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| Parents of Teens |
| Public online group |
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| I NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT RIGHT NOW.My 16 year old daughter is lying and not living up to her responsibilties,all she wants to do is hang out with her girlfriends and have fun.She lost a good job because she wanted to go to outing with her friends over the and she did not go to work like she was supposed to.we are at the end of our rope,she does not feel she has done anything wrong.What can we do? |
| Posted by greg on 07/05/2008 11:42 PM
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| Hello, I am the mother of 3 sons ages 21,18 and 17. I have been married to my husband for 27years and was a stay at home mom until my oldest son was starting 9th grade. I am telling you this to give you some idea about where this is coming from. I really don't have much advice. My biggest suggestion is "caution". I tried all sorts of different things with my children, all very different personalities and I found that if you come on too strongly you sometimes get the exact opposite of what you want... I am not sure what kind of privledges your daughter has but at this age they really want more freedom. Maybe you could talk to her and let her know that in order to do that (gain more freedom) she must prove that she can be responsible. IF she chooses to be more responsible, like with the job and can be honest you will be more inclined and more comfortable allowing her to ... what ever it is you decide, a later curfew or more time with her friends or something like that. I know how hard it is at this age and the influences our children have aren't always the best and it makes our job so very difficult. I also spend alot of time praying that God will help me to guide them in a way that is pleasing to HIM, then I do the best I can. I really hope I helped in some small way, Good Luck, I mean that, Debra |
| posted by Debra on 07/06/2008 02:05 AM
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Hi Greg! Welcome to the group!
I have a 12yo daughter and a 16yo son and my advice would be the same as Debra's. I remember being sixteen and literally being in tears any time I couldn't be with my closest friends. I used to this I had abnormally close relationships with my two best friends but have seen, over the years, that many girls, and some guys, are this way.
I don't have any additional advice but do want to offer some encouragement that your daughter is not alone in the way she needs her friends, but it's also okay to expect and effect a change in her life, not only so she'll be more responsible but so she'll learn some independence as well. |
| posted by Kelly on 07/06/2008 07:30 AM
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| Thanks for the advice,we are going to have a long talk with her today.Any other suggestions would be most appreciated.greg merkel |
| posted by greg on 07/06/2008 08:25 AM
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Welcome to the group.
Your daughter is at an age where she wants more freedom, IMO I think this is normal for all teens. I would have a problem with the lying. My kids will lose stuff (computer, TV, time with friends) if they are caught lying. My oldest is 17 and driving. He knows that as long as he is honest with us and responsible (going to work, etc.) that we don't give him a hard time about going out. So far we have good communication between us and we haven’t had any problems.
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| posted by sillymom on 07/07/2008 09:22 AM
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