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Crossing the Line
So, how do you all balance protecting your sons while still allowing them to be "dangerous"? I'm not talking about letting them be violent, but letting them fall, letting them climb, letting them...you know, be boys.

Posted by Kelly on 05/29/2007 03:30 PM

 
i would like to know that too cause lately my uncles and my husband say im babying him and that hes a boy let him fall but im scared and i automatically go to his side before he has the chance
posted by amber on 05/29/2007 06:00 PM

Unfortunately my 15 month old seems to do this all on his own, but I have been using the wait and see method. If he falls I don't immediately rush to his aide, I ask him if he is okay and believe it or not at this age they do understand. He will either get up and go about his business or come to me. Some children tend to be more of the dare devil type and if they are truly hurt you know it.
As for letting them do certain things, like climbing and that, be sure to coach them through it. Say he is climbing a chair and might bump his head I will tell him to be careful and watch his head, he seems to respond well to the guidance. As our children get older they become more aware of their bodies and their surroundings. As long as it isn't something too dangerous with potential physical harm, a scratch or two won't kill them. Hope that's helpful.
Nicole
posted by on 05/29/2007 10:29 PM

I too use the wait and see method. When he falls if he doesn't cry right away I just ask him if he is alright and if he got hurt. But when he starts to cry I go right over and pick him up :)

Jessica
posted by Jessica on 05/30/2007 08:29 AM

Kelly, Thanks for the question. I have the same one. My son is 9 months old and is getting very active. When I do let him do something and I tell him be careful, watch your head etc. I point to what I am concerned about and touch his head etc. They he bangs his head on it and I cringe. It doesn't seem to phase him at all and I feel horrible that I knew he might bump his head and I let it happen. Not horrible head accidents, but like bumping it on the headboard to the bed or on a table. He is like Mom, so what it's just my head. I've always been around little girls, being around a little boy is very different.
posted by Charlene on 05/30/2007 09:30 AM

Micah is 8 mo. old and is so VERY active. I feel as if I'm training myself right now to not be overprotective when he's older. Like I said, he's only 8 mo. and there's still much "protecting" that should be done, especially to his head. But, I don't want to get into the habit of babying him or rushing to keep him from experiencing the injuries.
I grew up as an only girl with three brothers, so I'm pretty rough and tumble. Maybe it's just right now that I feel nervous about it because he is so young...and my first one. Do you think moms are usually the protective ones because we spent 9plus months protecting our bodies during pregnancy that now we're transfering it to our children?
posted by Kelly on 05/30/2007 03:43 PM

I don't know. I've been called over protective, but he is so young that I can't help myself. I want him to learn that certain things will hurt him, but don't want him to get hurt. It is a very hard balance. I'm trying to be there by his side and let him explore, and protect him from the big stuff. I still hover over him and even at 9 1/2 months I see him getting mad at me and wanting to explore as I am holding him back. I'm sure as a mother it is in our blood to protect from conception to adulthood.
posted by Charlene on 05/30/2007 06:10 PM

You know Kelly I would have to say that for the most part it is in our nature. No one ever wants to see there child suffer. Especially when you can see it about to happen, but for the child, part of the learning experience is discovering their bodies in relationship with the rest of the world. Always keep in mind when anyone tells you that you are being over protective, you know your child the best and you know what will and will not hurt them. No one else can compete with that, in my previous profession I had parents of my students asking these same questions. One thing I always made sure to tell them was, you are raising your child and you and your husband have to do what's right for your family, and in this case your child feeling safe and supported. So I guess what I am trying to say is, do you personally feel like you are over protecting him, cause if that's the case then you have an internal battle to deal with otherwise, it seems to me you are doing a wonderful job raising your son, being the BEST MOM you can BE!!! : ) He is coming up on a year and sounds like a happy, healthy and curious child what more can anyone want? Good luck
Nicole
posted by on 05/30/2007 10:58 PM

 
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