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I have three children, ages 14, 12 and 5. My husband is deployed with the military and we just did a cross country move from San Diego, CA to Summerville, SC. I work fulltime out of my home for my same boss that I had in San Diego. There, that's the background.
My kids are driving me batty!!! I cannot get them to listen at all. They went from being respectful children most of the time who did not so great things every now and then but for the most part were good, respectful kids. They were the kind of kids that people would tell me how respectful and polite they were. I now think somehow, those children were left in California and I got kids who don't listen, think that a rule is meant to be argued over and punshment is optional. I want my kids back.
My oldest is the worst. He has been told at least a million times to not bounce things against the walls, to not throw things in the house. Yet, he contantly does it. He does anything he can to annoy his brother and sister. He does things that are just downright stupid. Tonight, he decided that instead of walking the few steps around the bottom of the stairs to the couch, he would climb over the banister and land on the couch. In the process, he ripped my couch. He comes to tell me about it and doesn't understand or at least pretends to not understand why I am so angry. Later this evening, as if I am not angry enough with him, he was sitting on the couch holding a plastic serving spoon (don't ask me why he was holding a plastic serving spoon, I have no idea!) and leaned over and smacked the heck out of his brother's foot. It was so loud and my son was screaming so bad, I came running from the other room. My middle son still has a large mark on himself and that was over 2 hours ago. There is a ton more, but that's just an example of the past two hours.
My middle son is annoying his sister. For some reason, she is playing with the dog by putting the leash on her and "walking" her around the house. The dog doesn't seem to mind. My middle son freaks out every time and starts to yell at his sister to leave the dog alone. I have told him every time that she is ok, the dog doesn't mind, but he won't let up.
All three of the kids seem to be stuck on West Coast time. They stay up late at night, sleep late in the afternoon. I have tried waking them up early and making them stay awake, but they keep sneaking off to go back to bed while I'm trying to work. I make them go to bed early each night (early being 10pm) and they keep coming to me telling me that they can't sleep. Gee, neither can I because someone keeps waking me up!
I admit I am very grouchy right now. A lot of it has to do with the move and just missing my husband. I know that the kids are dealing with this move in their own way and I have tried to keep that in mind. But I am going crazy. Does anyone have any suggestions????
And please....if anyone is in San Diego and sees my kids walking around, let them know I miss them and want them back! |
| Posted by Patti on 07/13/2008 10:44 PM
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I am also a Military wife and mom to our girls. My husband went overseas for 18 months from Oct.2004 till Jan.2006.I had to be mom and dad plus the good parent and the bad parent.I might be a "single parent" in October of this year.He might go over seas for a year. I am not in SC but if you ever need to talk I am here for you.
~Patsy~
proud Military wife
mom to our girls
creator/designer for my cards and crafts |
| posted by Patsy on 07/13/2008 10:51 PM
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I am a Military wife and mom to our girls. I am not in SC because I am in California. But if you need to talk to someone please know that as another Military wife I am here for you.
~Patsy~
proud Military wife
mom to our girls
creator/designer for my cards and crafts |
| posted by Patsy on 07/13/2008 10:52 PM
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First off I would like to say thank you to both Military Moms and their families! I greatly appreciate the sacrifices your husbands and your families make for the rest of us here at home.
I am a mom of three sons ages 21, 18 & 17. I can remember when my children were 10, 11 & 14 and I can assure you it was a circus at times to say the least! I feel sure some of what is going on is due to the move and you are most likely feeling somewhat overwhelmed and with good reason, even without the move just your husband being away is stressful.
My husband suffers from a condition called "chronic cluster headaches" they are severe headaches that are sometimes called "suicide" headaches because sufferers have a higher rate of suicide the pain is sometimes compared to amputation without sedation. I am telling you this because when my oldest son was turning 16 my husbands headaches became chronic which means he was having several a day and I basically became a single mom to the boys & I worked and I had to take over all of my husbands duties in regard to our family because he could barely manage work and going through the motions of living.... I saw the boys change and it worried me and saddened me but I tried to keep things on an even keel at least as much as possible. Sometimes I went nutso over something but eventually things setteled down.. I wonder about your 14 and 12 year old sons in regard to hormones. I know that occasionally my boys hit a "stage" and it was really (hormonal) something they were not doing intentionally, trying to make them understand how to control their feelings and think before they act is helpful... however you will sound like a broken record. :) I finally decided that was ok.
I hope some of what I have said will be of help to you. I will honestly keep you and your family in my prayers... |
| posted by Debra on 07/14/2008 02:45 AM
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| I just need to tell you that I feel your pain. I really don't understand many times why in the world kids do what they do, especially to each other. I think it is great to have a forum like this to be able to vent a little and hear others tell you that you are not alone. My husband and got out of the Air Force a little over two years ago, and we both understand what it is like to have the other one deployed or off at a school, leaving the remaining parent to be mother and father to the kids. It is a challenge, but let me tell you, from reading your post, I can say that I believe you are up to it. The advice I would like to give you is that at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter if they believe rules and punishments are optional, they just plain aren't because you said so. After a while, they will get it. Whenever my son tells me that he can't get to sleep, I give him a few low-key options like reading a book for thirty minutes or go to his room and talk for a few minutes or let him listen to a music cd. I think it might be hormonal that they sometimes can't sleep...I don't know. Another idea is to talk to them and tell them that you understand that there is a transitional period with the move and all, but you still have expectations and standards. I hope some of this helps! :) Hang in there, Patti! |
| posted by Sanya on 09/18/2008 11:13 PM
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| I just need to tell you that I feel your pain. I really don't understand many times why in the world kids do what they do, especially to each other. I think it is great to have a forum like this to be able to vent a little and hear others tell you that you are not alone. My husband and got out of the Air Force a little over two years ago, and we both understand what it is like to have the other one deployed or off at a school, leaving the remaining parent to be mother and father to the kids. It is a challenge, but let me tell you, from reading your post, I can say that I believe you are up to it. The advice I would like to give you is that at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter if they believe rules and punishments are optional, they just plain aren't because you said so. After a while, they will get it. Whenever my son tells me that he can't get to sleep, I give him a few low-key options like reading a book for thirty minutes or go to his room and talk for a few minutes or let him listen to a music cd. I think it might be hormonal that they sometimes can't sleep...I don't know. Another idea is to talk to them and tell them that you understand that there is a transitional period with the move and all, but you still have expectations and standards. I hope some of this helps! :) Hang in there, Patti! |
| posted by Sanya on 09/18/2008 11:14 PM
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