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| Raising Boys |
| Public online group |
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| my son is 7 months old, he doesn't want to sleep in his crib at night; he will for his naps during the day. in june he would sleep from 8 pm till 6 am, now he wakes up at least 2 times at night now. i just got back from visiting my family where he slept almost all night up there, but as soon as we got back he went back to waking up in the middle of the night. he also won't put himself to sleep i have to rock & pat his back to put him to sleep. i have tried letting him cry but that never works after a while of letting him cry (sometimes checking on him sometimes not) as soon as i get him & sit down he falls asleep. me & my husband have decided to try for another baby, before he goes overseas(next summer) , i would like this one to be sleeping through the night & also putting himself to bed. any suggestions? |
| Posted by sheri on 08/26/2008 12:14 PM
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| The only thing that worked for me is to let him cry himself to sleep. With my youngest (21 months) sometimes it would take 30 or 45 minutes for him to fall asleep. Its REALLY hard to do that!!! Sometimes I would go get a glass of wine or something and go sit outside for a few minutes. He IS in his bed and should be safe! Also I could still hear my son, it just wasnt as loud and a lot of times I would walk to my neighbors house and have her come sit with me to kind of hold me accountable (or get on the phone) that way you have someone to assure you that he is fine and he will eventually fall asleep. If he cried for much longer than that i would go get him and try again later. If he cries for that long he's probably not sleepy!! You should be consistant with checking on him, either do it or dont, i wouldnt for the same reason id try not to pick him up. Because when you do that you are teaching him that if he cries for long enough you will come get him! that obviously will just make the situation worse! Good luck! |
| posted by Ashley on 08/31/2008 12:50 PM
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| i have let him cry for about an hour almost everytime but never works. he acts all sleepy before i put him in his crib. i'll just have to keep trying someday it has to work... |
| posted by sheri on 08/31/2008 10:00 PM
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| Personally I think crying it out is kinda cruel. Babies can't tell you how they feel or what they need. The whole point of crying is precisely so that you come to them and that's how they learn to trust that you will always be there for them. Sometimes they just need to be held. You can't just force a schedule on a baby. It's something they learn over time. |
| posted by Mommy Perez on 09/01/2008 01:00 PM
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| I wasnt suggesting that she "force" a schedule on the baby, as a matter of fact I said that if the kid cries for more than an hour she should go get him because hes probably just not tired!!! But the fact is that after about 6 months of age they can learn to cry for manipulation. If you KNOW he's tired, full and clean. there is NO reason you cant put a kid in his bed, where he is safe, and help him "learn" to self-sooth. MOST mothers can interpret their child's cries and can eventually tell the difference between somethings wrong, and i just want to be held or i dont want to sleep in here... I had 2 pediatricians, and therapist, a behavioral psycologist and a speech therapist ALL tell me to let him cry OBVIOUSLY if THAT MANY health care professionals TOLD me to do that its not going to cause any catastrophic damage to my kids. Also, letting them cry it out DOES NOT cause trust issues as long as you attend to their needs when they ACTUALLY NEED something. You can actually hurt SOME kids by coddling them everytime they cry... thats why we have so many spoiled brats in this world...because some parents jump everytime their kid says... The cry-it-out technique WORKED for my kid. That doesnt mean it will for EVERY kid nor am I trying to say that that is the only way to do it. Every parent has to figure out what is right for their kids. |
| posted by Ashley on 09/05/2008 10:31 PM
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Never, ever let your baby cry themself to sleep. All it does is teach you not to hear your baby anymore. I know families who can tune out their baby's cry while they are in the same room. Let your son sleep in your bed, he will wean from wanting to be in your bed naturally around the age of 2.
Your baby's reactions are completely normal for a 7 month old. Developmentally, this is where he should be, and you should be proud.
No, it won't ruin your marriage and no it is not a bad habit. Try reading these books: "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and "Nighttime Parenting" by Dr. Willima Sears www.askdrsears.com |
| posted by Julie on 09/08/2008 10:49 PM
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| posted by Julie on 09/08/2008 11:21 PM
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I really hope you check out www.askdrsears.com
Did you know that professionals do not take courses on how to raise children? That means, they don't know whether or not you should let your baby cry it out. In fact, it isn't even fair to ask them this question because it's not a medical question. When they tell you to let them cry it out, it is because they are drawing from their own parenting experiences.
For those of you not familiar with Dr. Sears, here is a bit of background. He is one of the leading pediatricians. He and his wife Martha, who is an R.N. write their books together. They use real life experience and the lives of their patients to put their books together. They have 8 children. The first 3 were not attachment parented, but they like the parenting style so much, they now attachment parent their own children. One of their children is "High Needs (colicky, needs lots of attention), one has ADHD, one has Downes Syndrome, and one is adopted. You can tell from their writing that they have truly lived their experiences and they really love and understand children.
I have been given so much bad advice by professionals. I've even had my pastor tell me that my 4 month old was manipulating me! The bottom line is, you have to search your feelings. Think about how you would naturally respond, and go with it. You are the best Mom for your baby. |
| posted by Julie on 09/08/2008 11:24 PM
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1) A child pshycologist and a child behavioral pshycologist ARE trained on how babies brains work, as much as we know anyway, and ARE the best people to give you SUGGESTIONS depending on their evaluations of your child's personality...
2) How can you say that professionals arent trained on how to raise babies, they only use their own experiences and then suggest Dr. Sears?? who by your own admission is a pediatrician and therefore no more qualified to tell us how to raise our kids than our own pediatricians??!
3) Not ALL children "naturally" wean themselves from your bed at age 2. My son is 5 and still wont sleep in his own bed and my cousin is 13 and would sleep with his mom if she would let him. IN MY OPINION Letting your child sleep with you only temporarily makes things easier for YOU and in the long run makes it harder for you, your spouse AND your child. And since I HAVE Co-slept I can say that!!! THe bottom line is that while we can give each other SUGGESTIONS and ideas about what works for OUR kids, every technique doesnt work for every child or every family, we all have to do whats best for us. Putting down someone else's SUCCESSFUL techniques is counter-productive and rude. The point of these sites are to HELP each other and make each other feel better about our situations not make each other feel like horrible parents because you dont agree with techniques that have helped with our children.
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| posted by Ashley on 09/09/2008 12:42 AM
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