|
|
| First, get her out of your bed. That habit will last until she's 10 (or older) if it starts now. Second, how exactly does she "refuse" to sleep in her bed? I assume she is in a crib so she can't get out. I used CIO (with a baby monitor) with my girl at that age b/c I knew she wasn't hungry, thirsty, wet, or hurt. She just didn't want to miss the fun. After about a week of crying for @ 30 min a nite, she finally settled down and goes to sleep just fine. She is 2 now and I think that the CIO helped when we transistioned her to her toddler bed because she knew that I wouldn't come in right away so she just goes to sleep or plays for a bit then goes to sleep. |
| posted by Katie on 08/24/2008 01:19 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Ok, I have put her in her crib asleep and since she moves around so much she hits the sides and wakes up screaming. I'll come into the room and she will be standing up and screaming her lungs out. I tried putting her in her bed while she was still awake and she screams for hours. No exagerations at all. The last time lasted for 2 hours and 17 minutes before I gave up and picked her up. By this time she has made herself sick by screaming and it took me another 35 minutes to calm her down. I really don't know what to do. |
| posted by Sarah on 08/24/2008 05:18 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Sarah,
I am not a fan of the CIO method, and when my son would cry before bed (at any age, but he's 2 now) I would rock him to sleep, or soothe him any way I could...I would have put him in the bed with us if that's what it took. I don't think that if your daughter is going through a phase where she wants to sleep in your bed that this will last for years and years necessarily...soon you'll be able to explain things better to her and she'll understand. I'm not sure why she's waking up screaming...maybe look into night terrors? I've heard they're rather common at this age. I'd keep her in your bed until this phase passes. At least she'll know if she wakes up scared, she's with you to get some comfort. I'm an attachment parenting fan and not a Ferber fan at all, so that's where my opinions come from...hope this helps, and good luck with whatever you decide. :) |
| posted by on 08/25/2008 10:32 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Lauren,
I agree with you 100% about banning the CIO method. It about killed me listening to her cry. She's not to bad when she joins us though it does make intimate time a little harder. I have to admit that I enjoy cuddling with her so I'll give it some time and see how it goes. The good news is that she's sleeping better. |
| posted by Sarah on 08/25/2008 11:52 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Oh good to hear! I bet before you know it, she'll be feeling up to sleeping in her own bed again, and you'll miss the snuggles from your baby :) (But you'll get to enjoy the ones from hubby, hehe).
Take care! |
| posted by on 08/25/2008 12:39 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Sarah,
I feel your pain! My daughter who is 2 just started to give us a problem at bed time. She was always a great sleeper for naps and bedtime. We would read her some stories, give her a kiss good night, and off to sleep she went. About a few weeks ago she started saying "want to sleep in mommy's crib." It was around this time she started to cry out in her sleep. Come to find out she is experiencing night terrors. It happens almost every night but she can go a few nights with out them. I let her sleep in our bed because I was so upset she was going through this. She would still have them in our bed. After 3 nights of me not getting any sleep I knew she had to return to her crib. It's been a hard adjustment but she needs to sleep in her crib. Her not wanting to sleep in there is not from the night terrors it's because she's stubborn and very strong willed. When children experience night terrors they do not remember them. So I know I'm not doing any harm by letting her sleep in her crib. If anything I'm helping her stay safe.
It is true that if your daughter stays in your bed now it might be a battle to get her out 4 or even 5 years from now. My nephew slept on my brothers bedroom floor in a sleeping bag until he was 6 because he alway slept in their bed and didn't want to sleep alone. You need to teach your daughter that it's okay to sleep in her own bed/crib. Do you and your husband plan on having more children? I also have a 9 month old son. When my daughter cries because she wants to sleep in our bed she wakes him up. Now I have to crying children at 9 pm. If you don't take care of this now and decided to have more children, your going to have your hands full.
Trust me, I love snuggling with my daughter and knowing that she loves it as well. It kills me to put both of my kids in their cribs but I know it has to be done. If I don't get a good night sleep then I'll be no good for them the next day. I want to be a fun energized mom. Plus I want a lone time with my husband. It doesn't happen a lot during the day so I feel night time in our bed is our a lone time.
I hope this helps. :) |
| posted by Kristen on 08/25/2008 02:51 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi ladies,
I just wanted to add something if I may.
I've read so so many books and every single one of them says CIO is the ONLY way they will learn to fall asleep. Once they can fall asleep on their own if they do wake in the middle of the night they can fall back asleep. We tried everything with our first son Aiden, eventually the only thing that worked was CIO. YES it was torture and my husband and I would always end up bickering because the stress level was so high but within two weeks it worked! He's not hungry, and if we give him a few minutes he can fall back asleep. He's created a bedtime routine for himself, with his music and flashlight in bed and he wakes up still around midnight, he hits his aquarium to play and falls back asleep!
The problem I have now is my daughter is 10 months and still waking up in the middle of the night. We have tried the CIO method with her but didnt stick to it because we didnt want her to wake her brother. Boy can she SCREAM! So by rountine I get up get her a bottle, change her and leave her in her crib with a noise machine on and SOMETIMES she'll sleep thru the night but then again some nights she wakes twice for a bottle, go FIGURE!!
I know I need to follow my own advice but not tonight, tonight I need some sleep. I've come to terms that it's EASIER to give her a bottle and change her so I can get back to bed.
