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Hello ladies,
Some of you are aware of the fact that I am currently going through a divorce, this is my second divorce and I have a 2 1/2 yr old son with my current husband. Ladies even though I know the marriage is over I really did feel that my husband would step up for our son and it is becoming apparent that, other than financial obligation, may be fading already. I find myself emotionally,physically and completely exhausted, I am so tired these days I barely get a chance to get on the net or to journal. We have only been seperated for a little over a month but my husband is determined to have everything finalized in 60 days. I just do not know what to do... |
| Posted by Kyleen on 09/07/2008 10:51 PM
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| Be encouraged...I know it can be hard as I was there many years back. It is unfortunate that many times when men seperate from the home they emotionally seperate from the children as well. It's disheartening and so hard to understand how they dont seem to be as bonded with the child once they are not in the home. Maybe it is that they are just not emotionally equipped to deal with it. Maybe the are experiencing this hurt and not sure what to do with it so they choose not to deal with it at all. I dont know. What I do know is that as a mom we have so much strength that we often seem to pull out of a dry well. Just reading many of your post, I know you are strong....vent as much as you need. We are here to listen and support you. |
| posted by Yvonne on 09/07/2008 11:09 PM
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Thanks Yvonne,
Most days I do not feel strong anymore but I am finding that I am taking victories from small things through out my day, like drinking more water or hitting the gym or taking a hot bath. I guess that when things are so up in the air the small things really do count. I am determined to come out of this experience whole, and better than before. |
| posted by Kyleen on 09/09/2008 09:12 PM
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My divorce was the total opposite;My x wanted to prolong in hopes that Id come back to him.He burned everything I owned;but still wanted me to come back.The only thing I can tell you is that you have to pray at night and take 1 day at a time.I did alot of crying and what if?You cant force some1 to change.You regret the time that he took away from you but in the long run youll realize that the both of you will be happier and maybe even get along better split up.As far as the being a real dad,my x has only talked to his 3 kids that I had here maybe 10 xs in 4 yrs.And that was because 5 of those times I called him and made him talk w em.It sux that some men dont feel the inner bond w their children.Some of them could care less but just use the kids as a pawn to hurt us.All that matters is that your son knows that YOU are there for him thru thick and thin and nothing else will matter in the long run.I honestly hate men.I think they suck.They are selfish bastards.Some never grow up and if they do, they have to blame others for their mishaps.All I can say is keep your head up and dont let him efect your heart.Men are not worth it.
Some men are good; but thats probably 1 out of 100. |
| posted by Lexi on 09/15/2008 12:44 PM
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Kyleen,
I would suggest you and your husband to look into using a mediator to help you with your divorce and custody arrangements. These are professionals who are prepared to help you both come to an agreement that will be beneficial to your son's needs. I know it is very easy for a father to seperate emotionally from their son when going through a divorce, so he may need some encouragement from an outside source about his responsibility to his son. Try not to get too involved in this matter, because it WILL drag you down emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually, and you need all the energy you have right now to heal your heart. It is also sometimes helpful to have someone in your family handle the contacts with your husband, if there has been hard feelings.
If you can, think about the possibility of lining up someone you trust who might take your son for 1-2 hours every other day, so you can get a break for you!
Always...peace and love!
Jennifer |
| posted by Jennifer on 09/28/2008 02:54 PM
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Kyleen, I can completely sympathize with what you're going through as I have fought the same battle for the past 6 years with my ex. After recently taking Reiki training and being a strong believer in the law of attraction, I turned my thoughts for my ex (resentment, hatred, dissaproval) into love and sent them his way. I cannot even begin to explain the 360 he has done. He is more willing to spend time with our son, buy him the things that he needs, be more involved in his life... it has been an amazing process!! And not only has he been more "available" to our son, the way he treats/ deals with me has also changed!
When we think about the people who dissapoint us, let us down or just generally "piss us off" we send those negative thoughts their way and it's no surprise, they continue to do what they do that makes us soooo mad! Try sending love his way for just a day or two and let me know if you see anything change!
Remember... you are a great mother to your son and as long as he has you on his side, he will be just fine! |
| posted by Tamara on 10/23/2008 01:05 PM
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