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| First Time Moms |
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| So, my little one is going on 2 and she has been a wonder and joy! However she has been alittle defiant and dare i say mouthy... No! seems to be her favorite word.. She does what she wants and the fits are continuos. Her eating has changed a little too, she used to eat but now shes EXTREMELY finiky. Things that would have disappeared into her tummy are now flying across the room.. A little help in understanding if this is ok would ease my frustrations... ANYONE? |
| Posted by Ally on 05/17/2007 02:59 PM
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Ally, it sounds like your daughter is starting to assert her independence. This is completely normal for a toddler.
Set clear boundaries on things that are non negotiable, such as safety issues. Be consistent in enforcing these.
Let her have some choices when it comes to the small stuff. Give her 2 things to choose from for lunch, for example, or 2 outfits to choose from when getting dressed. Make sure all choices you offer are acceptable to you so you don't end up telling her no once she makes a decision. This will empower her and make her feel like a big girl.
Also, don't get into power struggles with her, especially when it comes to meals. Put her food in front of her, give her a reasonable amount of time to eat, and then the meal is over. If she doesn't eat sometimes, don't worry, she will not starve. Just continue to offer food at meal and snack times, and she will get enough.
Hope this helps,
Marcia |
| posted by Marcia on 05/17/2007 03:40 PM
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| Don't be worried Ally. Revel in the fact that your 2 year old is completely normal. She is gaining and striving for independence which shows what a great mom you have been thus far. The best thing you can do with the no thing is to continue to establish boundaries and limiting her oppurtunities. You can do this by avoiding yes/no questions. Also avoiding using no yourself can help also. You can change your no to stop. Give lots of attention when she says yes, and always recognize her feelings, but explain why she can't do something. The eating thing is normal too. Yet again she is pushing her boundaries. Children will usually end up selecting a balanced diet over a weeks time. At this age their tastes can change overnight so just keep on providing variety. Sometimes if you let them choose a snack during the day they feel some power and control and will not throw as many tantrums during meal times. Hope this helps! |
| posted by Andrea on 05/17/2007 03:51 PM
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Ally,
She's 2 alright! And she sounds perfectly normal to me!
I agree with both of the other mom's (experience is so great, isn't it?). Give her some choices; avoid yes/no questions; and be firm but understanding.
I mean, after all, It must be frustrating to be two, right? Think about it. This is the first time in her life she's ever been able to decide anything for herself (and therefore she's had the first taste of POWER). It sounds like she likes it! (Smart girl!)
Just remember that you are your daughter's example and your rules are her guide. She's likely to mimic you, and if the boundaries aren't clear, she'll cross them (constantly). If you say "no" a lot, she will, too. If she doesn't know where "the line" is, she'll cross it for sure!
She might be too young for a "star" chart, but maybe not. If she's extra smart (and when they are testing boundaries this young, it's usually because they're super intelligent), you might want to try a reward system. Think back to your kindergarten classroom. Get a poster and write her name. Spell out all the tasks you want her to do to be "good" at during the day (e.g., playing nicely, helping clean up, eating without throwing food, etc.), and velcro "stars" for each accomplishment she makes. At the end of the day (or maybe it needs to be every 2-hours for a 2-year-old), decide on a reward (an extra special hug/kiss, a sticker, an m&m) she gets for completing multiple accomplishments. The key is in the multiple. She doesn't get a reward for doing just one good thing... she gets it for doing LOTS of good things. Maybe that will help focus her attention on positive behavior?
A trick I found worked great with Jaislyn (my 2-year-old) when she got whinny (not that you mentioned that, but just in case you run into it) was when I spoke back to her in her own tone of voice. It nearly killed me to whine like that, but I only had to do it two or three times before she stopped doing it altogether. I think hearing her own voice reflected back to her made her realize how awful it sounds.
Maybe it would work with defiant/mouthy stuff, too? Honestly, though, if Jaislyn gets mouthy with me, I snap at her and say that she is not to "EVER" talk to her mama that way! That is one thing I won't stand for: verbal disrespect.
I'll get off my soapbox now. Best of luck. I'm sure you'll do great! :-D |
| posted by Jamie on 05/18/2007 01:52 AM
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