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| First Time Moms |
| Public online group |
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| When you are a first time mom their are lots of people around you (like your mom, your mother-in-law, etc.) who feel compelled to give you advice on just about everything: what brand of wipes is the best, what is the *ultimate* angle to hold the bottle, how many seconds you should let your baby scream at night before you go attend, etc..... P-lease....! There are times when I need help, advice, but there are time when I just all the advice-experts to give me a break... does that happen to you? |
| Posted by Vero on 11/15/2006 11:22 AM
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| I totally understand your concern. Being a first time mom, several people who have raised children feel they have the "best" advice on all subject matters. Also, I tend to get caught up in all the articles I read in American Baby, Child, and Parenting Magazines and feel I need to do all the things recommended in order to have a happy, healthy baby. |
| posted by Makina on 11/29/2006 01:14 PM
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And what about strangers giving you advice?!
For my children I mainly went on instinct. I acknowledge others' advice (sometimes while seething inside) and sis what I thought was best . . . and NEVER defended my choices or actions to anyone, except for "I have to do what I think is best for my child."
Too bad all those advice-givers disappear when your children are pre-teen/teenage and you are thirsty for advice about cliques, and bullying, and growing up issues, and attitudes. |
| posted by Kelly on 12/10/2006 04:48 PM
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| Amen, Vero! You go, girl! I have been struggling with this since my daughter was born and she's almost 2 now! Everyone has an opinion on how she should be raised. I'm a single mother, so I have lots of support from extended family members and my parents who are very much involved in my daughter's life. My family pretty much has my daughter's whole future planned out, which frustrates me! I have always been the type of person who wanted her daughter to be a free thinker and do what makes HER happy. My family has been shoving advice down my throat since my daughter was born and I have no clue what to do about it. I'm a pretty stubborn person and I have sort of a quick tempers, so I tend to snap at people who tell me how to do things. It's one thing to SUGGEST something, but ordering someone to do something is entirely different to me. Anyhow, I fee your pain. |
| posted by Mary on 12/24/2006 12:09 AM
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| I know exactly what you mean!! I am a first time mom with a daughter who will soon be 3 months old. Sometimes the advice is appreciated and other times it is not. Over the holidays I had family members trying to sneak table food to my baby. When I snapped at them and told them not to give her food because she is too young, a response that I got was "Oh, a little gravy won't hurt her." I politely but quickly took my child away from them. Also my mom and some others are on my case because I have not let my daughter spend the night with them. I am not worried that they will do any thing to hurt her, I just want her to be with me. My family members live 1 hour away from me. Am I wrong for this? |
| posted by Tiffany on 12/27/2006 10:31 AM
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| People are just plain old nosey and know it alls! Anytime my daughter cries, I get the "she is obviously hungry" advice. IT drives me nuts when I know my daughter already. She is 5 mo old and I know the difference in her cries. I too have the worry about her staying with anyone even if it is relatives, because I want her to be happy and not have separation anxiety...and because I am with her every day, I know her the most. My advice is to just say thanks and do it your way. Sometimes the advice helps, other times you just want the advice to go away. As for staying with my mother in law, it's not that I dont trust her...I just want my baby with me at all times too and I am not ready to let her stay anywhere...and who ever does not like that....oh well...that is your child and you have the final say...who knows maybe it will tick someone off and they will keep their advice to themselves, haha. |
| posted by Arlyn on 02/15/2007 02:00 PM
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