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I need help! We have been having real issues lately with our 15 month old daughter. She has been very stubborn and throwing tantrums about almost everything including diaper changes! And I don’t mean just a little fussing, she throws out right, full fledge, kicking and screaming tantrums! She will buck around like a little horse during diaper changes. When she doesn’t get her way with going outside to pet the dogs for example, she will just fall apart with screaming and kicking. What can you do with a 15 month old?!?! I have read that it is too early to try things like time out, but what else can I do? I have noticed that these behaviors are normally worse in the morning and later afternoon to evening.
I work full time during the week so it makes it very difficult to implement any thing new with her being as I can’t be there to be sure the tantrums are being addressed properly. It breaks my heart to see my little one get so upset about nothing!
If you have any suggestions please let me know. Also, if you know of any great parenting books I would love to hear about them.
Any suggestions would be so greatly appreciated!
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| Posted by Dawn on 06/25/2008 01:19 PM
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| I have heard that Happiest Toddler on the Block is a good book. In fact I have been thinking about getting it, because my almost 14 month old can throw a good tantrum herself. Good luck! |
| posted by Kim on 06/25/2008 01:37 PM
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| Hi Dawn. I totally understand where you are coming from. She's only 15 months and how are you supposed to "reason" with a little one like that, right? Our daughter started her tantrums at 1 year. We were like "how is she starting her terrible twos already??!??". She's 19 months and the complete meltdowns have gotten much better. I also work full time so it's hard to try new things like you said but here's what I've tried. We tried the "naughty chair" for timeouts but that didn't seem to help for us but for a girlfriend of mine it's helped a lot. I watched Dr. Harvey Karp's "Happiest Toddler on the Block" where he says to get down to the toddler's level and almost act like them ("toddler-speak") in trying to get them to calm down. I don't think I'm explaining that well but I tried to follow what he said to try and it seemed to help a bit. I would say if you have a friend that has the dvd to try borrowing it. I don't think it's worth buying. For me, what's worked the best is telling her in a calm voice "look at mama, look at mama" and getting her to look me in the eye. I usually get down to her level be it she's on the floor or standing and I repeat over and over that I understand she doesn't like what's happening but firmly telling her "no she can't do that" and that this is what we have to do. I try to validate her feelings and try to stay as calm as possible keeping in mind that she's a toddler and can't control her feelings well. That it's normal for her to be frustrated. It didn't seem to be helpful at first but I just kept doing that and her tantrums have gotten shorter and further apart. Last month or the month before, the Baby magazine had a short article about a study they did on babies having tantrums "early" and I don't know how much you believe in "studies" but I'm choosing to believe it. They said that they found that babies who start throwing tantrums early feel more secure and more loved and so they feel like they can test their limits. Hey so maybe we're doing something right! |
| posted by Susan on 06/25/2008 01:55 PM
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| I have bought both the Happiest Toddler on the block and Toddler 411. Since I also work full-time, I have only read parts of Toddler 411. This book is in segments so you don't read the whole book at once. It's more like a manual and I highly recommend it. Anyway, it said that the terrible two's usually start at 15 months. It tells you how to implement time-out (yes, according to the book you can start at this age) and other things. I have a 16 month old son who sometimes throw tantrums. Most of the time they just want to get your attention and a reaction from you. I would say the best advise would be to ignore her until she's done with her tantrum then figure out what she wants. My son usually does it while I'm cooking because he gets bored. So I tried to find things to keep him busy once he's done throwing his fit. I think it's just a normal part of toddlerhood and that's the only way they know how to express their feelings. Good luck and hang in there! |
| posted by Monique on 06/25/2008 03:29 PM
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I feel your pain. My little monster has been this way almost from day 1. He just turned 2. He can be the ideal child, until he hears, "No, "Stop", or you try to make him do something he doesn't want to do. I usually just set him down, and tell him, "I'll be over here when you calm down". He settles himself down within a few minutes (no longer than 5 min.), And usually walks over to me like nothing happened. I noticed, that others (parents and inlaws) will keep asking him to calm down and that he cries a lot longer, milking the attention for everything it is worth. The consequesnce? He runs circles around everyone else, but mom and dad usually have him under control. He realized a long time ago that he can't get away with things with us.
He has my stubborn personality, so I can relate to him. Bottom line, you know your child. They understand a lot more than we give them credit for. I ALWAYS talk to him, give him choices, and tell this the consequences.
Good Luck :-) |
| posted by Lorraine on 06/27/2008 10:09 AM
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| I read the Happiest Toddler on the Block Book and did not like it at all. My son thought that I was mocking him and got madder. Whatever works for you is best. I use time outs and that works good. My son is 28 months and is a great boy because I was a bit tough on him when he was about 15 months because he was doing the same things. He is very verbal so that helped. Kids can act naughty when they don't have the words to express what they want. We did baby sign with my sons when he was very young, and that helped stop tantrums because he could communicate before he could talk. |
| posted by amy on 07/07/2008 09:27 PM
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