|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
| Stay at Home Moms |
| Public online group |
|
|
| |
|
|
i have been home with my daughter from day one. she is 2. my fiance just got laid off (along w 45 other guys) and he says he wants to stay home with our daughter for the next 3 months and let me go back to work (he will be returning to his company in january).
problem is, there is more to what i do besides 'playing' with our daughter all day. there is laundry, dishes, other housecleaning, and cooking and running errands. plus er speech therapy 2x a week, and possibly PT soon. and i dont think that he fully understands what is all involved with dealing with a child who has spastic deplegia (mild CP), severe hyper-activity, and microcephaly. he had been worng the 5pm-5am shift and would sleep all day before work and on weekends he would help me but not really do much on his own.
i am afraid that he wont be able to handle it all as i have (and beleive me, i love my daughter but she is a handle full ). i am afraid that she wont be interacted with as she has been because he is so lax about things (our nephew is of the same age as Mel and he doesnt have special needs and can walk outside and not tak eoff cause he sees something he wants for example)
i approached him about it and he insists he can handle it and i should have some faith in him. thing is i feel he thinks this will be a piece of cake thing where he can sit around all day and play with her or maybe sit her infront of the TV while he does something else. (my daughter doesnt have the attention span for TV, she wont sit still unless she is eating but that even doesnt last long).
am i being overprotective, bitchy, or stupid? |
| Posted by ERIN on 09/28/2008 04:12 PM
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
no to all three of those questions. I truly don't think that the fathers know how time consuming being the main caregiver is. I think my husband thinks that I have a piece of cake day but we dont have time for ourselves...we cant be sick or tired or anything like that cause no matter what we have to be there for our children. maybe before you guys make any decisions have him take care of her all day for the two weekend days and see what song he sings then. bet he wont be all into staying home...just an idea. hope things go well.
Heather |
| posted by Heather on 09/28/2008 05:48 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Most men don't get the SAHM thing much. However, some pick it right up. I think that you should let him try it for a few days with you just sitting back and watching him. Make sure that he understands that it's not that you don't have faith but that you feel as though he doesn't get how tough it is. That you know he can do it but you just need reassurance for yourself. Hopefully that will work and help you and him out so that your both on the same page with every thing. Maybe even tell him that you just want to make sure that he gets all of the things that you do down pat because it's very important that you stick to the schedual. Hope that helps. :) |
| posted by Carrie on 09/28/2008 05:49 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Oh and one more thing. Make sure you have him take over and you sit back when it's durring the week and you have everything to do. Pick the hardest days and give him a chance at it, if you don't pick the hardest days then when they do come around then he will be way to overwhelmed to know what to do. Good luck :) |
| posted by Carrie on 09/28/2008 05:51 PM
|
|
|
|
|
I like the idea of giving him a day, or 2 of the routine and seeing if he can handle it. If your child has certain needs she needs to have met, and keep it on time no laxing he can't be lax. She isn't like your nephew, she has speech therapy and won't sit down for cartoons. Also with taking care of her, he has to balance the house duties you do including dinner when you get home. Give him a day, or so of this and he may change his tone. Find a for now job, and leave it to you seeing it's not that easy. Remind him it's not that you have no faith in him, but your not sure how he'll handle it.
Good luck whatever you decide, some men can handle the SAH thing but most I know wouldn't be able to do it. They'd go stir crazy, and don't have much patients as us. |
| posted by Martica on 09/30/2008 08:48 PM
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
| |  |
| |
|
|
|
