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| Hi, I have a question for everyone. My son will usually wake at about 7:00, have breakfast, and then take a bottle in his playpen and watch a video while I go get ready (say about 45 minutes tops). Then we go for a long walk, play, have lunch, take a nap, play, and then he is back in his playpen to watch Sesame Street from 3:00 to 4:00. After Sesame Street we play again, then get dinner ready and Daddy gets home. Is this too much time alone in the playpen? I really need the time in the morning, but should I skip the afternoon siesta? I have been told by my family that it is good for him to be alone and play by himself (he just chills out and plays) but I still worry. Should I just ditch the playpen all together? I can always put him in his crib with some juice while I get ready in the morning. Any advice is great. Thanks! |
| Posted by Tina on 08/07/2008 02:11 PM
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I say if he doesn't mind being in there, and it helps you out, then why not. It will help him learn that it's okay to play by himself sometimes... I did the same thing with my daughter, but I had to stop because she hated being cooped up in the playpen all the time, and she would start to cry and scream. So I suggest you use that time while you've got it.
How old is your son? |
| posted by Becky on 08/07/2008 02:34 PM
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| Hi! Thanks for the advice. I get so much done when he is in his playpen, but some people have said that playpens are not good for their development. My son is 17 months old and he seems to be a healthy, happy little guy. I think I will take advantage of his playpen cooperation while I can :) |
| posted by Tina on 08/07/2008 03:08 PM
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For about 45 minutes twice a day is not anything that will be bad for him. He is fine with it it's not like other children I have known that they get put in one place for hours (swing,playpen,carseat,etc...) You are still around he is safe and I am sure if he were to cry you would pick him up.
I wish my daughter liked her playpen for any amount of time I think the longest was about 7 minutes and then she was done. I have to get morning things done with her at the tupperware cabinet praying she will play for atleast 15 minutes on her own so I can get coffee done and some breakfast. If she is on the floor with her toys I have to be there also if not she will just crawl to the nearest crumb she can find and start to put it in her mouth (no matter how much sweeping or vacuuming I do they appear out of no where)
So I envy the fact you get time :( just playing but it doesn't sound harmful and it is not like you pawn him off in there. |
| posted by Kristhal on 08/07/2008 04:00 PM
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| Thanks! I guess I just feel mommy guilt :) I play with him one on one for at least 3 hours a day, and then we also clean together (he likes to mop the floor with a rag :) and take walks. I just always worry about him getting enough attention. I think you are right though, I should just thank my lucky stars :) |
| posted by Tina on 08/07/2008 04:15 PM
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| In my opinion, at 17 months the playpen should be up. Our pack n play was out until our daughter was about five months old and our 6 month old has said goodbye to the thing as well. I get up in the morning with my husband and take a shower and get around. I then wait for the kids to get up. While I wait I try to get as much done around the house as possible, so then I can play with them. My daughter took showers with me when she was that young. She would sit in the back of the tub and play in the water. I know you have a son, but I think it would e fine for him to be in the back of the tub. I also understand how active they can be at this time, but why can't he have alone time on the floor? I am sorry if this upsets you, but it is my opinion. Hope it helps a little bit. |
| posted by Shanna on 08/07/2008 10:18 PM
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Shanna, I get what your saying, my daughter is 10 months, and cannot stand the playpen. she always plays on the floor, we have gates in all the doorways, and nothing within her reach... But, Tina's son, unlike our kids, has no problem sitting in the playpen. Why shouldnt she take advantage of it? I mean its not like she puts him in there all day, its only a short period of time, and he isnt crying, just playing quietly. So while you may not use the playpen anymore, why shouldn't tina use it until her son out grows it?
