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| First Time Moms |
| Public online group |
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Before we had our son, my husband and I had a fairly active social life. Now some of the people we were closest with seem to be strangers, even those with children. I know that becoming parents changed us, but does that mean we can't have friends and a social life anymore? Our son is now 8 months old and it's been at least that long since some of our friends have even called us. I have tried talking to a couple of them about it and they don't see that anything has changed that much. Has anyone else had this happen? What do you do about it?
Marcia |
| Posted by Marcia on 05/29/2007 03:56 PM
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| yeah, that's happened but try moving to a new city shortly before giving birth and none of my friends or my husbands friends have kids and everyone lives in a different city. I have no friends over here and don't really know anyone, there are not many play groups and the ones that I belong to aren't very active which means that we don't really get a chance to get out and the closest family that lives over here is an hour and a half away!! So chances of getting out after 8 pm are nil. |
| posted by christina on 05/29/2007 04:08 PM
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| I created a playgroup in my area I have one friend left in the area that we still hang out and talk too all the time and he is practically part of the family. So I created a playgroup to meet other families in the area I made it open to all no matter their childs age and everything our closest friends live in another state so we had to get creative now we are moving to Germany and I found another playgroup over in that area so I have already made friends with some of the moms and everything :) |
| posted by Tessie on 05/29/2007 04:14 PM
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| My husband and I are going through the same thing. We still get invited to a few things, but it's usually last minute and there is no time to set up babysitting. I ended up hooking up with an old friend from college who has two kids. Her and I get together at least once a week just to walk or ride bikes. It's amazing how many people go through this when they have kids. Don't be afraid to make that phone call to unite with an old friend like I did. I think a lot of people are afraid to call when you have a baby because they are afraid of disturbing you. If there is no old friend to unite with try initiating some plans with the peope you used to hang out with. A night out. A cookout, at your house or get a shelter at the park. Kids or no kids. Everyone will probably be happy to hear from you. There doesn't have to be any special occasion, but if you need one, there's always some sporting event on for everyone to gather and watch. |
| posted by Cinda on 05/30/2007 08:42 AM
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Thanks for the input. We do call people we used to go out with. That's the problem- they have become one-sided relationships. We call them, they don't call us. It makes us feel like if they wanted to see us they would call once in a while. I understand if they are afraid we are busy, but still it would be nice if they could call once in a while.
The worst part is that they have kids. The kids could play together. Also, they should understand that parents need a social life too. One of my friends actually called me to go out less than a month after my son was born, but hasn't called since. I told her no, I'm not ready, maybe in a couple months. Now when I do get an invite it's last minute after plans have been made, like I was an after thought.
Sorry to ramble. I guess I just need to vent. |
| posted by Marcia on 05/30/2007 08:51 AM
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| Don't apologize, it's good to vent every once in a while and that's one thing these groups are good for. Just know that you are not alone. Sorry I didn't have any really good advice for you. It will get a little easier though. My daughter is almost 14 months and things are slowly getting better for us. I hope they do for you too! |
| posted by Cinda on 05/30/2007 11:49 AM
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Isn't it strange that so many of us with small children are experiencing the same needs to go out and "get some social air" so to speak... wouldn't it be nice if we all knew each other and lived in the same town so we could make this work?
Do you think people have lost their sense of community somewhere? Why is this not happening for so many of us that want it to happen? |
| posted by Kelly on 05/30/2007 03:52 PM
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| I don't remember all the details, but now that I think about it I remember seeing a story on the Early Show about this. It has something to do with technology. I'm in Terre Haute, IN if anyone is close by and wants a night out? It can be low key mommies having dinner or we can kick it up a notch. |
| posted by Cinda on 05/30/2007 04:13 PM
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| I got pregnent after I moved hereSo I know absolutly noone here and the only playgroup I have found is across the river and they are strange.It is pretty lonely.I cannot even find a babysitter so me andd my husband can go out.I know how you feel .Hope |
| posted by Hope on 05/30/2007 06:59 PM
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As a mom (SAHM) I can relate alot. We still although do keep in contact both way with our friends it is just like who the hek has the time or energy to go out for drinks or whatever it would be. I know by nightfall Im pooped . My 27 mon old son keep me busy.
Boy oh boy I can relate though I tend to miss the good old days when I first met the husband :O))) LOL
Laura |
| posted by laura on 05/30/2007 08:58 PM
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