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You should check and see if there is a gymboree where you live. It's great for the younger one, and the older one can even come to the classes with you, and play while you have your class. And you can meet other moms and maybe set up play dates at your house, or theirs. That way you wouldn't have to worry about going to a big public place.
And if you just need to get out, try getting a double stroller and going to the mall or something... air conditioning, and plenty to look at for your younger one. Also they have little playgrounds inside some malls. It really all depends on where you live and whats around you. If you have a public library they usually have story time, which is good for both your kids, and again, libraries are air conditioned.
Hope this helped a little, good luck! |
| posted by Becky on 06/07/2008 03:03 PM
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| Hi! I feel the same way, my older son is two. He likes to run down the sidewalk if we are going for a car ride while I put his brother in the car. He gets upset and lays down on the ground when he does not get to go in the direction he wants. He will run through the isles of the grocery store. I can not get him to ride in a stroller anymore, but I have a backpack for him that has a leash attached. We can go for walks. I usually put the youngest in a carrier and hold the leash. Sometimes I will put the youngest in the stroller. We play in the backyard too, since it is nice outside. I just keep trying with him. It is a big adjustment that mommy can not follow him everywhere and do everything for him. I just try to be patient with him. I got the backpack with leash from walmart 20$. I see a lot of people just walking around holding their young ones hands and I feel bad. A lot of them have come up to me and asked where they can get the backpack and leash from. I hope you find something that helps you make it through the days. Good Luck! :) |
| posted by Michelle on 06/07/2008 03:03 PM
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| Hi, Having 2 can be a tough adjustment & this may not be the type of help you are requesting... but from what you state, I would talk to your Dr.about your symptoms. You are clearly stating that you are depressed & you are also describing symptoms of anxiety. BOTH can be helped with medication &/or counseling & if it has reached clinical depression (or is post partem) you cannot just wish it away. You and your children deserve to have you feeling better! Best of luck hon. Hugs! |
| posted by Sandi on 06/07/2008 07:36 PM
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| Erin I am so sorry you are feeling this way... I have a 2 and a half year old daughter and felt this way after she was born. I had such bad anxiety it was debilitating...please do not loose hope, you have not lost yourself... you just need support and prayers. My doctor wanted me to go on medication for my anxiety... I had the prescription and just could not do it. I reached out to my sister in law and husband several times a day who helped talk me through the hard times... reassuring me that there was nothing to obsessively worry about, reassuring me that I was being prayed for by members of our church. I remember being told, "So many people are praying for you, just hang in there, just believe" I was NOT one to take loosing control lightly. My husband & family were so there for me, encouraging me... making me leave the house... but most importantly I never stopped praying... the people who loved and cared for me kept on praying... and slowly but very surely it was gone and I account it all to God. I gave him a chance to save me... I wanted to see if my making the right changes through support and prayer...if I would get better and I did. You have to know that you are not alone... it feels so much like you are and things have such a heavier feel than they really weigh, but for the safety of your well being and for the safety of your children's well being.... reaching out is a big first step and I commend you. You are not happy and you know it, I can feel the desperation in your words... learn the strength that it takes just for you to reach out. You can still be that out-going person... she is still in there. You just need the confidence in yourself to go out there... brave the world that is right outside your door and take one day at a time. Start with small trips and as hard as it may be, try to take control of your mind, take control of your thoughts. You want to be positive even if you don't feel positive, I know it sounds weird but if you put your heart into it you will feel a difference. Use positive self talk..."I can do this"..."I will be ok"...."I will be able to handle this situation" Use the strength that God gives each of us, especially mothers..find it inside yourself. If you believe then it is right there idling at the door of your limbs, ready to take action. I'm not sure of your faith... but all I can to is encourage you to have some... it has changed my life and feel that it is because of this exact situation, being able to connect with and possibly help those who are going through this. It is so true that we do not get to choose the trials in our lives, we do not get to choose how and why we are destined to be used by God. I was so confused at first, going round and round in my head asking why and how this could be happening to me... what it was, what it meant. My husband and I tried to conceive our daughter for a year and prayed every day for our blessing... I wanted this very much so why and how did things get so strange??? The answers... that I did not immediately receive of course... is that your body's chemistry is an amazing thing... the drop of hormone levels can have this impact on your mental and physical health, and that much of it is out of your control. The things that are in your control to help it are things like exercise, music... trying to have and feel joy- even if it feels like a mission to do so! Answer number two: God was giving me part of my destiny.. part of how I was to be used as a tool for sharing God's glory. My control in the situation was my prayer. Erin you will be in my prayers and I really hope you keep in touch :) |
