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| Support Group for Working Moms |
| Public online group |
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Hey everyone! I am looking for people that can relate to the busy life of working moms. Getting up early, packing bags, getting everyone off including yourself, working all day, coming home to dinner, sports, homework, baths etc. Never having time for yourself or your spouse and balancing the feeling of resenting that with the knowledge that this precious time with your children will pass all to quickly.
Making a lot of hard choices like whether to attend the field trip or the mandatory meeting at work. Or whether it is better for your health to get up at 4:00 a.m. to work out or to stay in bed?
Is it better for me to work and set that example for my children, and struggle for nothing, or would it be better to stuggle a little and stay home? Am I not as good of a mother for choosing to work?
These are all struggles and thoughts that I have on a weekly basis.
Any comments or responses are welcome! |
| Posted by Kellie on 07/16/2008 10:37 AM
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| Hi Kellie, i am a single mom of 3 and work fulltime and do everything for my kids. Their dad is in another state. So i am mom and dad work , cook clean , pack bags and now going to go back to school, online so i can relate to you. you and i are superwomen and i applaud us, do keep in touch and take care of yourself! |
| posted by Christina on 07/19/2008 12:07 AM
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Hi Kellie,
I know the feeling. I am a single mom as well, but, I only have one teenage child compared to your 3. My sons father doesn't have anything at all to do with his life, and I pull double duty all the time and struggle to find balance every day. I don't have much option but to work, as i need to earn a living to support my son. So I totally understand your struggle, keep doing what you are doing. Your children appreciate you, and I have to applaud you to for balancing the busy life. |
| posted by Laura on 07/19/2008 05:23 PM
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Hi Kellie,
I also have 3 children at home. When they were babies, it took a lot of planning and getting things ready the nite before to keep my early morning balanced, and helped to make it less stressful. My children are now 17, 11, and 9yrs,and have responsiblilities that need to be taken care of within the home. You will be amazed at how much they want to learn, and grow doing new things. My children started out at the age of 5yrs doing little things that 5 yr olds can do, and now all of them help cook ( at times may even argue who is cooking because they all want to do it) and help with keeping the house tidy and even help do laundry. This is all part of the work ethic before they go and find a job outside the home. Employers will thank you. It is very important for children to have structure and will understand better, why you do what you do.
A happy Mom = Happy Children. We sometimes need to do what we need to do. If working helps with paying the bills then that is what you must do. I know for myself I have debts that have to be paid. If I do not pay them, then I am not being responsible, nor setting a good example for my children. I want something better for my children, and I want to teach them to live within their means.
I know sometimes there is no easy answer, and I love having a place to chat with other mother's just like me.
I have a goal to work from home and be able to replace my outside income, and I am now working with a fantastic group of moms that have the same goals I do. I would love to share it with every mom that is looking for the same thing.
I know that a date night with the spouse is something that is suggested depending on what your willing to spend either weekly/monthly.
Keep in touch!
Melissa
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| posted by Melissa on 07/19/2008 07:53 PM
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Thanks everyone for you responses! Nice to hear other mom's POV's.
An update: I have been talking to my husband a lot lately about whether or not it is necessary for me to work. About a year ago, I layed all the ground work for a in home childcare license, but then never stopped working.
After looking over the budget and the amount that we pay every month for childcare ($1200), we recognized that if I were to have a childcare in my home we would substantially more revenue then we do now.
