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| Welcome Ashley |
| posted by Laura on 05/06/2007 09:16 PM
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| Thanks ladies, im glad to be here. I am not a parent of difficult children, but i am a nanny for a miltiary family with 7 very difficult children. I feel that it may be because there all so close in age, th oldest being 8 and the youngest being 10 months old. I just don't know what to do some times.... i feel like i am at my witts end and suggestions??? |
| posted by ashley on 05/07/2007 10:17 AM
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| I will pray for you. taking care of 7 children. have u tried any of the supernanny stuff |
| posted by Laura on 05/07/2007 10:22 AM
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| well i guess i better do the run down of the family first...and then you'll see why the supernanny stuff doesn't work.... they are a young couple that are both in thier mid 20's... they both brought children into the marriage... he brought 4 and she brought 1.. .they have 2 together and one more on the way... with that being said, the children just dont get along with each other, they are always seeking approval, which is understandable in a big family, but that means that they are always in constent competition with each other and actting out when they feel they are not getting all the attention... i hear myself contantly reassuring them that i love them and that i try and pay equal amounts of attention to all of them, but it doesn't always happen. Tiffany, Ethan, Emilee, and Shelbie all are from Sean's first marriage, Trinity is from Valeri's first marriage and they have Saben and Alera togther. Tiffany is the oldest and the major drama queen...she is always trying to be the center of attention and will do anything to get it. Ethan, well what can say about him, he is my problem child. He is always actting out at school, home, out in public, anywhere he can.... he just makes me want to scream most of the time. Then you have Trinity, the golden child that never causes any trouble and just is very demanding in the things that she wants...Then there is Emilee.... where to start with her... i must say she is a big help most of the time, she just turned 5 in january and is well behaved untill afterschool and at night.... i guess with emilee, i have to go back to sean's first marriage and tell yall that she was the beginning of the neglect that thier mother showed thenm. She is underdeveloped mentally for her age and still wets the bed 2 to 3 nights a week... she makes my heart hurt. then you have shelbie, the 2 yr old and last child from sean's first marriage, and the major neglect baby. She is mentally at the stage of a 18 month old baby and turns 3 in october..... i work with her so much everyday and see her improving, but she is still so far behind... Oh and can't forget mom's favorite child, saben... the 1 yr old who is, well, just 1... and last but certianly not least, my personally favorite, 10 month old Alera... she is a quite baby for the most part, she is just going through her seperation anxiety phase and doesn't want to be left with strangers...all in all, its the fact that thier parents aren't here to parent them for the most part and i am rasing them... i understand that having 7 kids is stressful, but it is even more stressful when those kids aren't even yours and you have to deal with them 24/7/365....but i took the job so i have to just suck it up right??? |
| posted by ashley on 05/07/2007 10:54 AM
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Hi Ashley,
you really have your hands, head and everything else full!
You took quite a job, that it is not even a job it is a mission, and I totally agree that taking care of other people' s children is not easy. Are the parents active in their role or are they dumping all on you?
I think that even if you have the greatest babysitter the parents have to step up to their role. Some of these kids come also with a heavy past and they need extra attention.
I hope they don' t expect you to do it all. I am really not that surprise that these kids have so many issues.
We are here to give a virtual hand!
Vero |
| posted by Vero on 05/07/2007 11:17 AM
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Thanks Vero,
Thier parents are active some what... .Let me restate that...They are active when it is either, 1.convenient for them, 2. i'm not here, which is hardly ever, or 3. they feel like or they have to, ie trips to the er, dr appts, parent teacher confrences. They have had 5 previous nannies in the past year and a hlaf since the family has become one... i am thier sixth nanny and the one that really, excuse my language, give a damn about these kids. Because trust me, they are paying anywhere near what they should be for that amount of children that they have... |
| posted by ashley on 05/07/2007 11:34 AM
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I guess the thoughest part of your job is to make sure the parents step up to their responsability which included paying you for your service and your care. Otherwise, with all the good intention soon you will be burn out too!
Vero |
| posted by Vero on 05/07/2007 11:53 AM
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Wow Ashley, I don't know whether to call you a saint or crazy. Just kidding!! You definitely have a huge responsibility that has been handed to you. You definitely need to make sure that you don't burn out as Vero was saying in the earlier post. I know that you said that the "supernanny" things wouldn't work but in all honesty, she has some really great techniques that may help. Just getting the kids involoved in their daily routines and clean up etc will help them to feel empowered and of course offering lots of praise to all for a job well done. You may even pair them into teams or groups to do some activities. Posting a daily schedule and even using pictures instead of words for the non readers so that they can use it and know what comes next in their day can be helpful as well. Even a velcro schedule that the kids can move themselves from activity to activity when they are finished can be very motivating. Even a token economy system to earn privelages can be very motivating for those even as young as two. Then they can "buy" time at the park or even a new toy etc. as they earn "money" for good behavior. This can really help in the getting along department because you can use that as a chance to really praise them and give them the "token" for being nice to each other or helping out around the house. The key is to reward them for every opportunity that you can find when they are doing the desired behaviors. I use poker chips at my house for this reward system. They are cheap and they also come in several colors so for the older children you can even make them worth different amounts and work on actually trading so many smaller amounts for the larger amounts and helps work on math skills as well. Remember, be consistant and expect them to be respectful and things will get better. I hope that this has helped you some. I commend you. That is quite a job you have taken on. Let me know if there is anything else I can do.
Jennifer
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| posted by Jennifer on 05/07/2007 09:45 PM
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