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| Step-Moms without Bio kids |
| Public online group |
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| I am not a parent myself, but my boyfriend is a divorced single father of a 5 year old little boy named Gavin. Gavin has had some obsticles to overcome. He is adjusting to new houses and his parents divorce. He is also adjusting to new adults in his life. Both his father and mother have new significant others. He is also starting kindergarten soon. So many adjustments for a little boy are probably causing him stress. He is also adjusting to having rules for the first time in his young life. His mother was always underminding his fathers rules and wanted Gavin to be free to do what he wanted to do. As much as I love this little boy, as much as it sounds harsh, he is a brat. I know where this is steming from, I have discussed it above. But he is defient, willful, and is constantly throwing tantrums. Time Outs have gotten harder to give because he puts up such a fight, and he just goes right back to doing what he was doing before. Even when you take away privlidges he still goes right back to his behavior. My boyfriend does not believe in spanking, and we are both at our wits end. This weekend was the worst. We were on vacation and he managed to get in trouble with everyone, including people we visted, every hour. He has been tested and we were told he is not autistic and shows no signs of ADD. I need help knowing how to parent a difficult child. Especially when the child isn't mine. |
| Posted by Jonez on 07/09/2008 03:56 PM
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| I have a step son that is six. He gets very difficult also. He's mother doesn't want much to do with him and when she does she makes me look bad to make herself look great. Most the time I wish I was having a dream. It gets so crazy here. He is a TOTALLY different child when he's father isn't around. When he is here with me he is bad. Once in awhile he is good but thats only when theres special things to do like the parks or grandmas. I try and think how he feels but he refuses to talk to me and the only time he will talk to me is when he needs something. I can tell you rasing a stepchild is the hardest thing you'll ever do. It's hard to desipline someone elses child. I put my step son in the corner for six mins. and he hates doing it. Latley he has been doing very well. Try the corner it works. Tell him he needs to stay there and look at the wall before he comes out. Just dont cave in when he throws a fit. Ignore him. If he won't stay in the corner and runs after you put him there just walk him back and leave him there. Keep taking him back until he knows he is not getting up until he stays there. My stepson tested me for THREE hours doing it. He finally understood he wont get his way all the time. Take deep breaths and try to ingnore the screaming. You can also do stuff like a sticker chart. Once he has it filled for the day then he can have a hour of tv or games or whatever he likes. I make my stepson earn that stuff or he'd run all over us. Good luck. |
| posted by Kris on 07/10/2008 10:52 AM
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| He does get time outs where is is made to stand in the corner. He throws a fit and I ignore it. I keep standing him in the corner though he kicks, pushes, fights and screams at the top of his lungs. His father freaks out though because Gavin has the tendency to throw up if he cries to hard. His father feels that, because he is the parent he should be involved in the punishment, so sometimes he finishes my punishment. That upsets me because it makes Gavin have less respect for me. MY boyfriend will tell him not to do something, and as soon as my boyfriend leaves the room Gavin will look right at me and do the thing he was told not to do. When I tell him no he gets a smirk on his face and continues to do it, as if to show me I am not the boss and he knows it! So FRUSTRATING!!! |
| posted by Jonez on 07/16/2008 02:23 PM
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| oh my goodness. That is what my step son Gavin does! It drives me crazy. I end up screaming at him because that is the only way it will get through to him. My husband starts telling me to stop because he didn't do it. I saw him do it and your telling me I'm seeing him do things when your not in the room! There have been so many times I've told my husband if you wanna correct me for correcting your son you stay home with him and take care of him and you can do everything with him. I give up and I am doing nothing for him. My husband shortly gave in and said you can do it I can't. My husband always finishs the punishments and I know in Gavins eyes that I'm the adult in the house and he's father is. That he doesn't have to listen to me. I know how you feel completely!!! |
| posted by Kris on 07/17/2008 10:03 AM
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