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| Parents of Teens |
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It's easy for me to point fingers and say the parents weren't involved enough or strict enough or whatever, but really, once your teen reaches an age where you allow them to be out of your presence with the opposite sex these things can happen.
Daniel, 16, would be allowed to date if he wanted to; and Rachel, 12, is too young to even consider it. I know if Daniel were dating he could find opportunities to do the deed if he wanted to bad enough. I just hope that what he's heard and discussed with us about premarital sex, STD's, and pregnancy would stay with him and prevail. I know this because I was a sneaky teenager who did things I shouldn't on a regular basis.
What about the claim that the school is somehow responsible for these girls doing this? How susceptible is your teen to being pressured into doing something stupid and potentially dangerous by his/her peer group? Have you talked to your kids about this situation? |
| Posted by Kelly on 06/21/2008 01:02 PM
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What do you mena the school is somehow responsible for doing what? I don't understand, please clarify. Thanks
My son has this circle of friends which include girls. This one girl was after my son for the longest time. Well, this girl now has a "boyfriend", which used to be one of my son's best friends. This girl has her mother convinced that she is into boys because they do not carry "drama" like girls. This girl, who has a boyfriend, goes to the movies with other boys, parties, bowling, etc., by herself even though she is not accompanied by her boyfriend. This girl is out there "giving head" to boys her age, because her own boyfriend is too studious and prefers to spend his time in books rather than her. My son's best friend, not only spoke to my son about this, but also to my husband as to what he should do about her. My husband told him to stop seeing her. My son also advised his friend to "dump her. she is a slut". Well, the boy is still with her, because the girl said "I am in love with you"!!!!!. My son is no longer his friend, and does not even speak with the girl. I have no idea why this boy is with this girl. The boy is very smart-I guess in books, because the choice he is making to stay with the girl is not so wise.
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| posted by esther on 06/21/2008 01:58 PM
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Hubby said a newscast he watched about the circumstance said that some were rtying to blame the school because of their make-it-easy policy for teen moms to stay in school. I read a claim that it was a societal problem because "we" (society) doesn't offer these girls a more attractive option and they see teenage parenthood romanticized in movies and media and in their own school.
As far as I'm concerned, it comes down to plain old bad choices.
Another point: the father to some of these babies is supposed to be a 24yr old homeless man! Since none of these girls is over the age of 16, I wonder if they are going to charge him with statutory rape. Should they? What do you think? |
| posted by Kelly on 06/21/2008 05:27 PM
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the homeless man, was he ever involved in a Poligamy group per say?
I live in a very small town. Every now and then you will see tagging on peoples homes. I was at Petco last weekend, and I saw a couple both 15 years old with a 3 week old baby. AHHHH! I feel that it is up to us, the community as a whole, to help our local leaders develop or create outlets for these kids, so that they don't have time to get pregnant, and they are so preoccupied that instead of tagging a building, they should be home sleeping.
We need to stop the blame game, and become proactive. |
| posted by esther on 06/22/2008 04:08 PM
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| I'm not familiar with "tagging." Can you explain what it is? |
| posted by Kelly on 06/23/2008 07:26 AM
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| I'm amazed at what parents don't know. I understand you can't and won't know everything, but if you care enough about your kid, you'll find away to find things out. My daughter thinks we have a "parent network" in our town that keeps eyes and ears open and tells all. It keeps her straight to some degree because I've busted her on things. The truth is, there is no "parent network". I have Spector Pro on both computers. It let's you see EVERYTHING your kid is saying and looking at. I also read her text messages. I think one thing parents are missing today is common sense. But I also think we need to share responsibility..... from the parent, the kid, the community, schools, etc. |
| posted by Donna on 06/23/2008 10:19 AM
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I agree with Donna! I also feel that keeping the lines of communication open with your children are very very important. If you freak out when they tell you things you don't want to hear, they're going to shut down and stop telling you anything. I know there have been times when my 16 & 13 year old boys have told me things and asked me questions, it has made my stomach turn. In those times, depending on the statement or question, I have to stay calm and sometimes "under-react". Sometimes, I tell them to hang on to that thought so I can go to the restroom, go collect myself and think about how to respond.
I grew up in a very modest home, but society has done nothing but shove sexuality down our throats through every avenue they can possibly think of. It has been very hard for me at times (ex. Male enhancement commercials, Viagra commercials, Girls Gone Wild commercials, TV shows that seem "ok", but have all these sexual undertones and blatant content and "off color language") to be in the same room with them when this stuff comes up. I have even turned channels at times to avoid questions or comments.
However, I finally decided I had to stop running from "reality" and face the fact that no matter how hard I try to protect them...that crap is out there!! If they don't see it with me, they're going to see it elsewhere, and I have to accept that. Even though it's hard for me at times, I would rather them be with me so I CAN explain things and react in a way that they would pick up on my feelings.
There is controversy over whether there was a pact or not, and regardless of that, there is someone to blame...ourselves. Ourselves=society. We ARE society. |
| posted by Crystal on 06/24/2008 03:46 PM
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| Like I said, we need to become "proactive". Tagging means spraying words/phrases on people's concrete block walls. It is usually done with spray paint. |
| posted by esther on 06/26/2008 03:27 AM
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