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| Thinking About Having Another |
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| Hello! I am new to the group and I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Christen and I have a wonderful husband and a 13 month old little girl. My husband and I have been so on the fence about whether or not to have another child. I have a lot of questions and thoughts that I hope I may be able to get some help with here. |
| Posted by Christen on 06/09/2008 11:07 AM
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| welcome! :) |
| posted by on 06/09/2008 12:05 PM
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| Welcome Christen, I know what you are going through, my daughter is 14 months old and my husband I are trying to decide if and when to have another one as well. |
| posted by Anne on 06/09/2008 04:22 PM
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| Yes welcome to the group :) What are some of your thoughts?? My husband and I prayed and thought a lot about having another also... we deciced to try! We are definintly all here for you~ |
| posted by Samantha on 06/09/2008 07:17 PM
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| Welcome Christen!! |
| posted by katie on 06/10/2008 09:33 AM
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I have so many thoughts on it. My biggest issue is that I will not feel the same about the second one as I do the first. I feel like I can give Abby all of my attention, and everything right now. If we have another, we would have to split everything 2 ways.
On the other hand, I really would like to go through the whole experience of pregnancy, having an infant, and all of that again. Plus, I don't want to be doing something wrong by my daughter by not giving her a sibling.
What do you all think? |
| posted by Christen on 06/10/2008 11:09 AM
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WOW! I can completely relate to what you are saying! I said the exact same things to my husband... my daughter is now two and a half and those feelings just kind of faded for me, I guess now that she's a little older I feel more confidant about the time splitting thing.. I see mom's do it everywhere I take my daughter... I guess I started to think, hey if they can do it I can do it!! And I would love to see her with a sibling too, I guess for me personally I did have to space it out more to feel better about those particular things... the time and attention splitting. I totally understand the worry of loving another the way you love your child... that is such a real worry for so many parents, (well us worry full moms at least!) I expressed this concern to my husband also. He says of course we would! It's all so easy for them! But I have read so many articles that include that fear as one of the top fears of having another! Everything and everyone says it is totally normal but really nothing to worry about... that we do in fact feel the same and love the same, we just have a hard time realizing it until it all starts to happen! For me, once all those worries, fears & concerns faded to the very back of my mind, I felt much better and ready! My husband and I just started trying... now in the for front of my mind and heart is excitement for the thought if we do receive another blessing, how wonderful it will be especially to share with our daughter. I picture her being so intrigued by it all, I see her excitement at all the ultrasounds, I picture how she will fall in love like we will and i just can't wait!
So you are not alone! If I would have written about this when my daughter was your daughter's age it would have been the exact same post as yours!! I would say just really weigh everything you are feeling in your mind and heart, listen to your intuition, pray about it if it's in your faith, and I really hope you find a little more clarity at the least :) |
| posted by Samantha on 06/10/2008 12:21 PM
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Well, my reasons for being apprehensive about having another are different than yours. I'm so excited to hopefully one day have another child to love, but there are so many reasons for us to wait right now. Our house is for sale and we are hoping to move before having another child, but the market is bad, so who knows? Maybe we'll end up having another here, but I'd love to just move into the house we'll live in forever and start life anew there before adding to the family. I definitely agree that I want our child to have a sibling...I have a brother and although we fought as kids, we always had/have eachother and that feels great...I want the same for my son. Finances are a concern, but everyone says that one more doesn't change things all that much...child care is another issue...right now, I only work PT, 3 days a week and our son is watched by my mom one day a week and my MIL 2 days a week while I work. I'm not sure they'd be thrilled about watching 2 kids on their days....so maybe we'll wait until our son is in pre-school before getting pregnant, but then I'll be over 35......UGH! Sorry for rambling, so much to think about. Just know I understand where you're coming from. :)
Cute family pic, by the way! :) |
| posted by on 06/10/2008 09:39 PM
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Thanks for all of the thoughts ladies! We definitely can't have another baby right now, because of finances, so we still have some time to think about it.
Thanks again! It is nice to know that I am not alone in my thinking. |
| posted by Christen on 06/13/2008 09:55 AM
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