Honestly I am jealous, I wish my daughter would stay in it and play quietly! lol, i say take advantage of the free time while you can... he wont want to stay in there much longer. |
| posted by Becky on 08/07/2008 11:22 PM
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| I totally agree that there is nothing wrong with putting your son in the playpen for a little while each day. I wish my son would've done that, however i would put him in his room with a few toys while i would shower when he was that age, with a gate up, he just refused the playpen, he is almost 3 now and i really think that has helped him, he plays very well by himself and his imagination is out of this world. I think kids need alone time to play and use their imagination, as long as you are still giving him the attention he needs, an hour or two a day, in my opinion will only benefit his creative side |
| posted by kristi on 08/08/2008 01:55 AM
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| I think independant time away from mommy & daddy is really important for little ones this age. It teaches them independance, inhibits creativity, and prevents that 'clinginess' you sometimes see when out and about. My son is 16 months and I've always allowed him to have independant play away from me (of course in a safe environment) and I think he is more well-rounded because of it. He doesn't get upset when I leave the room. He doesn't flip out when we go somewhere he doesn't recognize. He is very 'go with the flow', which I think stems from his ability to be indpendant of me, at times, during the day. I think you are actually doing a disservice to your little one if you don't give them some alone time. Congrats on your little ones positive response to the playpen. My son hates his now. Everyone needs a little 'quiet' time, especially your little one. |
| posted by Heather on 08/08/2008 08:51 AM
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I did not say that alonetime was bad. I said putting them in the playpen was. At 17 months he has great muscle developement going on. I am not sure of the size of your playpen, but most I have seendo not allow a great deal of room for movement, like an open floor does. I personally have never agreed with the use of devices to keep children content, happy, or out of the way. We have never owed anything but a bouncer and that was because our youngest needed to sleep in an almost upright position due to health reasons. I understand that children need alone time and so do mommies, I personally do not like the idea of caging them up. Again, what works for one family and another family are different. Tina asked for opinions and I gave her mine.
Additionally, I would like to add that my 2 1/2 year old has no trouble playing by herself and/or with other children. She plays by herself and with me. It depends on her mood, but she is fully capable of keeping herself engaged. |
| posted by Shanna on 08/08/2008 09:07 AM
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Hi Tina,
I have two little ones and finding time to yourself can be a bit of a challenge. If this is something that works for you and your son is content - toss aside the mommy guilt and use that time for you. My youngest wakes up around 5 each morning and after his Dad leaves for work, I leave him in his playroom (there are half doors that lock) and head up for a shower, while the oldest is in her room playing. When I'm done the shower (sometimes she comes in with me) I let the tub fill up and she takes a bath while I do the hair and makeup routine. Get her cleaned up and then we head downstairs to have breakfast. You're not the only one that lets their kids play on ther own. This is a routine that I have honed and it works for me. Both kids are outgoing and social and yet have thier own time to play - please on't feel guilty, being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had and I wouldn't trade it for the world but I NEED to have my shower and my coffee so that the rest of the household can function too =) |
| posted by Char on 08/08/2008 01:08 PM
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| Thanks Ladies! I talked to my mom about this too, and she said that she used a playpen with us. I think the reason he likes it is that this is his only t.v. time with the exception of about 30 minutes of video time with the family at night. His Sesame Street time is very important to him :) He loves Elmo. I wish I could have him in the shower with me, but he hates it. I mean he HATES it. He loves his bath, but can't stand showers. My husband and I have both tried it. As for getting up early as Shanna suggested, I think that is awesome she can do that. Unfortunately our son wakes the minute we do. Even at 5:30!! We have even resorted to a fan in his room for white noise, but I swear he must have bat ears, because the minute our eyes open he seems to know. We have tried to be stealthy and sneak around, but he still seems to know. Thanks for all the opinions ladies! It is good to bounce things off of others. |
| posted by Tina on 08/08/2008 02:12 PM
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| That's what we're here for. Your little one is absolutly adorable, enjoy this time that you have with him. My oldest is almost three and I can't believe how fast she has grown, almost in the blink of an eye =) I really enjoy being a SAHM and am glad that I had a chance to see all of thier "firsts" and seconds and so on!! |
| posted by Char on 08/08/2008 03:42 PM
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| Thanks Char :) I think your two little ones are cuties too!! You and Kristi both mentioned your little ones having alone time in their rooms. I never thought of that, but I don't know why I couldn't put up a gate and let him play in his room. It might be a nice change of pace for him. Plus having him in his room might encourage him to more creative play and give him more toys to choose from. That way I could still get ready in the morning and get things situated for the day. I have a small t.v. in our kitchen that I can always put in his room for Sesame Street time, so it wouldn't really change his routine at all. Thanks again to everyone for all your input!!! |
| posted by Tina on 08/08/2008 04:29 PM
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