I keep the thought what my pediatrician said about this matter, "If I were to do nothing about getting her to sleep thru the night she will eventually grow out of it"
So there you go ladies! Good Luck to us all:) |
| posted by Yoni on 08/25/2008 10:31 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| I think that we'll be okay with her sleeping with us for a while. Since she tosses and turns everywhere we'll probably end up buying a big girl bed. I know she's only 1 but it might help with keeping her asleep. We found out that she had had a ear infection and its been treated so she's much happier. At least if she has her big bed she shouldn't be woken up by hitting the side rails. Keeping our fingers crossed... |
| posted by Sarah on 08/26/2008 11:57 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Good luck Sarah - enjoy your co-sleeping little honey bunny!
Also, check out Dr. Sears' website on attachment parenting...interesting stuff...shows why he (and I) strongly oppose CIO.
Take care! |
| posted by on 08/27/2008 09:42 AM
|
|
|
|
|
| Another question, do you think maybe she wakes up and is scared of the dark? We got my girl a glo-worm that she can press the tummy and the face lights up (not brightly) and i think that helped her for when she woke up at night. |
| posted by Katie on 08/27/2008 02:16 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Sarah,
Have you tried moving her once she's sleeping? We're having a similar issue with our 1 year old. She won't fall asleep in her bed, but once there she usually sleeps through the night. This might not be the perfect solution (we're trying to teach her to go down in her crib, but it's been a slow process...), but at least it would get her back in her own bed and allow you to get some uninterrupted rest.
Good luck,
Ilda |
| posted by Sara'sMom on 08/28/2008 09:53 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi and thank you for all your advice!!
Emily does have a nite light and we have been trying to move her into her own bed once she falls asleep. It has been a slow process but hopefully we're making progress. I'm hoping that it will all work out soon. |
| posted by Sarah on 09/04/2008 01:14 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| I strongly believe in co-sleeping. My husband and I are in agreeance. |
| posted by on 09/05/2008 12:25 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Sarah
I have a daughter who just turned two in july. She slept with us since she was born. I moved her to her own bed when she turned two and we have had no problems. She cries some nights for maybe 5 minutes and its done. So if you decide to let her sleep with you don't worry about her getting used to it because if you time it right she will go back to her bed.
As for the crying is she teething? Mine was having nightmares for a while and she would wake up screaming like that.
My advice is to whatever makes you and your baby happy and comfortable. Only you know what is best for your own baby. |
| posted by Lindsay on 09/05/2008 10:42 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Sleep problems are the worst! It makes it really difficult to function with little sleep.
But I totally agree, only you know what is best and works for you and your baby!
We got our daughter a twin size bed instead of toddler which allows us (mostly me) to lay down with her if she needs it.
She has been sleeping in it since she was a year and a half, and sometimes she will come get into bed with us, but for the most part she sleeps through the night. We gave her the choice to sleep in her crib or the big bed. She would usually choose the crib but one night just decided on the big bed and has been there ever since. Maybe you could give her the choice, mommy's bed or her bed. Or if you have the space maybe move her bed into your room? |
| posted by Jen on 09/05/2008 12:48 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| We also did that. She has a daybed and loves it. Because it is a "big girls" bed. We started off laying there and putting her to sleep but now she does it on her own. We also started in the room with us but that didn't work out so well but it might in your case. Every child is different. That is something we all need to remember-one thing doesn't work for every child. So you may end up trying a butch of different ideas until you find one that works. Good luck. |
| posted by Lindsay on 09/05/2008 01:47 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi, Sarah,
We have a two and half year old little girl and a 7 month old girl. Our oldest slept with us until about 3 weeks ago. She wanted to sleep in her big girl bed in her room, and of course, by all means we said. There were certain times I wondered if she would ever leave, but then I reminded myself that she will be grown and gone with children of her own before I konw it. It is then that I will wish she would still want to snuggle with me. My husband also fully supported her sleping with us. Our other daughter doesn't need/want us. She is content to sleep all by herself.
My theory is, unpopular with my in-laws, but that doesn't matter. I believe my child is not an inconvience, but a gift. I will always let her sleep with me, hold her, cuddle her. I will stop what I am doing, get off the phone, computer, or whatever to be with her. She is my world and so is her sister. We practice AP and it has given us a wonderfully adaptable toddler and an amazing infant. Our 2 year old knows she can always count on us to take care of her and her needs. In our minds with CIO it teaches them that they can not depend on their parents, they have to learn to self soothe. I don't understand why a people try to teach a one year old to self soothe, I am an adult and still have trouble sometimes self soothing. I am starting to ramble....
My two cents. |
| posted by Shanna on 09/07/2008 11:36 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Right On Shanna! Great post! |
| posted by on 09/08/2008 09:43 AM
|
|
|
|
|
| I have a similar problem with both of my girls. My 3 1/2 yr old never stopped waking up in the middle of the night. Ever since she was an infant taking a bottle, and then eventually, just a pacifier, and then nothing... she still wakes up and gets in my bed. She will lay in her bed to go to sleep just fine, but always get in my bed during the night, and I dont know how to make her stop. My other daughter just turned 2 in July and I have always held her to put her to sleep and then placed her in her bed. And, she too, will wake up crying and want to sleep with me. I think it will get better for her to go to sleep by herself, but I dont know why they both wake up during the night. I have two boys who are 4, and 2, (i have twins) and they have never had a problem going to sleep or staying asleep in their beds. ?? Any suggestions? |
| posted by Amy on 09/09/2008 12:03 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Shanna, I couldn't agree with you more! |
| posted by on 09/09/2008 10:52 PM
|
|
|
