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| Raising Boys |
| Public online group |
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| Does anyone have any ideas for promoting brothers getting along? I have 3 boys, - 8, 5, and 2........the 8 and 5yr. olds fight constantly!!! I have tried rewarding them for being nice to each other (positive reinforcement?) but they didn't care......I am sooo tired of yelling at them, and it doesn't work anyways! Please help!!! |
| Posted by Jenna on 09/02/2008 08:56 PM
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| mine are 12 10 and 4 and i still haven't figured it out my 10 and12 yr olds are the ones that fight constantly |
| posted by jess on 09/03/2008 01:23 AM
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| I also have 3 boys - 5, 4 and 3 years - the fighting is pretty constant. I have to constantly remind myself that the fun times and laughing fits they have are just as frequent and that hopefully, in time, they will grow out of it and come away with best friends. I know it's hard to keep that thought especially when they're cruel to one another - I wish you luck. And remember what they say about how mothers of boys have a special place reserved for them in heaven!! It better be true!! Good luck! |
| posted by julie on 09/05/2008 07:21 AM
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| I have 2 boys, a 1 year old, and a 3 year old, and there's always fighting. In fact I can't stop the 3 year old from hurting the other. It's a constant battle, some days it feels like all I did was yell. I believe kids tune into the fact that it's wrong, and they know they will get a rise out of you. If they aren't hurting each other I let them fight, I don't really think they are enjoying themselves, so when they realize that I don't care they usually stop, or else one finds something else to do. If they are hurting each other, I take away whatever they are fighting over and they are separated. |
| posted by Jackie on 09/05/2008 01:55 PM
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Boys are boys. They are going to fight. No way around it. Sometimes just accepting it is enough to throw them off. You don't yell, just make sure no one is getting really hurt and you will be surprised how quickly they stop when they aren't getting the attention they crave.
If all else fails I have a true story for you (just for a chuckle) about my friend and her two boys. (Now before I tell you this story you need to know that this woman is a good Christian lady and did it just to get their attention not for them to actually do it.) Her boys were about 10 and 12 and they got into a big fight that quickly turned physical, she yelled at them and threatened them with telling their father, but it just made it worse. When she heard them claiming they were going to "kill" each other she had had enough! She went into the kitchen got two knives off the counter went back into the room and dropped the knives on the floor next to the boys and said,"Fine! If you want to kill each other, then do it already!" The boys froze. Then started to cry saying they didn't really mean it and sat on the floor in the living room in silence till their dad came home. They all sat down to dinner when dad asked how everyones day was. The youngest boy responded with,"Mom threw knives at us!" The dad who never put down his fork till the meal was done, dropped his fork and looked up in shock. His mom replied,"I did NOT throw knives AT them, I threw knives TO them. Totally different!" The boys did fight again from time to time, but they never again did they ever use the word kill out of fear their mom would hand them something worse!
I don't recommend you give your boys knives, but I though I'd share this crazy story! |
| posted by Tiffany on 09/06/2008 04:12 PM
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