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It's impossible to spoil someone by loving them too much, Just tell them you are doing what is rigfht for your family just like they did what was right for theirs and don't say anything else.
Frankly it's no one's business where your kid sleeps or how often you pick them up. |
| posted by Cynthia on 09/16/2008 08:31 PM
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| There is no such thing as spoiling an infant! Evan my doctor told me the best thing is breastfeeding and keeping the baby close to you. Plus co-sleeping helps with depression. Whoever is telling you this is still living the 50's. |
| posted by Alisa on 09/16/2008 10:51 PM
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| I have heard that and still hear that. I just tell them one of two things. I either say they are mine and I can break them if I want (meaning spoil them) or my favorite was if you would like to assume full financial responsibility, then by all means you can and then you can have some input. I do not think you can spoil a child with love, affection, nursing, and all the good stuff. My oldest daughter just went t her own bed at 32 months. She only stays there for half the night then comes back into our bed. Our oldest daughter is one of the most well adapted and laid back child. We receive compliments all the time on how well mannered and friendly she is. Our youngest daughter is only 7 months old and has no interest in sleeping with us, which is fine, but if that changes she will come into our bed as well. I had my babies because I wanted all the good and bad that came with them. Yes, some nights I would love to stretch out but my daughter is more important to me than that. I am rambling on.... Sorry. |
| posted by Shanna on 09/16/2008 10:51 PM
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| I have three children (ages 6 - 3- 18 months), and I have heard every negative & positive comment from everyone in my family & neighbors.... I finally came to the conclusion that everyone is opinionated & finally started telling them when they would "start in on me" that if they didn't like how I was raising my children then they could do 1 of 2 things.....take them off my hands or go F@#$ themselves! When I started giving back to their opinions they started leaving me alone about it and actually telling me what a good job I was doing with my children b/c they were more well behaved & well rounded children! Good luck! |
| posted by Johnnia on 09/17/2008 08:31 AM
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| You are a wonderful mama - keep up the good work! |
| posted by on 09/17/2008 10:15 AM
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| Just remember you are one of those moms that won't be saying "I never held/hugged my child enough" My son is 13yo and he co slept with us until he was 2 he got a new bed and thought it was cool that he was able to climb in and out of it all by himself. He is a loving caring child that I don't have to worry about and he is wonderful with little kids because he knows they just need attention. My daughter is going to be a year next week and she still sleeps with us she is surrounded by nothing but love from us and her brothers. They say it builds self esteem and a positive out look on life, I am all for that, my DH was not given the love and affection that we give our kids his mom even spanked him before a year old and he suffers with a lot of self esteem issues and resents his mom for not ever hugging or even giving much attention to him, but he sees how good this is for our daughter and knows that this is how you are supposed to love your children if anyone "spoils" our DD it is him he refuses to set her down because he doesn't want to be the bad guy. |
| posted by Kristhal on 09/17/2008 10:27 AM
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| Thanks everyone for the boost! He actually slept all night in his bassinet last night and I sure did miss him! but he looked so peaceful I didn't want to move him. I also wanted to know what anyone knows about SIDS. My pediatritian told me that SIDS deaths are actually classified as suffocation deaths now. I wasn't sure if she meant that some SIDS deaths were misclassified as SIDS when they were actually suffocation or that that is what SIDS is, simply suffocation. The reason I ask is that Connor loves to sleep on his tummy and has turned himself over in the night a few times and it scares me to death! What is SIDS exactly? |
| posted by Beth on 09/17/2008 08:58 PM
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ok...so I've actually had this discusson so so many times!
1) SIDS basically means that they died in their sleep and no one knows why.
2) if he can turn himself over he can turn his head whnen he can't breath...so no problem there and...
3) My som had sleep apnea and would have more than likely died if left alone in his bed all night,. I had to wake him up several times a night for the first three months of his life before I could convince his Dr that he needed to be on a monitor. So co- sleeping actualy saved my son's life!
The only thing you should remember is to not sleep with him when...
you have been drinking or taking medication to help you sleep
you are in a position where yuo have nothing to prevent him from falling off the bed
Your his mommy and know when is sleeping with you. I always slept with kittens when I was growing up and my cats woiuld have babbies. If I never squashed one of them...chances are the vast majority of people will feel a human aby under them and move. |
| posted by Cynthia on 09/17/2008 09:28 PM
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| like she said if he can roll over he can turn his head.... if you don't feel comfortable then put rolled up blankets on each side to prevent rolling over if it would put you at ease... babies are smart they know when to move once they start moving. |
| posted by Kristhal on 09/17/2008 09:33 PM
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| My son has a tendency to roll to his side and almost completely over to his stomach too. I find that co-sleeping with him is very helpful, I just prop his head on my arm as if I was holding him (with him on his back) and sleep on my side. This prevents him from moving around too much, makes him feel warm and safe, and prevents him from rolling off the bed because I have in a sort of hug hold with my arm wrapped around him. . |
| posted by Alisa on 09/18/2008 12:24 AM
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I didn't read all the responses, but I just wanted to say:
Just because you're a first-time mom (so am I) doesn't mean that you don't know what's best for YOUR baby. YOU DO! You're his mother and only you know what's best for you, your baby, and your family. Don't be influenced by their way of thinking. You're doing a great job! And you are not spoiling your child in any way. Babies need a Momma's love! |
| posted by Carey on 10/31/2008 11:40 AM
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Check out www.askdrsears.com - He is a pediatrician and has alot of scientific backing/studies for the attachment parenting behaviors. I have his Baby Book for 0-2 years old, and it is a great resource for me.
Attachment parented kids grow better, are happier, cry less, etc etc etc. The list goes on.
NEVER feel guilty for doing the best things you can for your baby's health & emotional development. |
| posted by Bethany on 10/31/2008 06:36 PM
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I have been in your shoes, and will probably be there again. It helps me to read some of the great books that are out there that validate my position. It makes me feel better to see the theory and research behind it, and gives me something to say to the naysayers as well.
I am including a link to a great reading list, if research is your thing:
http://www.attachmentparenting.ca/resources.html
You are doing a great thing for your baby. Don't let other people 'should' all over you. |
| posted by Lisa on 12/19/2008 01:39 PM
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