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| Raising Kids in Difficult Relationships |
| Public online group |
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| I am currently five months pregnant, and am having a difficult time dealing with the father, Chris. We have talked about four times since I told him I was pregnant nearly four months ago, and although he insists that he wants to be in our baby's life, he doesn't want to be in mine. I am having a difficult time getting over him and I feel like he's not being considerate of my feelings. Is this something that I am going to have to get used to? I feel like there should be some sort of manual for this, and I've asked him what he wants me to do, if he wants me to back off and give him space, or if he wants to be involved, but all he says to me is "I don't know". I guess I don't know how to get him involved now, even if he did want to be involved, but how do I know whether or not I can depend on him to reliable after the baby is born? I dealt with a sporadic dad growing up and don't want that for my child. What should I do? |
| Posted by Megan on 06/21/2008 12:15 AM
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| I'm so sorry you're dealing w/ this! I know it can be difficult and I've had friends that have dealt w/ the same situation. The best thing to do is leave him alone! The worst mistake women make (including me) is being persistent w/ a man who could care less! If he wants his "space" then give it to him girl! When he sees that you're "over it" (even if you're really not) he will second guess himself and maybe come around and step up to the plate! It's hard, especially in your condition, but be strong! Only contact him w/ important dates (like ultrasounds). And when you call him be to the point and brief like you just wanted to inform him and nothing more! Dont ask questions or anything just say, "this is whats going on and I thought you should know!" This is very hard to do but I hope it helps! Good Luck and Congratulations! |
| posted by Pamela on 06/23/2008 08:25 PM
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| I am so sorry you are going through that. I know what it feels like to be with someone who doesn't want anything to do with you. I have been with a man that I had children with for 6 yrs and he tells me he isn't that into me everyday through his actions. No, you do not have to get used to someone not being considerate of your feelings and no you should not settle for less that what you deserve. You deserve the best! Consider concentrating on you and see what happens. I have learned its my responsibility to raise my children in the best way I know how wheither he wants to join us or not is up to him. good luck and God Bless |
| posted by holly on 07/03/2008 02:12 PM
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| I know this is hard to go through, but like many women these days, I've been there too and have survived. No one said it's easy, but this will make you stronger. I like the advice that Pam gave you. I agree very strongly about keeping him informed. Especially after the baby is born. Allow him to be apart of your childs life(not for him but the child), but always have the saftey of the child in your best interest. Never talk about him negatively in front of the child, no matter how small the child is. Children sense things and pick up on things quick. If he's not the father your child needs him to be, your child will know, and will not hate or resent you. Also when he sees that you are portraying him in a positive light to the child it might help ease his fears and make him try more towards his fatherly duties. Wish you the best of luck. Hope to hear about how your doing in your pregnancy and update us on your situation. Thank You. |
| posted by busygirl0219 on 07/04/2008 03:28 AM
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