So as scary as this is because it is a big change . . . . I am going into work tomorrow to turn in my notice. The plans have been made for over a year now, I think that it has just been fear of change that has held me back. And now that I have made this decision, I have a very calm and happy feeling. |
| posted by Kellie on 07/20/2008 06:30 AM
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| Wow! Good luck Kellie in your new exciting challenge. I know that being a working mom is difficult for all of the reasons you stated in this initial post but I also know as a working mom how I stress over childcare for my 2 children. We had a very bad situation with a provider and have learned lessons from that experience and we are trying something new in a few months when I go back to teaching. So many of my friends are stay at home moms so I worry a lot about if I am being a good parent by going to work everyday. It is one of those struggles that we all have to deal with at times. I do feel that my children will be very well rounded and adapt to change pretty easily after all they have been through. Good luck! |
| posted by Trina on 07/20/2008 11:36 AM
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| Congratulations on the big step, and much success. I am sure it will be wonderful. |
| posted by Laura on 07/20/2008 02:06 PM
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Hi Kellie,
That is fantastic news! I would like to chat with you sometime and see how things are going for you! Sometimes stepping out of the comfort zone can be frightful, but so well worth it! I have never had a regret yet! Chin up! The skies the limit! |
| posted by Melissa on 07/20/2008 10:09 PM
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Thanks again everyone!
Melissa, you nailed it! I am a little uncomfortable because I am stepping away from my comfort zone -- I owned a childcare from 1997-2004, but I have worked away since so that is very much what I am used to.
This is the morning that I give my current employer notice. I woke up at 1:00 a.m. last night with my heart racing. I really just can't wait for the meeting to be overwith, then it will be all down hill! -- I'll log in tonight and let you all know how it went! |
| posted by Kellie on 07/21/2008 06:15 AM
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| I am a teacher and have thought about opening a daycare as a way to stay home as well. I just can't bring myself to turn down my retirement , insurance and steady pay. My husband is self employed so I carry the insurance, steady pay, etc. It sounds like you are making the right decision for your family. Good luck! |
| posted by amy on 07/23/2008 09:58 PM
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Amy,
I can relate completely -- that was a huge concern for me as well. It took a lot of planning. I have set up an investment plan for my retirement, however obviously there is no company to match my contributions. My husband began picking up our health insurance, and I would like (I haven't had time yet) to set up a life insurance policy with my insurance company. For me that covers the biggies.
Being a teacher, you get your summers off -- i think that counts for a lot. That is when I most missed being with my kids because I knew that they were actually available to hang out and I couldn't be there.
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| posted by Kellie on 07/27/2008 06:05 AM
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| Great news Kellie! Opening your own daycare sounds so exciting! Please keep us updated on the progress. My sister and I have thought of doing that and I would love to hear how the process goes. I currently work from home and I love my job! But it's a job that is so flexible that I can take on other things so it's def something I have considered! Well I think you made a good move and you will be really glad you made the decision to be home with your kids:) |
| posted by Kristin on 08/22/2008 08:35 AM
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Hi Kellie,
I understand completely!
I am a working mother with a 20 month old son. Going back to work was not an easy choice and I wrestle with the very same questions you are asking yourself just about every day. My guess is that we will probably never get a definitive answer to any of those questions. We'll have to look in the abstract and ask different questions like "Are our children well adjusted and welcomed into other's homes?", "Is my child independent when he/she needs to be?", "Do they understand that nothing in life is free and hard work done well can be something to be proud of?". I felt so guilty dropping my son off a daycare and even though I am so happy and grateful to my daycare provider that he loves it there, a part of me is envious of the time she has with him. Then the pressure to make the most of every moment we are together sets in which rarely turns out the way you think/hope it will. I just try to do the best I can and give it all I've got and hope that he grows into a well-adjusted, kind and productive citizen! |
| posted by Misty on 10/07/2008 08:56 PM
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Hi Kellie, I totally had that schedule till this summer when I started working from home! It's so great, I work with The Mom Team right from my house with my kdis by my side and make a great income as well!
If you would like more info check out my website at:
http://www.OnMomsTime.com
:)
Suzanne |
| posted by Suzanne on 12/09/2008 10:17 PM
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Hi Kellie thanks for sharing, I used to work 60-80 hrs. a week doing landscaping,(I had my own business) It was rough. My ex hasn't paid me a dime since 2002 so I have had to go it alone too. I started working from home last year, and I have leveled out a bit.
Windy |
| posted by Windy on 01/05/2009 02:20 PM
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