| posted by Samantha on 06/07/2008 08:33 PM
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Hi Erin,
I used to suffer from anxiety and would have to leave the grocery store and my half full basket, I have gotten past that however still suffer from anxiety from time to time, it's not as bad as it used to and I can feel it coming on and usually try to calm myself down by getting my mind on something else or calling my mom or a friend, I usually don't even tell them that's why I'm calling, just to talk to somebody about anything helps. It's good to get a little hobby, I know with two kids it's probably a little hard at times, but when they take a nap or are sitting and playing try to do something you enjoy, scrapbooking, reading etc. This site is a great outlet two,you can get a lot of great advice and it's theraputic to also give it as well as get it, (advice) I never did take any medication just because I didn't like the way it made me feel, but you could always talk to your doctor about it. Really what made me get out, was I was tired of staying in, I just went for it, a little at a time, but eventually I could drive almost an hour or more away from my house if I had to, which I could never do before. I have a little boy, and I know it can be overwhelming, especially with two, maybe your husband or family or friends can give you a regular break daily so you can take time for yourself, another thing the doctor told me that would help is exercise, it relaxes you, even if you just walk around your block a couple of times or go somewhere air conditioned like a gym and walk around. It took me a while to meet people in my area, but it will come. I started meeting people left and right when I found the right place, then doors just kept opening. Look for a parents as teachers program, It's usually the letter of the state and then PAT like I live in Oklahoma and our program is OPAT, it's a pre -preschool, it's for infants to just before they start Kindergarten, ours is just fantastic, it runs along with the school year and is one day a week, I have met a lot of friends for both me and my son this way. Best of Luck to you and let me know if I can help with anything. |
| posted by amy on 06/07/2008 09:36 PM
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Ladies... while there is no doubt that prayer, family and a desire to change are HUGELY important... some forms of depression/anxiety can NOT be treated without medication. Taking meds is NOT a sign of weakness... NO one would tell a person to pray to cure their Diabetes... clinical depression cannot be cured this way- it is a chemical imbalance
& to imply that she has not tried/prayed/talked enough can be insulting &/or dangerous. Respect AND LISTEN TO WHAT SHE HAS SAID! Post-partum depression is common (but the post-partem psychosis that causes people to kill their kids is rare) so do not be afraid of yourself- be proud that you have reached out! It is easier to deny it & feel that you are withering away... you have made the first difficult step! Congrats & hugs ! |
| posted by Sandi on 06/07/2008 11:13 PM
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Sandi,
I completely agree with you that sometimes medication is absolutely necessary, that is why I had a prescription myself... ready to fill it if my family and I decided it was the next step for me to take. We decided that as a family I would give myself one week to notice any progress and if not than I would try the meds. I think the really important thing here is showing women what others have gone through and how they can relate to each other. And the only thing insulting on this post is the way you have handled yourself in your last post. You can get a point across or give your advise without tearing someone else's down. I do not believe that anyone implied Erin is doing anything wrong...or not enough... these things are mere testimony of what has worked for us and what might be an encouragement to her. I'm sorry that you don't realize that yes some people actually do pray for people who have diabetes...and in no way is prayer a "cure all". Again, It is just part of my personal testimony. We all have one, it is up to us to decided if, when and how to present it to others in a sharing and meaningful way. I personally listened to every word Erin said... and felt her emotion as well the seriousness of the issue... hence me sharing my story. I too sat with my doctor and discussed these very issues. I am so sorry you have misunderstood what has been said here. It seems that everyone is trying to help and share in any way...especially if they know how it feels. |
| posted by Samantha on 06/08/2008 12:51 AM
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