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| Parents of Toddlers |
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Is anyone dealing with tempur tantrums right now? My daughter is getting really bad with them and I just don't know what to do. We know she has a speech delay and she gets speech therapy for it but she is set off by everything.. as soon as something doesn't go her way she flips out and today was the 1st time it happened in public and I just didn't know what to do. I try to just ignore her but thats not working anymore. It worries me that something is wrong with her but my mom says its normal for a 2 year old.. she just turned 2.
What can I do?
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| Posted by Tammy on 09/15/2008 05:53 PM
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| I don't know if what we deal with is the same but my son is 2 1/2 and he whines for almost anything. I am a stay at home mom and my husband works out of the house so playtime for him is a constant play buddy, if I'm not playing with him my husband is and a lot of the whining is about when he is getting his way. I told my husband that yes it might be nice that you work out of the home but he (our son) needs to realize the entire day does not revolve around him because it does. There was one period of about 3 weeks a few months back where my husband was working on a project outside, so he was out first thing in the morning then in for lunch and out again till 5 p.m and my son was better behaved during that period of time I think than ever. Because he had to get used to the fact that he was going to have to entertain himself for periods of time through out the day. The constant whining makes me want to go in my room some days and shut the door. The worst of it all is he whines for me a lot of the time, if I'm out of his sight for very long, he's okay to play with dad as long as he can see me or can track me down fast, so time in the bathroom is usually accompanied by my two year old, showers, there he is, getting dressed "Mama where are yooooouuuuu." So if that's what you mean by normal, I guess it;s normal for me. Good luck |
| posted by amy on 09/15/2008 06:50 PM
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| Sadly I am dealing with this with my son. He is 15 months old and has already started. What I find works is, I get down to his level and nicely tell him to calm down and let me know what he wants. If he continues and doesn't calm, I just tell him that I will not respond to tantrums and walk away. He then knows that when he stops yelling and crying I will come back to him. This seems mean at first but it works, and you can get a minute to calm yourself down too. Just remember to speak to your child in a stern but calm voice. Always make sure you are on there level on the ground. I think that way they feel safer not like you are being forceful with them. Let me know how things go. |
| posted by Angie on 09/15/2008 10:38 PM
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| My 3 1/2 yr old does this too. It actually just started. She will tell me she wants something, and I will say No. So, she will start this really annoying whining and saying it over and over. I use time out. My daughter is old enough to use her words, so if she is whining or throwing a fit she gets time out. I know if can be hard if you know your child has a delay, you dont want to unfairly discipline them, if you dont know if its something she can communicate. With her speech being delayed, does she understand what you are saying when you're speaking to her? If she understands, then she should still be able to do what shes asked to do, and stop if shes told to stop. Be consistent with whatever you choose to do. Each time, you should tell her.. to try to use her words or point to explain what she wants, but if shes acting out because shes being told No, maybe she should get a time out for her behavior?? |
| posted by Amy on 09/16/2008 02:02 PM
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my daugter is 2 and also has speech delay. her tantrums began before age 2 and i think a huge part of it is lack of communications skills.
please talk to your dr and speech therapist. was she born early? does she have any other conditions? tantrums are a normal way to express dislike and to find their boundries but there is a fine line between a normal tantrum and an indication there may be more to it. do some researchand go with your gut instincts.
what i do is make sure my daughter is laying on a soft surface (the floor actually) and allow her to vent while i stand aside and wait it out. taking to them during these episodes is pointless, they only hear their own screams and cries. so far we havent had any in public yet so i am not sure how to handle that but at home we allow her to vent we just make sure she cant throw things or roll f anything or hurt herself or others. |
| posted by ERIN on 09/16/2008 04:35 PM
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| I agree. I think it's because of the language delay. I've read the book 1-2-3 Magic and it seems like it could work. It does say to wait until their 2, so you could try it. It discusses counting and time out as a form of discipline in order to help with unwanted or bad behavior. My son is only 18 months and he's been doing this both in and out of public for about 3 months now! He's wonderful when he's not pitching a fit, but for now, we are putting him in his crib when he gets uncontrollable. This gives us both a break since he sometimes get to the point where he seems like he's going to hurt himself. I wish you luck, but some of it will be normal. I just hope you can control it and when you do, share the wealth. |
| posted by Lisa on 09/16/2008 09:11 PM
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| my son 17months and climbing everything stands on kitchen tables after you keep saying no he takes a tantrum and he also plays with the stove and tries to turn on the burners i've had to remove them and i just started putting him on a time out and it seemed to work the first few times now he just lookes at me and stares at me at the same time he is doing something wrong i think hes testing me!!!!! |
| posted by deborah on 09/19/2008 05:28 PM
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| my son 17months and climbing everything stands on kitchen tables after you keep saying no he takes a tantrum and he also plays with the stove and tries to turn on the burners i've had to remove them and i just started putting him on a time out and it seemed to work the first few times now he just lookes at me and stares at me at the same time he is doing something wrong i think hes testing me!!!!! |
| posted by deborah on 09/19/2008 05:28 PM
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Tantrums are normal. Kids are new at this communicating thing and don't yet have the hang of it. I have a 3 yr. old son and thankfully I didn't go through the "terrible two's". But not from lack of trying by my 3 yr.old.
I think I understood that tantrums are a way of him trying to get what he wants and not being able to communicate to us so as soon as he started to point and gesture at something I would pay keen attention to him and although I would know what he wanted I would encourage him to ask me nicely for it by saying please and then thank you.
If it's something that he can't have then I wouldn't just say no and expect him to accept it. I would go down to him and explain in short simple terms that it's dangerous. Well first you'd have to teach him what the word dangerous means and once he grasps the concept of it then he knows that he can't have dangerous things. I'm always animated when I talk to him too to keep him interested in what I'm saying. Plus I don't ever ramble on and I usually end in hugs and kisses and any other distracting play I can think of... maybe a tumble or roll on the ground with him and a little tickle... and then I introduce a toy that he can safely play with...
Have patience with her. She's only been around for 2 yrs so give her time to learn everything. My son didn't talk clearly when he was 2 either. Kids develop at their own pace and should never be rushed. Everyone talks eventually. Hope I've helped... |
| posted by Anesia on 09/20/2008 11:32 AM
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| A therapist recommended taking some pictures of common thigns in the house the child uses a lot and putting them in a little booklet, so they can point to what they want if they can't communicate it to you otherwise. |
| posted by Brigitte on 09/20/2008 12:29 PM
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| My son Cullen is almost 20 months old and he tends to have violent tantrums. He'll throw himself on the floor and kick his feet and pound his fists and he'll even bang his head off the floor or walls ect... He will also hit and head butt while he's having these fits and he has an ear-piercing scream tooso you're not alone in this. My mom actually wanted me to talk to his Dr about because she said she's never seen a child have tantrums like him. I've tried everything and nothing works so it looks like we'll probably just have to ride it out. I think he is starting to get better though. They don't seem to last as long or happen as frequently (he used to have 4,5,6+ a day... and they would last anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour) so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully you're daughter will outgrow it soon too. Good luck. |
| posted by Kelli on 09/20/2008 07:02 PM
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