides, you're carrying a load already, i'm sure they won't mind. |
| posted by hoot on 10/14/2008 02:06 PM
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