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| First Time Moms |
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Please can someone give me any more ideas on how to make my son stop crying when I'm not holding him?
He turned 8months on Aug 4th and if I sit him down with loads of toys or in the high chair or anywhere he cries. It doesn't matter if he knows I'm right behind him or in front of him, he just wants me to hold him. SOMETIMES I can get him to be ok with sitting without me holding him and he be ok until I need to get up to either get his food ready(bottle or baby food) or go to the bathroom and then he'll just bust out screaming crying. I just don't know what to do anymore...I've tried peek-a-boo games around the house, using the sofa or wall but he doesn't seem to think its funny it just makes him cry harder...I've tried telling him I'll be right back and make any trip out of the room short but that doesn't work...And I've tried the C.I.O method and nothing, NOTHING seems to work. Please does anyone else have any ideas? I don't think I can handle it anymore, he just cries if I'm not holding him. He has 8 teeth, so I don't think it can be teething. I mean with me being a S.A.H.M he sees me ALL day EVERY day. I thought maybe a weekend with his grandparents might help, ya know get a break from me so he knows he can do without me for a little while, but that failed. Even if my husband, his daddy is playing with him and I walk out of the room he freaks for a minute then remembers his daddy is right there.
I just need help, I don't want him to do this anymore...any ideas? |
| Posted by Amers on 08/09/2008 06:13 AM
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I am experiencing a similar thing to a lesser degree. My baby girl is almost 4 months and she cries and cries when she gets fussy when she is ready for either nursing or napping; particularly when daddy is holding her at that time. I too am with her everyday that is until I go back to work in 2 months. So, we just tried this method this weekend and as with anything it'll take some trial and I think repetition will be key. The minute she wakes up, daddy gets her for everything, diaper changes, play time, and bottle feeding (since that too is being introduced to her now). I'll tell you how it goes.
Also, I found that letting your baby be held by your family and friends when you're out with him will also help him have less separation anxiety. When I'm out visiting friends/family, I rarely hold her -only when it's time for nursing. I'm definitely finding that she doesn't mind being held by others.
Good luck! |
| posted by Loan on 08/09/2008 11:14 AM
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First of all, I think my daughter and your son have the same birthday! LOL. This must be very frustrating for you! Has your son always done this or is it a recent change? I think around this time, a baby can get separation issues. I don't think it lasts very long, not sure though. I wish I could be more help, but I am also a sahm and I know how exhausting it can be when my daughter just wants to be held ALL day. Have you tried a baby dvd as a distraction? If I can't hold her when she wants it, I just talk to her the whole time, not sure if that helps her or me. Is he moving around, crawling? Sometimes I will put my daughter across the room and go do what I need to do and she follows me, I think that is a distraction for her - making her "come get me". I wish I could be more helpful, just remember that this too shall pass. Hopefully sooner than later!
Jennifer |
| posted by on 08/09/2008 09:05 PM
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| My son had separation anxiety and big time stranger danger at around 8 to 9 months. My friends little boy (21 months) will still at times get really clingy and only want his mom. I think it is probably just a phase your little son is going through, but it doesn't make it any easier for you! I remember one week when my son wanted to be held 24/7 (wouldn't sit in a highchair, wouldn't play on the floor, didn't want daddy, wouldn't even nap unless I was right beside him) by the end of the week I was about to go crazy. A glass of wine at night after he was in bed helped me to relax :) It is already hard enough to get anything done with a little one, but trying to get things done with a baby attached to you is REALLY difficult. I did use a carrier for a while so that I could at least vacuum or do some light cleaning. We ate a lot of takeout that week! Stay strong! I will say lots of prayers for you!! |
| posted by Tina on 08/10/2008 12:36 PM
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Well Brandon loves other people, he will go to pretty much anyone who puts their hands out(as long as they aren't loud, he doesn't like loud noises, or loud people). Well most of the time my husband is off to work before he wakes up from his morning nap(he takes 2, one in the morning and one in the afternoon) so really the only time they get together is for about 2 hours after my hubby gets home from work and before Brandons bed time...and of course on the weekends. When this first started it was because he was teething and it only lasted a little while but it wasn't this bad. Its only gotten to the point where I can't really put him down in the past month. He is in the process of learning how to crawl and walk, he will pull up on anything and try to walk with it but the crawling isn't going very well. He likes his movies, we have about 5 different baby einstein videos and a elmo video and he loves them but now they just won't do when I'm not around. When I sit him down I just tell him that I'm right behind him or next to him and he'll be ok but he still crys, and when I need to go out of the room I tell him I'll be right back and then I talk to him telling him what I'm doing or I sing to him(ABCs, Oh Macdonald, twinkle twinkle and so on) and he still crys. I mean I would use the baby carrier that I have if he fit in it, his thighs are and have been a bit too thick to use it. I thought that spending time with my parents he would help him not be so attached but that really hasn't seemed to work, even tho it gives me a break and my parents love it(he's their only Grandchild)...Thanks for all the advice
Oh yea Brandons bday is Dec 4th...the day before my hubbys |
| posted by Amers on 08/10/2008 05:54 PM
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